Creating a Customized Training Module:Communication with Customers

INTRODUCTION

The topic is self-explanatory in many ways- “Creating a Customized Training Module: Communication with customers in the retail sector (apparel)”

Communication governs all aspects of one’s life. Irrespective of the area of work interest it is a compulsory tool that must be honed and used as asset in one’s professional life.

Communication becomes of utmost importance in the case of a job profile that implies selling. To talk and convince a customer into buying a product is both a skill and an art that can be learnt and sharpened.

All of us sell things all the time. From a child asking Mom for a cookie to the CEO of a major corporation trying to ink a million dollar order, each of us sells. We sell our ideas and beliefs to co-workers, bosses and family. We sell products, services, and concepts.

Effective communication is an essential component of organizational success whether it is at the interpersonal, intergroup, intragroup, organizational, or external levels.

Studies have shown us that over 80% of products and services sold are so because of the relationship created, not the product or service. With proper training skills, the staff will quickly gain the trust or (Rapport) of virtually everyone they choose to influence. 93% of communication is created at a non-verbal, subconscious level.

A Basic understanding of the processes of communication and an introspection of one’s communication style can go a long way into a salesperson’s career. A proper understanding of one’s own strengths and weaknesses in terms of communication needs to be identified in order to correct or enhance those very characteristics.

Training and development go together in any industry. It is evolutionary in order. Training the sales force must be viewed as an investment that would reap benefits in the future. Learning from experiential training modules is beneficial in terms of longer retention capacity of the participants.

Hence, a two day module on communication is created for the growth and development of the sales people working in the apparel sector. This workshop has been customized to suit their needs and meet their specific requirements.

What would happen if you could obtain rapport with anyone in minutes?
Imagine putting yourself into a resourceful state of mind at anytime.
Imagine being able to listen to what others are unconsciously telling you.

This is the magic and the level of empowerment that this 2 day training module promises to deliver to all its participants.

SESSION

TOPIC

MODE OF INSTRUCTION

TIME

DURATION

 

1

Introduction

Presentation

9:30-9:45

15 minutes

     

Ice- Breaker

Game

9:45-10:00

15 minutes

     

Diverse perspectives to communication

Case Study

10:00-11:00

60 minutes

 

Break

11:00-11:15

15 minutes

     

2

Inter-personal communication

Game 1 / discussion

11:15-12:45

90 minutes

 

Lunch Break

12:45-1:45

60 minutes

 

3

Body language and barriers to communication

Lecture

1:45-3:15

90 minutes

   

Break

3:15-3:30

15 minutes

   

4

Self-Analysis

Quiz

3:30-4:30

60 minutes

 

Feedback

Discussion

4:30-5:00

30 minutes

       

INTRODUCTION

OBJECTIVE:

Effective communication is all about conveying your messages to other people clearly and unambiguously. It's also about receiving information that others are sending to you, with as little distortion as possible.

Doing this involves effort from both the sender of the message and the receiver. And it's a process that can be fraught with error, with messages muddled by the sender, or misinterpreted by the recipient. When this isn't detected, it can cause tremendous confusion, wasted effort and missed opportunity.

In fact, communication is only successful when both the sender and the receiver understand the same information as a result of the communication.

By successfully getting your message across, you convey your thoughts and ideas effectively. When not successful, the thoughts and ideas that you actually send do not necessarily reflect what you think, causing a communications breakdown and creating roadblocks that stand in the way of your goals – both personally and professionally.

Being able to communicate effectively is therefore essential if you want to build a successful career as a salesperson. To do this, you must understand what your message is, what audience you are sending it to, and how it will be perceived.

CONTENT & METHODOLOGY:

Problems with communication can pop-up at every stage of the communication process (which consists of the sender, encoding, the channel, decoding, the receiver, feedback and the context – see the diagram below). At each stage, there is the potential for misunderstanding and confusion.

To be an effective communicator and to get your point across without misunderstanding and confusion, your goal should be to lessen the frequency of problems at each stage of this process, with clear, concise, accurate, well-planned communications. We follow the process as given below:

Source: As the source of the message, you need to be clear about why you're communicating, and what you want to communicate. You also need to be confident that the information you're communicating is useful and accurate.

Message: The message is the information that you want to communicate.

