How to Snag a Free Guest Pass at Bally Total Fitness

The average Bally Total Fitness article has 4.2 steps. Will my article be average? I'm sure with enough filibustering and guffaw I can stretch this sucker into the 5 Step Realm or farther! But I guess we will find out soon enough as we embark on our journey to receive a free guest pass to Bally Total Fitness.

Secret URL... SHHH!

You have to know the ultra secret URL to be able to uncover this hidden secret "they" don't want you to know about. Good news is, though, that the link is below!

http://www.ballyfitness.com/get-started/guest-pass/free-guest-pass.asp

Did you click on that link?

If so, just fill out the form with your name, zip code, e-mail address, etc. Click the Next button when you are finished.

Tip from John Rapp©: Use the Tab key to navigate to the next empty form area. This saves time, energy and gives me some more words with which to reach the 5-Step Goal!

Select your local fitness health club

You will find the website has conveniently loaded up a map and a few of the closest total fitness gym locations near your zip code. Alarmingly accurate, this auto-map feature completely removes you from having to figure out for yourself just where you lie on planet Earth. This is really good, because planet Earth is really large and I know: I don't know about you, but I sure don't know how to navigate a map.

 Your free Bally Total Fitness Guest Pass will be sent to your e-mail address, or your friend's e-mail address if you sign your friends up against their will for useless things they won't use like I do. And then you will be off to the gym, where all the dudes go; or, if you're a lady you'll be going off to visit your new fitness health clubs. What are ya gonna do, eh?

Verify your information and club

IMPORTANT: If you screwed up and put in the wrong club, now is your chance to rectify your gross incompetence. The free pass is good only at the place you specify, so make sure you get it right. You don't want to drive 150 miles to some weird Bally across town, because that would be really silly.

Take one last look and make sure you've entered in the right information.

Get Free Guest Pass

Click Submit and shake my hand, because you're the proud owner of a new Bally Total Fitness Guest Pass! Congratulations, I never stopped believing in you.

We did it! We took what could have been one sentence and a link and stretched it into a 6-Step Marathon.

I would like to say thank you to everyone out there who supported me all the way. I love you all!

And a big censored phrase to all you out there who doubted me. I told you I could do it. In your face.

Enjoy your free Bally Total Fitness Guest Pass. See you all next time.