Vince and Frank's Backwoods Family Dining: Our Game Is Your Game!

Your wife may be a cooking phenomenon. If so, she may even be trained in the fine art of backwoods cooking. Nevertheless, we ask, “Who doesn't get tired of eating home cooking, day in and day out?” For that interesting taste change in a casual family atmosphere, why not visit Vince and Frank's Backwoods Family Dining? Located in the boonies, we are ready to serve you. We think globally, but we buy locally. Thus we can gather for your eating pleasure the freshest ingredients. Whether it flies, swims, or crawls, we will catch it and prepare it just for you!

Appetizers:

(Two) Strips of Wild Turkey Road Jerky

Small Portion of Hickory Smoked Black Snake over Jalapeno Pepper Hash

Two Groundhog Sausages garnished with Pickled Hawk Eggs

Deviled Baby Snapping Turtle on a Half Shell

Cup of Crawdad Creole

Platters:

Fillet o' Fox Sandwich - Served with Wild Asparagus, Goat Cheese, and Grape Squeezings

Posthumous Possum Patootie with Wild Onions Bordonaise - Enjoyed with crackling Cornbread and Frog Livers

Guinea Fricassee over Toast Wedges - Accompanied with our fine Gooseberry Cordial and Goober Peas

Chipmunk Chitterlings Chipotle - Nested in Nacho Chips with May-Apple Butter

Deep Fried Mountain Oysters - Served with Mashed Potatoes and Turnips plus Peaches ala Yellow Jacket

Rabbit's Foot with Fungus of the Day - “Hare today, gone tomorrow.”

Pigeon Crop and Parsnip Sauce - Served with a generous portion of French-fried Grubs

Kidneys of Skunk in Frank's own Savory Sauce - With hot, Whole-Grained Buns (choice of oak or pine)

Sweet and Sour Salamander - Served with Crispy Noodles and Mallard Dipping Sauce

Vegetables:

Steamed Skunk Cabbage with Crabapple vinegar

Kudzu Slaw

Chopped Cattail sautéed in Badger Butter

Morel Mushrooms (all bugs carefully removed)

Beverages:

Cold One-Star Beer (on tap)

Super-Sweet Mint Tea (mint type depends upon availability)

Hunter's Brewed Coffee - Grounds for Divorce (just joking)

“Spring” Water

For Our Younger Customers:

Bagel McBuzzard with Curly Pig-Tail Fries and a Lizard Gizzard Blizzard¹

Desserts:

Chocolate Dipped Snake-on-a-Stick

Swirl of Squirrel

Road Toad a la mode

Sweet Meats (dependent upon season)

¹ Comes as shown with a choice of toy: Camouflage-Joe action figure for the Boys, Betsy One-Tooth doll for the Girls, a set of five-point deer antlers, matching spent cartridges signed one each by Frank and Vince.

Thanks for your patronage! Y'all come back now, y'hear?