You've Got a Family Member With a Terminal Illness: How to Deal

Putting Yourself First

First and foremost, when you have, or are caring for, a family member with a terminal illness, you still have to put yourself first. It's easy to lose yourself and fall into the role of caretaker or feel like you must always care for your family member. This is not the case. In order to properly support and care for your ill family member, you must ensure that you are in a proper mental state.

It's beneficial to go to therapy or talk to a group that is in similar situations to your own. It can be extremely enlightening and beneficial to hear other people's stories - you'll learn just how much you aren't alone and have a chance to verify that your feelings are valid. It's normal to have negative feelings - you're in a very difficult situation. Having others validate that your feelings are valid can be extremely beneficial.

Helping Your Family Member

Your responsibility is to help your family member deal with the tough situation that he or she is in. Part of that involves listening to the person when he or she needs to talk. Do your best to listen and offer advice. It's not easy to have to deal with the person's pain and sorrow, but try your best. The person will appreciate it more than you realize.

Try to make your family member feel normal. This will also help you feel that your family is more normal than you previously thought. Go to movies together. Share a good meal. Take some time where your family member's illness isn't the center of attention and you get to view the family member as a person, not a person with an illness.

Doing What's Right For Your Family

Just because someone is sick doesn't mean that you or your other family members have to be emotional punching bags. When people are in pain, then may tend to react badly to simple things. If your family member starts yelling at your or another family member, remove yourself and others from the situation. There's no reason you can't tell the family member that you and the others are going to step out for a bit and take some time to yourself. You realize - and the person should as well - that the intention is not to hurt them, but to maintain a life as normal as possible, and sometimes that involves stepping away to regain some calmness when necessary.