Risks and Dangers of the Internet to Your Child

The second half of the 20th century brought the Internet into our homes. Unlike television, the Internet is a virtual population center of human activity, open any user with a few computer keystrokes.

The Internet traffic grew swiftly and it attracted our children's attention. They go to the Internet on school computers, on homes computers, at their friends' home computer, on library computers and even on grandma's computer. The kids have taken to this new media like fish to water. It's no wonder; the Internet has been dubbed their new playground. [1]

On playgrounds, fun rules, but playground also provide activities that are important to the development of our young ones. The Internet is no exception. It provides educational, social, and analytical skills to our youth, thus its importance as a developmental experience is too valuable for any child not to be participant.

Risks and the Internet

The Internet has risks. However its threat of physical danger is rare. But this new playground does host a small population that spreads hatred, pornographic material, and it seeks to commercially prey.

Our young ones are not always the prime targets of these nefarious activities. But an innocent child is easily ensnared within these amoral webs during a first unsupervised encounter. Unfortunately, such an encounter may prove to be life altering.

The objectives of this note are twofold. The first objective is to discuss risks and dangers that a child is likely to face on the Internet, and secondly, to suggest strategies that can deflect some of its dangers.

The Rewards of the Internet

The rewards of the Internet are many: Entertainment, instant communication, expression of thoughts via web pages or chat room participation, communication via email, visits to resources of cultural, scientific, and current importance; all within a few keystrokes of a  computer.

Surveys document our children to be responsible users the Internet. They use the Internet  to do homework, to communicate by email, to text messages, to send instant messages, to participate in chat rooms, to make scrapbooks, to swap music, to play games, to construct games, to create websites, to write stories and even to present content. These activities develop social skills, analytical skills, as well as research and presentation techniques. All are desirable skills for the electronic age.

Internet risks to the innocent

Despite the good the Internet boasts, it provides cover for a small population that take advantage of the innocent; in particular the young. Their cover is protected by free access to the Internet and that fact that it is unsupervised. These realities make the ideas of the amoral easy to disseminate.

Parental Responsibilities in a Civilized Society

Civilized societies demand disseminating views that support the public good. Those in dissonance with the public good must be countered. The best defense against public dissonance is a  parent who has passed on his values and beliefs to his children, before others get the chance.

Parental Assessment of Internet Risks and Research

Parents underestimate the risks of the Internet that their children face. A European study of 960 parents whose children used the Internet at least once a week, reported that 57% of their children had pornographic encounters on line, while only 16% of these parents believed their child had been so exposed. [3]

In the United States, the home of a $3 billion dollar a year Internet porn business, it is estimated that ninety percent of children between third and tenth grade have seen some Internet pornography.

By contrast, a University of California Berkeley research team spent three years observing 800 youths using the Internet for 5,000 hours. The research reported rare  references to pornographic materials. Likewise a European study of youth web pages found more references to Jesus and than to pornography. [2]

Considering that some psychologists believe that a child's first encounter with inappropriate sex activities may results in psychological and emotional problems for life, and that a recent research conclusion suggests porn-use spikes immediately after the first encountered, then gradually drops off; the body of research on porn's effect on our young takes a less than convincing stand. Our children's wellbeing is far too important to gamble on the conclusions of such ambivalent results. Thus parents must prepare their children for the risks of Internet use by teaching their children their values and beliefs.

The old child rearing formula is still valid here.

• Have a trusting relationship with your child,
• Set rules for appropriate Internet use, and
• Introduce to her your beliefs and ideas before others do.

Getting Started

A good start to control the Internet risks to our children is to set rules for their behavior on the Internet and convey to them the value of the Internet as an educational medium. This can be done by a tour of some of the Internet's diverse resources - in particular those reflecting the values the parent shares with society.

The parent might consider touring a sample of web pages of museums of art, history and science, special libraries, famous buildings and monuments, some college campuses, historical venues, ballet sites, symphonies, prominent grand houses, and some great restaurants. She should not attempt to complete the tour in one setting. For this is a site seeing tour for parent and child to enjoy.

For example, consider goggling:

• Sacramento museum guide,
• New York museum guide,
• Paris museum guide,
• Shanghai museum guide.

Allow your child to see the different presentations. Shortly, she will spot the commonality of the different museum presentations thereby, instinctively learning what civilized societies value.

Some a child should follow when on the Internet

Explain to your child that some people do amoral things to gain an advantage. So to protect children, rules must set. For ideas, tweak the following.

• In the absence of a parent, a child must never give any information about self, family or others to anyone on the Internet, no matter how official their correspondence appears. Underscore any to include information about school, family financing, family personal matters as well as the personal matters of others.

• Without a parent's consent, a child is never to meet with anyone whom he has met on the Internet. If such a meeting is allowed, the parent must accompany the child and the meeting must be in a public place.

• Encourage your child to use a non-descriptive and non-suggestive Internet name, for example: CX639.

• Never allow children to purchase anything on the Internet unless a parent is present.

• Declare that playing jokes on others is forbidden on the Internet. Make clear to children that a desire to merely have fun at another's expense can end in pain or embarrassment to the other person. Explain how this might be the case.

• Make clear that messages to irritate or to belittle another are never allowed, and participation in cliques that do these things are forbidden.

Point out that society requires us to honor other's rights and freedoms. This is done by never engaging in the following Internet activities:

• Posting unverified information about another,
• Taking part in gossip,
• Bullying others, or
• Harassing others or
• Intimidating another on the Internet.

The Internet and Sex

When your children encounters sexual situations, harmful effects are best deflected provided you have equipped them with guidelines to handle the situation and they feel they can withdraw to the support of their relationship with you.

• Begin by telling your child that sex is for mature consenting bonded adults, and that you do not give him permission to participate in it or to seek a view of it.

• Point out the difference between pornography and sexual activity between mature consenting bonded adults.

• Make clear that your rules on sexual behavior are made to insure that he becomes a responsible person, and that your rules will protect him, not stifle him, and that they will deliver him to the person you wish him to become. Then ask that the keep them.

• Make it known that if he violates your rules, you will be disappointed, but you will not abandon him for the violation, nor you will withdraw your love from him.

• If you child encounter a sexual situation on the Internet, instruct him to tell you, and when possible, record the site on which he saw the sexual encounter.

• Assure her that your values will safely take her through sexual situations provided she remains strong and courageous in all of your instructions.

If your relationship is built on trust, believe that your requests will be honor and tell your child about your trust in him.

Further Suggestions

If you are unskilled in the ways of the Internet and your child is knowledgeable in using the Internet, step back, suppress your pride, and allow the little one to teach you what he knows. He will love sharing his knowledge. Your surrender will strengthen the bond between you. Be sure to listen and watch. Shortly, you will have to lead again.

Learn how to "goggle" for information -to  search for a website or a term.

If your child does not know the Internet, consider taking a short course on the Internet so that you can introduce him to the sites that reflect your values.

Conclusion

a. These suggestions were not offered to dictate how one should rear a child. They were provided to offer a platform on which to build a dialog between your child and you.

b. The suggestions on pornography and sex are readily adaptable to control other Internet ills. Be creative.

[1] Debbie Weissmann, The Internet playground: Potential Risks Provide Opportunities for Discussion, Connections - a dissemination of the Graduate School & Information Studies of UCLA, Spring 2008

[2] Julie Sullivan, This is your kid's brain on Internet porn, The Oregonian, December 17, 2008

[3] David Batty, Parents still underestimate internet risks, London School of Economics and Political Science