Emotional Affairs, when it’s not sex but it’s worse

There’s an old saying in basketball and sports in general, “No harm, no foul.”  Roughly, it’s for the hard core players that only recognize a foul or stop in game because of roughness when there’s bodily damage done.  Anything else is no reason to stop playing and things keep going.

In relationships, many times, we hear about infidelities consisting of motel meetings, secret notes and hidden text messages.  We have grown into a society where cheatin’ is about the flesh.  We recognize danger to our relationships only when it involves sex outside the marriage or commitment.

But, emotional affairs is a whole other animal.  And quite possibly the worst affair of the two.

Defined as “an affair excluding sexual intimacy but including emotional intimacy” by Wikipedia, emotional affairs are when one person in a relationship looks to someone outside for emotional support and constant sharing of life experiences.  The husband or wife no longer looks to each other for fulfilling their communication, companionship or supported needs.  The husband or wife looks elsewhere.

How do they start?  Emotional affairs begin with leaning.  A spouse starts to lean on a friend or co-worker for support and when the other spouse is distant, not there, too busy, etc.  The leaning doesn’t stop and it grows and grows until emotions are tied in with the other person.  The very same emotions that should be tied in between the relationship. 

How dangerous are they?  Emotional affairs are dangerous in their deceiving nature.  “We’re just friends” and “But we never touch” are often elements of emotional affairs.  Because there is no sex, we feel as if there is no affair.  But there is.

With emotional affairs, the rot of a marriage is not far behind.  Having an overly strong connection with an individual outside the marriage will more than likely lead to a PHYSICAL affair.  Cheating with emotions will cause distant and separation of the heart in a relationship if not distance and separation of the bodies. 

Connect your relationship on ALL levels, physical and emotional.  The more connections you have, the more founded your love will be.  Spend time together, practice loving each other and let nothing on Earth come before your loved one and vice versa. 

Get connected and you can avoid those fouls altogether.