All in a Flash

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All in a flash....

I remember when I stood at the balcony holding onto a dying cigarette...asking myself is this what I want? Then the drag killed the cigarette some more and I let the fumes enter my system. The smoke that emerged out of my nostrils seemed to be less than the amount that went in earlier..Time has gone away in a flash. It has been more than two years. She was the light of my existence. I smiled thinking of her perfect smile.....

The smile died faster when I recalled the words she said when she left..... It was frozen in my mind as if time had a heart attack and let me register everything around me. I was at work when I got the phone call. We had been arguing of late and so I briskly walked out of my office lest the eaves-dropping colleagues get a chance to be involved. Then it came like an explosion, "I'm leaving for good. I've decided on moving on with Dave. I was seeing him behind you from the start. Don't stop me. Don't try to follow me....I know you will be OK. I'm sorry. I can't pretend to love you anymore".

The words "seeing him behind you from the start", was a bullet into my head. Then the flashes of the past made sense. The times I found Dave's pictures with her, the late office phone calls, he was his best friend?! How could I have been so stupid and lead on to believing her blindly?!

That was the day I took up a cigarette and never stopped. It was the only way I could see flashes going up in flames. There were more miserable times and I touched the marks on my hand and back in a flash, I remembered cutting myself to let the pain hurt me. The physical pain was bearable and the blood was flowing...all that while, the mental torture of having been betrayed seemed to hurt me more. I screamed in to the silent night and the house was empty. I couldn't sleep. I dreamt of her. She haunted me. I was going mad and I knew it.

I met new friends to stay away from old ones. The old friends knew it from the start and when they warned me of her two-faced nature I used to lose my temper. In a flash I remembered breaking Joe's jaw for talking bad about her. Now come to think of it, Joe was right.

All in a flash...

I remembered all the exhausted times of working double shifts to keep her like a queen. How I spent all my time and energy in making her feel special in every way....all for what? I would never question her why she asked me for large sums of money...then a steaming rage, so that's how Dave got himself a new car! It all made sense now!

False company can lead you into doing false things. I got involved in getting wasted, so that I could forget the woman who destroyed my living peace. I would never trust another. I would never love another. I would die this way. I was on the road to destruction and I knew it....If only I realised it!

In the midst of all the downhill at my job front and the decaying personal life, I met an angel. She entered my life when I was totally destroyed.... I had picked up a fight with a stranger and the stranger was an angel.

I was always a God fearing soul and believe it or not, He knows how to strike you with a lightning bolt when you least expect it....

All in a flash....

My life changed again. I carefully watched this little angel's behaviour, the way she carried herself in front of others and how she valued family and life. There was absolutely no resemblance of my past. The more I hated her, I realised I was falling in love with her. She had a heart of gold and no one bothered finding it.

All in a flash...

I remember putting off the cigarette and decided to smoke her instead....forever. And yet I was so easily bound to a person who knew what I had been through, who never hated me for who I was, who treasured me and who actually loved me!

All in a flash...

We got married and we have a beautiful daughter.

The angel is my love, my wife, my everything. Our daughter is my life.

All in a flash...

As far as Dave's girl friend is concerned....well, what can I say - Yes, she stumbled upon my path when I was walking hand in hand with my wife. There was nothing said more than a hello. The rest was understood. She was still single, Dave was treating her like trash and she wished she was holding my hand...I never saw her again.

Life has it's own tricky ways of teaching you lessons. Never harm those who do harm to you. Harm will automatically find its way to them. Instead of contemplating revenge, heal yourself, get up and walk on. Your life is far more valuable. In a flash, you fell into a ditch, so what... get up, clean yourself and move ahead...you have a long way to go!

All in a flash.....