Encoding: This is the process of transferring the information you want to communicate into a form that can be sent and correctly decoded at the other end. Your success in encoding depends partly on your ability to convey information clearly and simply, but also on your ability to anticipate and eliminate sources of confusion (for example, cultural issues, mistaken assumptions, and missing information.) A key part of this is knowing your audience: Failure to understand who you are communicating with will result in delivering messages that are misunderstood.

Channel: Messages are conveyed through channels, with verbal channels including face-to-face meetings, telephone and videoconferencing; and written channels including letters, emails, memos and reports. Different channels have different strengths and weaknesses.

Decoding: Just as successful encoding is a skill, so is successful decoding (involving, for example, taking the time to read a message carefully, or listen actively to it.) Just as confusion can arise from errors in encoding, it can also arise from decoding errors. This is particularly the case if the decoder doesn't have enough knowledge to understand the message.

Receiver: Your message is delivered to individual members of your audience. No doubt, you have in mind the actions or reactions you hope your message will get from this audience. Keep in mind, though, that each of these individuals enters into the communication process with ideas and feelings that will undoubtedly influence their understanding of your message, and their response. To be a successful communicator, you should consider these before delivering your message, and act appropriately

ICE BREAKER: HUMAN KNOTS

·        An ideal game for when you want a quick energy boost.

·        Get your group to make a circle, and face center. Have group shuffle up close, shoulder to shoulder and close their eyes. When all ready, ask them to carefully reach out and clasp hands, any hands, with people in the circle.

·        As facilitator, open your eyes and check that each hand is joined to only one other hand, and that there is a healthy amount of intermingling.

·        When you’re satisfied they’re ready, ask the group to open their eyes and start un-tangling the knot without letting go hands.

·        Eventually the group will untangle into a perfect circle, maybe with a breakaway smaller circle. Get everyone to clap and congratulate themselves for a job well done.

·        Caution – this is a physical activity so ensure that people are suitably dressed, physically able and willing to take part.

INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION: GAME 1

Goals

• To examine language barriers, which contribute to the breakdowns in communication.
• To demonstrate the anxieties and frustrations that may be felt when communicating under difficult circumstances.
• To illustrate the impact of non-verbal communication when verbal communication is ineffective.

Group Size

            An unlimited number of equal size groups of four ,six or eight members each.

Time Required

            Approximately one hour

Physical training

            A large room enough for the groups to meet comfortably.

Materials

• A pencil and the paper for each participant.
• A blindfold for each group member.

Process

• The facilitator divides the large group in to subgroups
• When the groups have assembled, the facilitator announces that each group is to create a language of its own. this language must be significantly different from English and must include the following:
• a greeting
• a description of some object, person, event
• an evaluative statement about an object or a person
• a farewell

       

Group members must be able to “speak” their groups’ language at the end of this step (thirty minutes)

• Within each language group, members number themselves sequentially , i.e. , 1, 2, etc. the facilitator announces the location of new group to be composed of all participants numbered 1.he likewise forms new groups of participants numbered 2, 3, 4, and so on.

• The facilitator directs members to pair off in the new groups. Each member must teach his new language to his partner without using English or any other recognized language(fifteen minutes)
• The facilitator distributes a blindfold to each group. A blindfolded volunteer from each group teaches his language to the group. A second volunteer repeats this task (fifteen minutes.)
• The facilitator distributes blindfolds to all remaining participants. Participants are told to stand in their second groups and all chairs are moved aside. Participants blindfold themselves and are instructed to find their original groups without the use of any conventional language or people’s name.
• When the original groups have been reformed, the facilitator instructs them to discuss the activity and to answer the following questions:

Ø      What did this experience illustrate about communication?

Ø      How did you feel during the experience?

Ø      What did you learn about yourself from it.

The facilitator leads a general discussion on the problems faced by people who do not understand a language and on the difficulties that blind people may have in communicating.

LECTURE ON COMMUNICATION

 

OBJECTIVE:

• Tips on how to improve communication skills.
• The importance of non verbal communication is taught with special relevance to body language.
• Barriers to communication is discussed
• Tips for confident communication
• Quotes to ponder over

METHODOLOGY:

A lecture would be delivered by a speaker. It would be a two way process with special emphasis on the above given objectives. Participants could ask questions at the end of the lecture.

CONTENT:

 

LECTURE ON COMMUNICATION

(Body language and barriers to communication)

Communication is essential for normal relationship, meaningful interaction and successful dealings among people of the world. So important is the ability to communicate that the man who is a master over the art of effective communication enjoys a great advantage in the competitive world over the other man who has not learnt to communicate effectively.

