How to Transition from Working Mother to Stay-at-Home-Mom

Many working mothers daydream fervently of leaving the hustle and bustle of working outside the home for the love and peace of full-time mothering, but very few of them realize what awaits them that first free morning. I know that I didn't and foundered quite a bit that first year. Here are a few steps which I hope may guide a newly-transitioned mom through the unexplored waters ahead.

Step1

Enjoy the freedom! Wallow in it! The first blush of "free motherhood" can be quite exhilarating as all your long-desired plans finally come to fruition. Whatever your maternal urges, from making homemade baby food to leisurely trips to the park or library, start them immediately and enjoy them to the fullest.

Step2

Expect to get tired of your freedom-eventually. The first stage can last quite a few weeks or months, but there will come a day when you wake up and wonder, "isn't there anything different about today". That will be the day when you realize that if you life is to have any meaning, any direction, any forward motion toward a goal, you will have to create it yourself. Now, if you had been a manager or teacher in your "previous life", this won't be too difficult for you once you embrace it. There are plenty of mother's groups, preschool, volunteer or church activities to start planning your weekly schedule around once you start looking.

Step3

You may feel very isolated. This was hard for me to discover, because I had a very solitary job as a working mother and have never been a social creature at work, anyway. But as a working mother, I was expected to show up on time in the morning and report to another human being and communicate with my beloved co-workers all throughout the day, via phone or email, so had been part of a working community. When I lost that community, I felt lost and alone-for a while.

Step4

You will need to create a new identity. Having worked full-time or part-time from my college graduation until the birth of my third child, the only world I knew was one of the "working mother". Although I always felt like a SAHM (stay-at-home-mom) trapped in a working mother's body, I was still unprepared for having no other title than "MOOOOMMMMM", not speaking to another human being older than 2 years old, and not having anything but childcare and housework to discuss with my still-working friends. To be honest, I am still adjusting to this aspect and have now found other ways to have an identity outside the home, including part-time sales from home, having an Ebay store and becoming an online writer. All new ways to express myself in concert with being a full-time mom, yet still giving me more facets of my identity to explore and embrace.

Step5

Establish a "real" daily routine. As minor as this may seem, it is important to get out of bed, get a shower, dress nicely, do your hair and put on makeup and jewelry, if that is what you did "before" SAHM life. Being a full-time mother is the hardest, most all-consuming job you will ever have, but it is a career. You have more leeway about the dress code for your new chosen profession, but be assured, you are working hard, so dress the part!

Step6

Find ways to leave work. One of the most difficult aspects of working at home, whether full-time mothering or paid work, is separating your "work time" from your personal life. Because your home is now your work place, it doesn't take long before that 24-hour a day environment can make you a little stir-crazy. Plan to leave the house every day for at least an hour, whether it is to the park or grocery store. Make date nights with your partner as regularly as childcare will allow, and make sure it is an "adult" date night like dinner at a restaurant. Watching the kids play on the equipment while you eat a fast-food burger does not count-although a quick fast-food dinner with your significant other without the kids DOES count in a pinch!

Step7

Finally, realize that once you have transitioned into your own unique version of a stay-at-home mother, you will enjoy it more than you ever dreamed. It will be harder than you dreamed as well, I assure you, but it will be richer, fuller and more rewarding than any dream.