Some Solutions to Minimize Teenage Rebellion

A rebellious teenager in a household can cause tremendous stress and disruption in your family life. Shipping your teen to a remote island is unfortunately not a practical solution. Boosting pharmaceutical sales of Prozac can be costly in many ways. A visit from Child Protective Services might bring more harm than expected. Understanding the cause and sharpening our parenting skills might be a better route to take to minimize teenage rebellion. The result can be very rewarding both in the short and long run.

First, determine if the rebellious behaviors are caused by behavioral or mental disorders. Most parents would have already known in the early years of their child's life.  If your child has always been a difficult case, seek professional counseling ASAP. 

Teenage years are the most difficult and confusing time in one's life. Teenagers struggle through identity crisis, peer pressure, self esteem, acceptance and relationship issues. We know that a large percentage of adults go through depression. We seldom recognize teenage depression. Frustration with school and friends can add to the discomfort of their fluctuating hormones. Pay attention to your teenager and if needed, enroll them in stress management programs or professional counseling. Most health insurance policies will cover that.

Any dramatic events in your child’s life, like divorce of parents, death of a close family member or friend, need to be dealt with through professional counseling and therapy. Having said all that, there are many proactive approaches parents can adopt to assist your teenager through this particular stage of life.

Prayers, prayers and prayers. Through our prayers, we can gain wisdom, insight and inner strength from God. Prayers keep parents from stepping over the line to insanity. It can also prevent unnecessary hurts and resentments caused by actions and reactions in the name of parental love.

Be a good role model: Teach your child good values and morals through your own actions and behaviors. Start them in community services and volunteer work early in life. Involve them in church groups and activities.

Be consistent and fair: Establish consistent house rules that are age appropriate and stick to them. Punishment for wrong doings should be doable, spelled out clearly and followed through. Once punished, you should not use it against your child in the future. It is totally unfair to ask your teenager to follow rules that you cannot do yourself.

Be Involved: Spend time with your teenagers doing what's fun for them. Listen to their music, watch their favorite shows, play their favorite games with them. They are more open to conversations in a relaxed and fun atmosphere. Besides, you would like to know what influences them. If they are heading in the wrong direction, you can steer them back before it's too late. 

Be understanding: Being a teenager is all about "Hanging out with Friends" and being accepted by others. The peer pressure a teenager goes through can be very stressful in their perspective. NEVER EVER embarrass your teenagers in front of their friends. NEVER EVER get personal when your teenager chose to hangout with friends rather than going to a family gathering with you on an ordinary weekend. Include their friends in your family events instead. 

Be generous: Give some phone privilege to your teenager. A separate house line only cost $5.00.  Pick a cell phone plan that includes unlimited texting. Your teenagers are going to talk and text and talk and text to their friends no matter what. Save yourself the agony of cell phone overages.

Be a good chauffer: Offer to drive your teenagers and their friends around whenever possible. A home trapped teen can't be a happy one. If they need to be out about anyway, you would want them to be in safe rides. 

Be a good host: Welcome their friends into your house and never judge their buddies. Make your home a teen hangout haven. The more time your teenagers spend at home, the less likely they will get into trouble outside. 

Be wise: Whenever possible, say "YES" to their requests as long as they are not outrageously ridiculous. Reserve the "NO's" only to major decision making and to requests that post potential danger to their safety and health. 

Be patient: Leave your teenagers alone when they are in a bad mood. Give them space and time to come around. NEVER demand an answer for their moodiness. They are as clue less as you are. If something is really bothering them, you will hear it when they are ready. 

Be a good listener: listen to your teenagers and find out what troubles them. NEVER lecture them when they are venting their problems to you. They already feel miserable. You don't need to tell them what they did wrong. They will stop talking to you if you do. Save your advices and opinions some other time. You want your teenagers to always come to you if they are in trouble. 

Be less critical: Constant criticism can lead to adverse effects. Recognize and praise your teenager’s strengths and avoid comparing them to others. Enjoy your child's uniqueness. Ignore minor mistakes.

Be supportive: Get involved in your teenager’s activities as much as they want you to and be a good cheer. They need acceptance and approval from you as much as from their friends. 

Be humble: Admit your own mistakes. You will get more respect from your child. They can also learn from your mistakes. 

Be human: Always try to remember what you were like when you were a teenager. Remember the mistakes you made. Just because we have matured through our trials and mistakes doesn't mean our children do not have the right to experience their own. The next time you want to be harsh with them, put yourself in their shoes first.