How To Respectfully and Sensibly Apologize To A Woman

If the response you usually get when trying to apologize to her is one of rejection, you're doing something wrong.  There is actually an easy, sensible way to apologize to a woman. We’re not looking for the world, just your honesty, sincerity and rapid response. Unless you like being in the dog house, follow these simple rules:

Stop everything you’re doing and ask her to give you a second as soon as she can. This is very important because you have to respect her time. Wait for her response and then act accordingly. If she says it’ll be a second, say "O.K." Let her know you’ll have a seat in the next room and wait for her. Ask her to let you know when she’s ready. Do not turn on the tv, video games, or any music. TURN YOUR CELL PHONE OFF. If she says she needs more time than you can afford to wait, then ask her when she will be able to give you a few moments later in the day.

When she tells you the time, make SURE you are available and ready before she is. Be early whether it’s out to dinner that evening or the kitchen table when she’s done with dishes. Wherever and whenever she says she’ll meet you, do it. --And be there waiting for her early. This shows her that you are seriously thinking of her and stopping your world for her. Turn your cell phone back off. (At this point, when she sees all of this – you’re already forgiven. Now's your chance to prove to her that she was right to forgive you. Don’t stop here or you’ll ruin everything!)

She wants to hear words of apology from you, not assume what you’re going to say. Wait for her to approach you and get settled "before" you start talking. Look at her face, take a small, quiet breath (NOT A SIGH! NOT A SHARP BLAST AS THOUGH YOU'RE ABOUT TO BENCH YOUR PERSONAL BEST!) and start in a gentle calm voice with these words:

“I was thinking about what I (said/did) earlier and I want to apologize to you." (Make sure you say what it is you said or did. You don't have to respeak those words, but don't throw a catch all apology out there and hope it sticks. It'll sound counterfeit.) "I’m really sorry for (saying/doing) that to you. I must have made you feel awful.”

PAUSE FOR HER TO RESPOND.

If she does, let her speak her piece. DON'T INTERRUPT, DON'T CORRECT, DON'T OFFER SOLUTIONS, DON'T DEFEND YOURSELF. Just listen to her. She was hurt and wants you to understand that. If it sounds like she is blaming you, she's not. She's not piling on, beating you up, or trying to make you feel bad. Try to hear it as though she's telling you that some guy in the street made her feel this way. She loves you and she's opening up to someone she loves and trusts about something that hurts. You just also happen to be the one who hurt her. Let feelings of blame, accusations, anger or stress roll off your back. Don’t get mad, don’t get defensive, just let your precious woman speak. Look at her face while she’s talking (not her parts), nod when appropriate and answer any questions she asks you with humility and sensitivity. If she doesn’t respond here, then continue in your own words.

Well, that's it. The apology part is over here. You’ve said you’re sorry, you’ve made time for her to hear that you’re sorry, and YOU were the one who initiated the apology. She didn’t have to ask for it or apologize first to get one. Men, please stay tuned for the prequel – “How to know WHEN to apologize to a woman.”    Good Luck!