Family Incest Treatment

The goal of family incest treatment is to foster the recovery of all family members, but the focus is on family safety. Perpetrators in family incest treatment programs are fathers and stepfathers, but can also be siblings. They are not allowed to live with their families, and they cannot have unsupervised visits with family members. Perpetrators can only return to their families when the treatment specialists recommend this to courts, and then the judge allows the perpetrators’ return. All family members must agree that it is okay for perpetrators to return.

Unfortunately, sometimes family incest treatment fails. Perpetrators continue to abuse children sexually, and they are emotionally abusive. The possibility of such failures requires professionals to ensure that they provide the best programs possible and that they be knowledgeable about risks to abuse again.

Few families participate in these programs because most couples break up permanently once incest is disclosed. Family incest treatment can be  helpful when parents want to stay married and the children want relationships to the perpetrators, but want the abuse to stop.

Family incest treatment provides opportunities for all family members to participate. Participation in these programs is voluntary for family members, but perpetrators are almost always in treatment because of court orders. This type of treatment is for families where the children have been victimized and the children are still children.

There are groups for perpetrators, for non-offending spouses, for survivors, and for siblings who were not sexually abused. Couples therapy, individual therapy, family therapy, multiple family therapy, and family life education are other components of family incest treatment programs.

Family incest treatment programs can be intensive, lasting three to four hours every week. Typically, the groups take place weekly for about ninety minutes. On alternative weeks, there are multiple family groups and family life education groups. Couple and individual therapy may take place on another day on a regular basis or occasionally.

Multiple family groups are just that—two to three families meet on a regular basis to discuss their issues. Psychoeducation provides information about human sexuality, sexual development, sexual abuse, and recovery from sexual abuse. Guest speakers, often graduates of the family incest treatment program, are regular features of the psychoeducation.

A Case Example: Treatment Success

In some programs, survivors or perpetrators are the sole family members who attend. Individuals who attend on their own benefit from hearing about the experiences of non-related family members. As one example, a bright college-bound survivor named Sarah was the sole member of her family to participate in a family incest treatment program. Her father had sexually abused her, and he was in prison. Her mother and siblings chose not to participate.

In a multiple-family group, a father perpetrator who was a member of another family said to Sarah

I took advantage of my children. Your father took advantage of you. It is important for you to understand this so you can go on with your life and have a good life.

This was a transforming moment for Sarah. She felt a tremendous relief, as if a huge weight had been taken from her. She had felt guilty and responsible. To hear these words from a man who had sexually abused his own children was powerful, much more powerful than hearing the same thing from a professional or from anyone A

A Second Case Example: Treatment Failure

Joseph returned to his family after a year in jail and after he, his wife Maria, and younger daughter Stephanie participated in family incest treatment.  The two older daughters, whom Joseph had abused, chose not to participate in treatment and lived with an aunt and uncle who had guardianship of them.  Joseph was on supervised release, meaning he met with a probation officer once a month. He also participated in a support group for men who had sexual behavior issues.

Despite these safeguards, Joseph began to abuse Stephanie a few months after he returned home. He also emotionally abused her, calling her a fat whore that no man would ever want.  He also beat and emotionally abused his wife Maria.  Stephanie was terrified to tell anyone.  She did not want to be blamed for breaking up the family. Both her mother and father blamed the older girls for Joseph's conviction for incest.  When Joseph was in jail, her mother told her that the older girls should have kept it in the family.  Joseph could not provide for his family while in jail. The family went on welfare and used food stamps and food shelves. The family home went into foreclosure.  Stephanie did not want to be the cause of these dire outcomes.

Stephanie was too young to know that only perpetrators are responsible for outcomes of child sexual abuse.  Her mother made things worse by not emphasizing this. We need an informed society and a public will to do something about these terrible outcomes.

Summary and Discussion

Family incest treatment can be important to family safety when spouses decide to stay together after disclosure of incest, but there are no guarantees that treatment will work. Perpetrators have too much power and society's will to do something about incest is too weak. Incest may continue even after family treatment.

Family members do not require treatment because they are crazy or because they did something wrong, but because child sexual abuse is such a shock and so hard to deal with that family members need professional help to cope with, adapt to, and overcome the effects of knowing someone they may love and respect has abused children sexually.

When perpetrators take responsibility for their behaviors and apologize in ways that have no hint of excuses or blame, this not only can help abusers, but it is helpful to child survivors, to parents and other family members, and to friends. Survivors can and do thrive without abuser accountability, but accountability enhances quality of life of all who are involved.

There are no guarantees that family incest treatment will prevent abuse into the future.  Treatment professionals are ethically required to have the best possible training.  Perpetrators of course are ethically required not to abuse, but sadly some continue even after treatment.  We need much more public education about child sexual abuse so that children feel safe to disclose even when their parents have totally failed them, perpetrators by abusing them and spouses by refusing to live with anyone who harms their children.  Most spouses are protective, but many survivors report that the "non-offending" spouse did nothing to protect them.

This is a chapter from Shame, Blame, and Child Sexual Abuse: From Harsh Realities to Hope.  You can read the whole book free at http://www.stores.lulu.com/jgilgun. You can also buy a hardcopy or a download on lulu or download it to your iphone from Kindle. Another book on child sexual abuse is a free download and that also is at the above address at lulu. t's free because it is not finished and needs editing.

About the Author

Jane Gilgun, Ph.D., LICSW, is a professor, School of Social Work, University of Minnesota, Twin Cities, USA. She had done research on child sexual abuse for many years, specializing in interviewing child and adult survivors, perpetrators, and mothers of survivors. The research is very difficult to do.  She has persisted out of caring about children and working to ensure that they grow up in safe and loving families and communities.