Guide to Parenting with Freedom of Choice

Parenting with freedom of choice is one of my toughest dilemmas as parent. I learned about parenting with freedom of choice while I was in a parenting seminar. Recently, a dear friend and I were talking. I was frustrated with not being able to change a specific situation. I was once again reminded of the lessons I learned in the parenting seminar on parenting with freedom of choice. How do you follow parenting with freedom of choice?

Use Parenting with Freedom of Choice at an Early Age

If you are reading this and your children are young, this is great! You can begin parenting with freedom of choice when children are toddlers. Give them specific two choices when asking questions. Adults make decisions all the time without thinking about them. Instilling the ability to make choices and decisions is a great life skill lesson to implement at an early age.

Provide the Information and Allow the Choice

As children get older, it is important to provide the information that they need to make a wise choice. Then we have to sit back and let things happen in their natural order. When you practice parenting with freedom of choice, you allow your children to make mistakes. Step in if it is a life altering or dangerous situation. You don't want to just leave your children out to dry.

However, when parenting with freedom of choice it is important to remember that even though we might not like the choices our children and teens make, they must learn. Learning through experience with trial and error is a very effective teacher. Our children and teens will learn far more this way then being a controlling, authoritative and even cold hearted parent that rules as a dictatorship.

Letting Go of Control with Parenting with Freedom of Choice

My biggest challenge today still remains letting go of control. When you use parenting with freedom of choice, you aren't in control of your child or teen. They control their destiny. They make the choices that will affect their lives. This is very tough because it's hard to not be in control all the time or even part of the time of our kids.

My dear friend reminded me for my particular situation, my job was to provide the information and options to my child. From there, it wasn't up to me anymore. It is alright to be frustrated when you feel the wrong choice is being made. It's even acceptable to be flat out scared as a parent.

Letting go of control is very hard as a parent. We want the right paths to be taken in our children's lives. We want to shield our kids from pain, heart ache, turmoil and poor decisions. One day, we're not going to have any control or input.

Using parenting with freedom of choice gives our children the skills to succeed in life. For, when you use parenting with freedom of choice, the destiny lies in the control of our children, teen or adult instead of in our hands.

Teaching Responsibility through Choices

One of the biggest advantages to parenting with freedom of choice is teaching responsibility through choices. This is especially for teens and young adults. Our children are then old enough to truly see the consequences and positive results of the choices they make and control they take of their lives. Our role when parenting with freedom of choice is to provide them with the information to hopefully make wise choices. The ultimate responsibility and results (positive or negative) lies in the hands of the teen or young adult.

Always Be There Waiting for Our Children

The final lesson I learned in the seminar for parenting with freedom of choice was to always be there for our children. No matter how young or old, knowing that a caring and loving parent is there to cheer them on or to give them a hug is important. While parenting with freedom of choice you give control to your child, it doesn't mean you withdraw love, emotional support or being there for your child.

Using the ideas of parenting with freedom of choice does not mean you abandon your child and leave them stranded. You are the life raft to help them. You are the cheering section to celebrate successes. You are the warm shoulder to cry on in times of turmoil. With parenting with freedom of choice, you are the foundation of the teen's or young adult's life while they build their house of life. The rewards from parenting with freedom of choice are tremendous for our children and for us as parents.