Christian Counseling - Does It Really Exist?

I need help! I am a born-again Christian who was the victim of incest when I was younger. I have never sought counseling because my parents don't believe in "psycho-babble," as they put it. I am now 28 years old and I know I need to find a counselor. My relationships are suffering and I do not want to spend the rest of my life picking the wrong guy.

My problem is, how do I know a Christian Counselor from a counselor who might be a Christian, but counsels in a secular way? Maybe I am not making myself clear ? Is there really such a thing a "Christian Counseling"? ~ Confused in Tulsa

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Dear Confused, the answer is a resounding yes! There is such a thing as Christian (or biblical) Counseling! But you have to have some guidelines to find a Christian man or woman who actually counsels in a Christian way. Freud just won't cut it if you're a born-again Christian.

Christian Counseling has four distinctive qualities.
It is done by a Christian.
It is consistent with Christian assumptions.
It has Christ at the center.
It is consistent with God's revelations.

Now there are many who love the Lord and live exemplary lives, but they counsel from a human-centered point of view without acknowledging the reality of the spiritual world and without making use of God's ability and willingness to heal people. So I repeat: it must be consistent with Christian assumptions. In case you're asking "Whose assumptions?" the answer is evangelical Christians who believe that the Bible is the inerrant - without error - Word of God.

Here is a list of these Christian assumptions which are the basic, core truths necessary to the Christian faith, as stated in the Bible and as practiced by Christians throughout the history of the church. These are clearly stated by C. S. Lewis in Mere Christianity and by Francis Schaeffer in his books: The God Who Is There, He is There and He Is Not Silent, and The Church Before the Watching World.

Basic Christian Assumptions
1. God exists

2. He created matter, the universe, the world and people.

3. People share part of God's character (including a moral nature, the ability to communicate meaningfully and the ability to make decisions with real consequences).

4. At some point in history, Adam and Eve disobeyed God. As a consequence the world and all people became abnormal, or bent, and were thus out of personal relationship with a perfect, holy, just and loving God.

5. Because people were finite and fallen, they could not re-establish relationship with God.

6. Because God is not only perfect, holy and just but also loving, he became a man, Jesus. Jesus was killed and suffered separation from God the Father as a punishment for sins which he did not commit. Jesus conquered death, re-establishing contact with God.

7. Anyone who truly believes that Jesus took his or her punishment and rose from the dead can have a personal relationship with God (that is, can become a Christian). This requires accepting Jesus as the Lord (ruler, ultimate authority) of his or her entire life. God provides his Holy Spirit to help Christians with this task.

8. Christian living involves bettering one's personal relationship with God through Jesus with the help of the Holy Spirit. This life provides more freedom and joy, both now and forever, than life without the relationship. It also demands responsible loving of other people.

9. Some day Jesus will return to earth and ultimately the old earth will be destroyed and replaced with a new earth.

If you print out the assumptions and take it to a prospective counselor, ask if they agree with all of the assumptions, ask for referrals, and ask what part The Bible plays in his/her therapy, you'll get a decent idea where that counselor stands.

A starting point for you might be the American Association of Christian Counselors. Also, ask your Pastor (or several) for recommendations.

I do wish you God's blessings, Confused - nothing but blessings.

© 2008-2009 April Lorier