Communication as a human activity dates as far back as the time when the first two human beings appeared on earth.

Speech, signs, body gestures and facial expressions have been used as means of communications from the beginning. As the human society progresses up the ladder of modernization, the volume of communicated messages grow in complexity and the means or channels of communication grow in sophistication.

Communication is, today, a very important field of the social sciences. The processes, tools and media of communication are as vast as there are human actions. Communication skills are some of the most highly prized and sought-after skills in business. And they are equally essential at home.  Without communication skills we are unable to let others know what we think, feel, or want to accomplish. We are unable to build partnerships, motivate others, or resolve conflict. 

Studies show that as professionals rise higher in an organization, communication skills become more important, not less. 

TEN WAYS TO IMPROVE YOUR COMMUNICATION SKILLS

We all have people with whom we have to work to get things done.  Our ability to communicate with clients, customers, subordinates, peers, and superiors can enhance our effectiveness or sabotage us.  Many times, our verbal skills make the difference.  Here are 10 ways to increase your verbal efficacy at work:

• Develop your voice – A high whiney voice is not perceived to be one of authority.  In fact, a high soft voice can make you sound like prey to an aggressive co-worker who is out to make his/her career at the expense of anyone else.   Begin doing exercises to lower the pitch of your voice.  Here is one to start:  Sing — but do it an octave lower on all your favorite songs.  Practice this and, after a period of time, your voice will begin to lower.
• Slow down – People will perceive you as nervous and unsure of yourself if you talk fast.  However, be careful not to slow down to the point where people begin to finish your sentences just to help you finish.
• Animate your voice – Avoid a monotone.  Use dynamics.  Your pitch should raise and lower.  Your volume should be soft and loud.  Listen to your local TV news anchor; take notes.
• Enunciate your words – Speak clearly.  Don’t mumble.  If people are always saying, “huh,” to you, you are mumbling.
• Use appropriate volume – Use a volume that is appropriate for the setting.  Speak more softly when you are alone and close.  Speak louder when you are speaking to larger groups or across larger spaces.
• Pronounce your words correctly – People will judge your competency through your vocabulary.  If you aren’t sure how to say a word, don’t use it.
• Use the right words – If you’re not sure of the meaning of a word, don’t use it.  Start a program of learning a new word a day.  Use it sometime in your conversations during the day.
• Make eye contact – I know a person who is very competent in her job.  However, when she speaks to individuals or groups, she does so with her eyes shut.  When she opens them periodically, she stares off in a direction away from the listener.  She is perceived as incompetent by those with whom she consults.  One technique to help with this is to consciously look into one of the listener’s eyes and then move to the other.  Going back and forth between the two (and I hope they only have two) makes your eyes appear to sparkle.  Another trick is to imagine a letter “T” on the listener’s face with the cross bar being an imaginary line across the eye brows and the vertical line coming down the center of the nose.  Keep your eyes scanning that “T” zone.
• Use gestures – Make your whole body talk.  Use smaller gestures for individuals and small groups.  The gestures should get larger as the group that one is addressing increases in size.
• Don’t send mixed messages – Make your words, gestures, facial expressions, tone, and message match.  Disciplining an employee while smiling sends a mixed message and, therefore, is ineffective.  If you have to deliver a negative message, make your words, facial expressions, and tone match the message.

Improving your communication skills will improve your productivity.

TOP 10 NON VERBAL COMMUNICATIONS

Good communication skills can help you in both your personal and professional life. While verbal and written communication skills are important, research has shown that nonverbal behaviors make up a large percentage of our daily interpersonal communication. How can you improve your nonverbal communication skills? The following top ten tips for nonverbal communication can help you learn to read the nonverbal signals of other people and enhance your own ability to communicate effectively.

·        Pay Attention to Nonverbal Signals

v     People can communicate information in numerous ways; so pay attention to things like eye contact, gestures, posture, body movements, and tone of voice. All of these signals can convey important information that isn't put into words. By paying closer attention to other people's nonverbal behaviors, you will improve your own ability to communicate nonverbally.

·        Look for Incongruent Behaviors

v     If someone's words do not match their nonverbal behaviors, you should pay careful attention. For example, someone might tell you they are happy while frowning and staring at the ground. Research has shown that when words fail to match up with nonverbal signals, people tend to ignore what has been said and focus instead on nonverbal expressions of moods, thoughts, and emotions.

