The Real Truth About Global Warming

Global warming appears to be taking it’s toll on the world we all live in. There many misconceptions of what has caused this. Like many others, The Bo Jack family of services also includes a world renowned Science Department and the following is a report that our top notch science professors in conjunction with our journalist team have compiled data of the true reasons behind the occurring events.

Image via Wikipedia

Initially, when The Titanic sunk in April of 1912, the previously thought unsinkable vessel went down in the cold waters of The Atlantic, it started a strange chain of events that at the time, no one had yet realized would ultimately be the downfall of the entire human race.

The first thing to happen was the domino affect that sent the first iceberg moving in a path to hit another iceberg and so on and so on etcetera. This began to chip away at the edges of the hulking monsters and this phenomenon has continued since that fateful day, world wide around the world.

This actually created another problem……The polar bears were losing their natural habitat and started needing to swim further and further to find a habitual environment for their needs. The extra effort began warming their bodies to never before seen levels of exhaustion heating their bodies and in turn making the oceans warmer and warmer, melting the ice even further.

It was also confusing to the animals so they started mating in the water because they were spending so much more time in the water they were confused into thinking they might need to just start getting adapted more to the water, again this heated the icy areas and in turn melting more and more of the glaciers. The Polar Ice Caps were getting smaller and smaller.

In addition to these factors the Titanic itself was corroding on the ocean floor and causing the nature of the effort of the water to work ever so harder, rubbing the molecules of the water closer together causing friction and increasing the temperature hotter still.

In addition to the events explained above, the nuclear powered DNA altered penguinoids were uninvited guests to Earth sent by the BoJacktonians an alien force hell bent on destroying human life and slowly but surely taking complete and unmitigated control over the entire planet.

The nasty little lads themselves have the ability to live in any climate, cold, warm or even underwater.

The nuclear powered penguins had the ability to shoot laser heat nuclear radiated laser shots out of their colons melting and heating still more ice.

Image via Wikipedia

It was also discovered that an unreported nuclear assault weapons had fallen into the ocean from a ship that Bo Jack’s pirates kicked the shit out of but the sinking vessel’s Captain released the power and fury of these weapons as a last minute means of ultimate defiance.

That action triggered an eruption of the underwater volcano, Mt. Bo Jackal heating the water even further still.

Image via Wikipedia

The aliens are now planning a full frontal assault on planet earth and our only hope is Bruce Willis, Steve Buscemi, Will Patton, The big guy from The Green Mile, Tom Hanks, Bill Paxton, Kevin Bacon, Rocky Balboa and Bo Jack and his pirate crew…..Fear not as we will fight do the death, tooth and nail.

Oh one more thing; BOJACK THERE IS NO SUBSTITUTE.

Bo Jack Science Division, we’ll figure it out, so you don’t have to. The Bo Jack Nation we can’t be stopped