Do You Keep Dating the Same Type of Person, but the Wrong Type for You?

Do you have a habit of dating the same type of person, but realize they are the wrong type? Some people tend to be drawn to the same type over and over again, yet they are the wrong type. Why does a person continuously get involved with the wrong type, someone who only brings destruction into their life?

You may not be aware of why you are drawn to those who seem to bring more negativity and destruction into your life than anything positive. The fact is, something draws you to that type over and over again.

Often it traces back to childhood. A child who has been abused, may be drawn later in life to someone who is abusive, because to them, it feels like familiar territory. More than likely they don't do this with conscious thought, but conditioning.

On the flip side, you may have had a wonderful childhood and be drawn to those who mimic one or both of your parents. This can be good, unless you find fault with your partner because they don't live up totally to what your parents offered you. You may be drawn to them because of the qualities your parents had, but disappointed because of expectations that are too high. In this instance, you may have to evaluate your thinking and how your thinking is getting in the way of having a good and healthy relationship. No one can live up to someone else 100%. You have to look at everyone as an individual.

Being attracted to the same type again and again can be for different reasons. Sometimes the people we are attracted to aren't similar to each other on the surface, but have similar qualities that cause conflict with compatibility. Each may look very different, have different intellect levels and different interests. You may be drawn to something about them, but maybe they are all takers or selfish or have some characteristic that draws you in, even though illogical. This eventually leaves you very disappointed in each relationship.

You may be drawn to those who you feel you can take care of or rescue or fix. Early on this may seem ideal for both parties. You are able to give and they are able to take. This can cause a lot of disappointment if they are the type to take advantage and never give back. Eventually, you'll become very drained. Those who are takers may be attracted to you in order to get what they want, but have no intentions of having a balanced relationship. You may be attracted to them because of your own insecurities and a need to feel important to someone by taking care of them.

Sometimes we are attracted to those who possess qualities we don't have. This can be intriguing, but you also have to look at the complete person and not just the few qualities you admire.

If you have a pattern of dating the wrong type, look at yourself first to figure out why you are drawn to this type. You are the common denominator. Go beyond the initial attraction to see if the other person shares your core values. This is where the root of compatibility lies and what holds two people together. What we are initially attracted to is often the very quality that gets us into trouble. If we don't share core beliefs, the relationship may not have enough glue to bind two people together for very long.

Write a list of the criteria you want in a partner. Write a list of what you will not tolerate in a partner. When you meet someone, look for the qualities you want and the ones you will not tolerate. Ignoring the red flags because you are drawn to one quality and overlooking the others, can be a disaster in the making. Think carefully before getting involved and especially with the type that has proven to bring destruction into your life! Think carefully about your part in choosing the wrong type.