Inside The Mind of.... C. Montgomery Burns

Inside The Mind of.... C. Montgomery Burns

Simply the best and most cromulent Simpsons quotes by C. Montgomery Burns, guaranteed to embiggen the smallest man.

Mr. Burns: Woah, slow down there maestro. There's a *New* Mexico?

Mr. Burns: Well, that's odd ... I've just robbed a man of his livelihood, and yet I feel strangely empty. Tell you what, Smithers - have him beaten to a pulp.

Mr. Burns: You're fired.
Marge: You can't fire me just because I'm married. I'm gonna sue the pants off of you.
Mr. Burns: You don't have to sue me to get my pants off.

Mr. Burns: Do my worst, eh? Smithers, release the robotic Richard Simmons.

Mr. Burns: [to Kent Brockman during interview] Oh, meltdown. It's one of those annoying buzzwords. We prefer to call it an unrequested fission surplus.

Mr. Burns: "You there, fill it up with petroleum distillate, and re-vulcanize my tires, post-haste."

Mr. Burns: This is a thousand monkeys working at a thousand typewriters. Soon, they'll have written the greatest novel known to mankind. [reading from one of the typewriters] "It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times?!" You stupid monkey!

[a rock flies through Mr. Burns' office window]
Mr. Burns: Look Smithers, a bird has become petrified and lost its sense of direction.

Homer: Gee, Mr. Burns, you're the richest guy I know; way richer than Lenny.
Mr. Burns: Yes, but I'd trade it all for a little more.

Mr. Burns: Smithers had thwarted my earlier attempt to take candy from a baby, but with him out of the picture, I was free to wallow in my own crapulence.

Mr. Burns: No! I thought, uh, I thought I'd chauffeur myself this evening.  Yes, that's what I thought. How difficult could it be? I'm sure the manual will indicate which lever is the velocitator and which the deceleratrix, hmm?

Mr. Burns: Quick Smithers. Bring the mind eraser device!
Smithers: You mean the revolver, sir?
Mr. Burns: Precisely.

Bask in the absolute cromulence of some more of the most embigenning Simpsons quotes around:

Inside The Mind of.... C. Montgomery Burns

Inside The Mind of.... Ralph Wiggum

Inside The Mind of.... Moe the Bartender

Inside The Mind of.... Grampa Simpson

Inside The Mind of.... Bart Simpson

Inside The Mind of.... Lisa Simpson

Inside The Mind of.... Marge Simpson

Inside The Mind of.... Milhouse Van Houten

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Homer Simpson on Education

Homer Simpson on Food

Homer Simpson on Money

Homer Simpson on Religion

Homer Simpson on the Second Amendment

Homer Simpson on Science & Technology

Homer Simpson on Women

Homer Simpson on Work

Homer Simpson's Life Lessons

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