Advice for Teen Girls Starting to Date

Your parents normally decide what age you are allowed to date. They have good reasons for this. They are with you every day and know what your maturity and readiness level is. Parents were teens at one time and understand what you will be experiencing. They have your best interest at heart!

At what age should you date?

Talk openly to your parents about what age is appropriate for you to start dating. Be willing to hear their side and let them know your feelings about the issue. There isn't a set age for every teen. It depends on your maturity level, your willingness to go by your parents' rules and your ability to make solid decisions.

Don't turn the discussion into an argument. That in itself, may indicate to your parents, that you won't have the willingness to follow their rules about dating. If you are mature enough to date, you should have the maturity to engage in a constructive discussion with your parents. Don't react hastily with childish words, but listen to what your parents are saying. Then express your feelings calmly. There may be room to compromise, but you have to show maturity.

How do you know "who" to go out with on a date?

That boy you have your eye on may be really cute, but knowing who to date is about more than looks. It's important to date someone who shows you the utmost respect. Don't date someone just because they are cool or popular. If they are cool or popular, but also have good character and are respectful, that's another matter. The choices you make in "who" you date are very important.

Look for signs of how the person you want to date treats others. Are they respectful? Do they use foul language? Are they rude? Do they do bizarre things in an attempt to get attention? How do they treat females in general? If you see negative signs, they'll probably eventually treat you the same way. They may put on a good show early on to gain your attention, but a person either has respect or they don't.

Look for signs of destructive behavior. Do they talk about being a party animal? Have you seen them use drugs? Are they in trouble with the law? Don't believe that by them being with you, you'll be able to change their destructive behavior. More often than not, they will try to pull you in to what they are doing.

It's crucial to date someone who will respect you. Too often teens get involved with someone where the situation turns disastrous - anything from emotional or physical abuse, rape or a sense of worthlessness from someone trying to control you. This can have a lasting and negative effect.

Should you date more than one person at a time?

Dating more than one person at a time is a personal choice, but it should be done with openness and honesty. You shouldn't play games and make one boy think he's the only one you are dating when you are shuffling 5 more around. Be respectful to those you date. You don't want to get a reputation as a player, but as someone worthy and fun to date.

Set boundaries for dating

It's very easy when you are young to fall for a boy and want to be accepted by him. This can backfire if you get into situations you aren't ready for. Some boys may want you to party with them or use drugs. Some may try to have sex with you. Many female teens give in to a boy only to get dumped by them after they got what they wanted. This causes you to feel very used and hurt.

What if you got pregnant by a boy that was only using you? You would have the very difficult decision to make of whether to have an abortion, which could affect you for the rest of your life - or to have the baby and lose your youth. Babies are precious, but having a baby at such a young age forces you into a great responsibility few are ready for.

If a boy strongly attempts to have sex with you, how many other girls is he probably trying the same with? This could mean catching an STD, possibly a disease that could take your very life away.

Have firmly set boundaries before you go on your first date. Don't do things you aren't ready for just to fit in. Don't allow any boy to make you go against your standards. If he doesn't respect your standards, he isn't worth dating.

The decisions you make as a teen can affect you the rest of your life. Parents want the best for you and working together with them, maturely and respectfully, will help you go down a path you won't later regret.