X-Men Origin : Wolverine (Movie Review)

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Rating(out of 5): * * *

(20th Century Fox)

Starring: Hugh Jackman, Liev Schreiber, Danny Huston, Lynn Collins, Ryan Reynolds

So I figure it’s not really a spoiler to tell you that this one gives us the Big Reveal, pretty early on, that Wolverine (Jackman) and Sabertooth (Schreiber) are half-brothers.

Big deal. As sibling rivalries go, this one is somewhere in between the Bret Hart vs Owen Hart feud and the Matt Hardy vs Jeff Hardy feud in terms of intensity.

OUI-OUI: 'You'd never know I was Gambit, from my complete lack of an accent, no?'

Meaning, there were moments during this film when I thought I was watching a wrestling pay-per-view, simply because it’s all mostly action with some convenient exposition or plot-advancing device thrown in between the matches. Er, I mean action sequences.

Jackman and Schreiber are terrifically feral and hate-filled as Logan and Creed, a couple of guys who’ve been kicking around since the 1800s and don’t look a day over 35 thanks to their mutant genes and some nifty lighting, makeup and post-production work.

Without going too much into the story, since this is billed as an origin tale you can expect to see how Wolverine came to be such a hard-ass, with a skull (and skeleton) to match.

In short, it’s the inside dirt on how a mutant with bone claws became the skeletally-enhanced, nigh-indestructible Weapon X.

MUTTON CHOPS: 'Face it, Bub ... the sharper the claws, the sleeker the look. Next to me, you're just another Engelbert wannabe.'

And yes, it does dovetail somewhat neatly with the X-movies’ continuity. And I must stress, it is movie continuity that is served here.

Which means that once again, the faithful comic-book fans can clutch their treasured collections to their chests (but not too tightly – don’t crease the collectibles, Bub) and utter tortured, anguished howls of betrayal.

It would help you to go into this one like I did, with absolutely no expectations. That way, you may find it somewhat entertaining.

It would also help for you to not give a dog turd about the other heroes and villains making an appearance in X-MO:W: Agent Zero, Deadpool, Blob, Gambit and Silver Fox to name a few.

WHAT HE DOES BEST: 'And now I'm REALLY gonna irritate those prison guards. Tin cups against the bars? Hah!'

For a company that’s so proud of the huge array of characters it has, Marvel sure piddled away the cinematic potential of a great many of them here. Still, who are we to argue if people want to flush away their property ….

Bottom line: Watch this one mostly for Jackman and all those cool poses he strikes throughout the film, especially when he administers a variation on the Darth Maul Dispatch to an enemy during the climactic battle scene.

As for the rest of it, well, it’s all mostly flashing claws and flashy effects, and really, what else are we to expect from the first salvo of summer?

P.S. Reports from various online sources say that Fox has inserted multiple endings into different prints of the movie, so you may enjoy different wrap-ups depending on where you watch it. Since they’re likely to put ALL of these on the DVD/Blu-ray eventually (and we will probably get to see it all on YouTube in the meantime), my advice is, don’t get your spandex britches in a knot over it.