You Might Be An American If...

The United States of a America is a large and culturally diverse nation.  And while that may lead some to believe that there's “no such thing as American culture” (which is a very American belief, by the way) there are a few characteristics that the majority of those born in the land of Lady Liberty and corn-dogs all have in common.   How many of these describe you?

Photo by Sam Craig

19.  You consider guinea pigs, dogs and horses to be friends, not food.

18. When at a stoplight, you always wait for the light to turn green, even if no one else is watching.

17.  You don't watch foreign films very often.  And when you do, you prefer them subtitled and not dubbed.

16.  You would consider it rude if an aquintance stopped by without calling first, especially during dinner time.  (Thanks to Zompist.com, for inspiring numbers 19-16).

15.  You eat while you walk (and find no problem with this).  Chewing with your mouth open or slurping your soup, however, is rude.

14.  You drive.  You don't take the bus, train or subway (unless you live in New York City).  Buses are for the elderly or those who can't afford a car.

13.  You drink coffee, not tea.

12.  You own at least one pair of athletic shoes (“sneakers” if you're from the East coast and “tennis shoes” if you're from the West) and you wear them even on days when you aren't planning on doing any physical activity. 

11.  You ask strangers and acquaintances “How are you?” but rarely do you expect an honest answer.

10.  You don't own a passport

9.  You don't speak a second language.  At least not fluently (SpanGlish doesn't count).

8.  You consider it un-PC and offensive to tell or make race or nationality-based jokes or comments.

7.  You consider being friendly, outgoing, talkative and extroverted all positive personality traits.

6.  You don't inquire about a stranger's age, religion or political beliefs.  In fact, it makes you uncomfortable to talk about religion or politics with people you don't know very well.

5. You sometimes smile at the strangers you pass on the street.

4.  You are uncomfortable with receiving overt, physical affection from new acquaintances.  You prefer to shake hands upon first meeting, versus receiving a kiss on the cheek.  

3.   You wouldn't be able to find Uzbekistan on a map.

2.  You don't care that you can't find Uzbekistan on a map.

1.  You've finished reading this list and thought, “But aren't these characteristics true of everyone?”