Japan Sex Clubs Tour

Lou Santini: Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of 1trackmind. Alright get -- I am Lou Santini.

Danielle Stewart: And I am Danielle Stewart and this is a very special episode because this month, we are featuring Asia.

Lou Santini: The rock band from the 80s?

Danielle Stewart: No, the continent.

Lou Santini: Oh.

Danielle Stewart: In addition to our usual fun sex stuff, we are going to be reviewing some strange Asian sex sites and posting some wild videos.

Lou Santini: Really? Alright, now this week of 1trackmind, we are definitely turning Japanese, because we are going to take you on a tour of some Japanese sex clubs. So gather the family, get off the budget and we are going to plan a vacation. You will love this too, if you can just smell the Sushi, if you are like Ralph Macchio or something like a mayor.

Danielle Stewart: Oh my God. Your Macchio is about to make me Ralph. Let's move on.

Lou Santini: Anyway, as they say in Japanese Amonas or in English, headlines, here we go. First off South Korea is paying its men not to have sex.

Danielle Stewart: You could make a killing in South Korea.

Lou Santini: Actually the whole story is, the South Korean government launched a campaign offering cash incentives to its male employees to not have sex with hookers after the new year's eve office party.

Danielle Stewart: I don't understand, how the government is going to know if they there boys are well behaved.

Lou Santini: Someone has to do a spot check and it ain't going to be me.

Danielle Stewart: Yeah, one official commented, that he wanted the men to be traditional and just have sex with the drunked female coworker.

Lou Santini: That's old school, thats the American way right. Next up, a Japanese college student loses her virginity.

Danielle Stewart: You call that news?

Lou Santini: On film.

Danielle Stewart: Yeah that's a news.

Lou Santini: Yeah here is the rub. There is brand new Japanese porn movie called, listen to this title, the University of Tokyo Virgin Inspection: Painful Entry Through the Red Gate, it sounds more dramatic than anything.

Danielle Stewart: Very catchy.
Lou Santini: Yeah, whatever happen like Riding Miss Daisy or Lawrence of A-Labia or Oceans 11 inches, or something.

Danielle Stewart: Or how about Hello Kitty.

Lou Santini: Yes there you go, someone missed the both on that one. Actually the red gate is a reference to the entrance of Japan's most elite college, Ukawa Tudachi(ph), a 21 year old Japanese college student is a virgin and she lost her virginity on screen making that a first for the world of porn.

Danielle Stewart: Yes, she says that after she scored a perfect 200 in her college entrance exam, she went looking for a part time job and answered a classified ad, saying that there were looking for models.

Lou Santini: Thats how it starts.

Danielle Stewart: Yes. At first she was trepidatious about having sex on camera as most women would be.

Lou Santini: Sure.

Danielle Stewart: But after she found out how much it would pay, this thought might be a good way for me to pay for my education I smell a lifetime original movie.

Lou Santini: Someone get Valerie Bertinelli on the phone.

Danielle Stewart: Danielle where are you? She also said that she was unfamiliar with the ways of the world and wanted to change herself.

Lou Santini: Know ways of the world, change yourself, how about an internship or work for the peace corp. There are easier ways to go about this.

Danielle Stewart: Yeah, well as much as you may want to, you never forget your first time.

Lou Santini: Yeah and now she, her friends and family and you all can see her first time on DVD.

Danielle Stewart: Alright, well finally on the news, every spring the city of Kawasaki, Japan celebrates the Kanamara Matsuri Fertility Festival which is celebrated with a big parade known for its huge Phallus shrine that's carried through the streets.

Lou Santini: Yes the women sit on giant wooden penis totems and it's supposed to bestow fertility upon the revelers. Notice how all the women have big smiles on their faces.

Danielle Stewart: Yeah, it's the pursuit of half penis.

Lou Santini: That's good, that's good, keep it up, that was nice. I like that.

Danielle Stewart: Finally some folks can make a bigger deal about having a penis than you, you should look into getting your float.

Lou Santini: You know what, I am not spending anytime promoting other penis's, okay. I am busy 24x7 doing PR for my own, alright? Alright, and now as promised, it's time to take our tour of the Japanese sex clubs. So please keep your hands, feet and genitals inside the train at all times.

Danielle Stewart: Okay, well I don't if you folks know this, but women getting groped on the subways is a big problem in Japan. In fact they actually have started having women only subways cars. So some genius entrepreneurs decided to create a club called the pervert train. This club actually has rooms designed to look like subway cars. Men enter in small groups and grope female passengers in a crowded yet safe environment.

Lou Santini: All aboard the pervert train, get men saying that. Actually for a little bit extra is to complete the subway experience, you can smell pee and get mugged. No actually, seriously, now for an extra fee, a customer can actually get a take out service where a host is dressed up as a school girl, rides in a real subway train with someone, allowing him to grope her.

Danielle Stewart: Who doesn't want that?

Lou Santini: And that's money well spent.

Danielle Stewart: It is.

Lou Santini: Why invest?

Danielle Stewart: Next is the doll club, where shy men can pay to have sex with a doll in a private room. Now these are not like the inflatable sex dolls that we have in the United States. These are made to feel and look like real live women and some of them weigh as much as a small person.

Lou Santini: But they are still dolls, right?

Danielle Stewart: That's right.

Lou Santini: Okay, if you ever see me paying money to have sex with a doll in private, no less, shoot me. Okay.

Danielle Stewart: Done. Our next step is the school room club where a men can either fondle a model dressed as a school girl or have a teacher spank them.

Lou Santini: Yeah, the school girl was probably the biggest fetish in Japan, so these rooms are very popular.

Danielle Stewart: Yes and final stop is the bondage bar where all matter of rope cake can be fulfilled by getting naughty.

Lou Santini: That's true, come on, there you go. That was good.

Danielle Stewart: Have ever been tied out?

Lou Santini: Just emotionally. No I will not do the bondage thing because if the earthquake hits I am left there, I am not checking out that way or what if the girl ties me up, decide to leave, I starve to death and this is how my mother is going to find me. I don't need that.

Danielle Stewart: You know, you have real issues.

Lou Santini: You are just now getting that. That concludes our tour of the Japanese sex clubs, please wipe off and exit the tram to the right.

Danielle Stewart: But wait, we can't end our show with that our weekend Factasm.

Lou Santini: Oh yeah.

Danielle Stewart: Yeah. Lou did you know that another big problem in Japan is women's underwear being stolen.

Lou Santini: No.

Danielle Stewart: Women are complaining that they actually hang their underwear on the clothes line to dry under fear that someone is going to take them.

Lou Santini: Hey, what kind of world is this, where you can't hang your panties, who is hanging panties? Who does that?

Danielle Stewart: Well, apparently a lot of women, because one Japanese men was found with over 4000 pairs of women's underwear in his apartment.

Lou Santini: 4000 yeah, they are going to talk your way out of that arrest and no really, I hardly doubt you have got this much pussy. Get the panty back in. You are kidding.

Danielle Stewart: Alright. Well, that's it for our show, this week. One final note, our show is actually growing up because we are doing out for a survey. We are asking our viewers to fill a short online survey it will really help us out.

Lou Santini: It just takes a few minutes and your responses makes our