Tips on How to Survive Remodel Madness

Take it from me, a 35 year veteran of understanding true remodeling success as well as the madness.
How successful our own project is depends on us. Yep, that's right!

This is so even before we begin, because we tend to choose our contractor based on certain criteria. How we arrive at that criterion is an important step that experienced homeowners NEVER gloss over. But, just as pivotal to our project's success is what we do once we’ve made our selection. We, the homeowners, have immense influence over the total quality of our project. My Blog, Remodelling Couples was developed for intuitive homeowners like us, who have looked around and have seen for themselves that their high IQ won't guarantee a successful outcome.   

Here are some important tips to help you be the best part of your remodel. We already apply many of these skills to other areas of our lives and the irony is that most homeowners tend to throw them out, or forget them entirely, when thinking in terms of a remodel. Why? Fear! Plain and simple. Fear will make smart people act like dummies. I know, I've done it, and I've watched many wonderful other do the same thing too. The big news is this: We are the greatest influence there is on our project. So relax, and enjoy knowing that you can have a better experience than the majority, just by taking just these simple steps. 

Skill #1: More important than what we think we said is what was actually understood by the listener (in my case the reader).
Practice being detached from HOW you think you come across. Don't fall in love with what you said or how you said it, believing yourself to have been clear. Rather, ask your counterpart to repeat back what they heard using their own words.

N.B.
This is sure to feel a little awkward at times, but at the risk of costly mistakes resulting from misinterpretations, now is not the time to be shy or feel embarrassed about making youself clear. And, no point is too small to clarify.
If you doubt whether or not you should 'bother' your contractor with a silly thing like repeating what you just said, then keep this in mind:
He or she, would much rather build what you actually want, than waste their time and your money on what they thought you said (before you verified).

Skill #2: Begin with the END in mind.
Examine the values you hold dear. Okay, here I go with the 'values' thing again. But the reality is, you can't get away from this part if you are determined to remodel successfully. Success with anything is easier if we take a look at our resources first; what we have as well as what we are missing.
So bear with me. The task here is a tiny bit of self-inquiry.
*How might your highest values prove to be assets to your project? How might they support your interactions with your remodelling professionals?

N.B.
You can make this a lot of fun by getting your family to do the same, but do it. The type of influence you are on your own project will depend on it. It's that simple. Besides, the next step is a bit easier if you do this one first.

  Skill #3: Ask yourself a harder question.
How might these very same values actually impair your progress?
For instance, do you value perrrrfection? Well, you probably already know, intuitively, that in a hugely collaborative world like home-remodelling, striving for excellence may be a better goal. Everyone can strive for their own personal excellence, whereas perfection is anybody’s guess.

N.B.
Here's the idea. Come up with at least one or two draw-backs to your values. Even if they sound ridiculous just jot them down. Then take a look at others (like excellence vs. perfection) that still fit you well but may prove more effective; in other words, the same but different... how's that for scientific? 

Skill #4: Take a look at your attitude about remodelling?
Are you so excited about remodelling that you can hardly stand it? Or, are you so mistrusting of it that you can't stand anyone you'll need to hire?
N.B.
Bear in mind that simply asking these questions goes a long way toward helping us 'deal' with whatever comes up once we are in it. Nullify the surprise of feeling surprised by yourself.
It's like you’re telling on yourself, before the fact. Please don’t be shy... we all have to face our limits at some point during the remodel. Take it from someone who has been there done that, and watched countless others go there too - before is definitely better than during.

   Summery: Get real with yourself before what's real gets you.

In other words, get yourself out of the way as early in the game as possible.
•Here's why: Some of us will be surprised by un-expected things at some point during the course of our project... to put it mildly.
Others of us will become down-right catatonic! Our dominant hand will simply refuse to sign the change-order that reflects the increased expense of our latest change of heart. It's astounding how that happens!

•So here's the gig; ‘telling on ourselves’ (in privacy, of course), will prove in-valuable. I encourage you to invite your spouse and even the kids to do the same. It will be even more fun.

•Here's my theory for how it works: What this does is it tends to minimize (or diminish the charge from) conflicting self-talk that WILL occur anyway (trust me). These simple exercises can help us to be less surprised by your own reactions to any number of events, which is helpful when we are busy with life’s other demands and straining breathlessly to keep up with the imposing pace of our project.