·        Concentrate on Your Tone of Voice When Speaking

v     Your tone of voice can convey a wealth of information, ranging from enthusiasm to disinterest to anger. Start noticing how your tone of voice affects how others respond to you and try using tone of voice to emphasize ideas that you want to communicate. For example, if you want to show genuine interest in something, express your enthusiasm by using an animated tone of voice.

·        Use Good Eye Contact

v     When people fail to look others in the eye, it can seem as if they are evading or trying to hide something. On the other hand, too much eye contact can seem confrontational or intimidating. While eye contact is an important part of communication, it's important to remember that good eye contact does not mean staring fixedly into someone's eyes. How can you tell how much eye contact is correct? Some communication experts recommend intervals of eye contact lasting four to five seconds.

·        Ask Questions About Nonverbal Signals

v     If you are confused about another person's nonverbal signals, don't be afraid to ask questions. A good idea is to repeat back your interpretation of what has been said and ask for clarification. An example of this might be, "So what you are saying is that..."

·        Use Signals to Make Communication More Effective and Meaningful

v     Remember that verbal and nonverbal communication work together to convey a message. You can improve your spoken communication by using nonverbal signals and gestures that reinforce and support what you are saying. This can be especially useful when making presentations or when speaking to a large group of people.

·        Look at Signals as a Group

v     A single gesture can mean any number of things, or maybe even nothing at all. The key to accurately reading nonverbal behavior is to look for groups of signals that reinforce a common point. If you place too much emphasis on just one signal out of many, you might come to an inaccurate conclusion about what a person is trying to communicate.

·        Consider Context

v     When you are communicating with others, always consider the situation and the context in which the communication occurs. Some situations require more formal behaviors that might be interpreted very differently in any other setting. Consider whether or not nonverbal behaviors are appropriate for the context. If you are trying to improve your own nonverbal communication, concentrate on ways to make your signals match the level of formality necessitated by the situation.

·        Be Aware That Signals Can be Misread

v     According to some, a firm handshake indicates a strong personality while a weak handshake is taken as a lack of fortitude. This example illustrates an important point about the possibility of misreading nonverbal signals. A limp handshake might actually indicate something else entirely, such as arthritis. Always remember to look for groups of behavior. A person's overall demeanor is far more telling than a single gesture viewed in isolation.

·        Practice, Practice, Practice

v     Some people just seem to have a knack for using nonverbal communication effectively and correctly interpreting signals from others. These people are often described as being able to "read people." In reality, you can build this skill by paying careful attention to nonverbal behavior and practicing different types of nonverbal communication with others. By noticing nonverbal behavior and practicing your own skills, you can dramatically improve your communication abilities.

BODY LANGUAGE

Communicating effectively means more than knowing what to say and when to say it. Communication involves the subtle signals your body language sends to those listening. Here are some common body actions and the impressions they create:

• Fiddling – Playing with your watch or a pen looks like you’re bored or impatient
• Clock watching – It looks like you’re anxious to move on to something else.
• Tapping – Tapping your foot or fingers suggests you are impatient or nervous.
• Staring – An unblinking stare conveys aggression
• Legs crossed or body hunched – Closing up your body profile —becoming smaller— looks like you lack confidence.
• Arms crossed – If you keep your arms folded during communication, you appear to be defending yourself against the others.
• Touching your face - When you have your hand in front of your mouth, you appear timid.
• Rubbing your nose, looking away - People who are lying often rub their nose or look away when speaking.
• No eye contact - If you won’t look the other speaker in the eye, you seem to have low interest or a lack of confidence. (Don’t forget staring. above.)

How you say things in communication is just as important as what you say. Watch your body language and control the unconscious message you might be sending.

SEVEN BARRIERS TO GREAT COMMUNICATION

 

It's not always easy and often takes a lot of determination. But making an effort to remove the obstacles - tangible and intangible - that stand in our way, can be the key to building relationships that really work                                       

By Eric Garner

Many people think that communicating is easy. It is after all something we've done all our lives. There is some truth in this simplistic view. Communicating is straightforward. What makes it complex, difficult, and frustrating are the barriers we put in the way.

Here are the 7 top barriers.

1. PHYSICAL BARRIERS

Physical barriers in the workplace include: marked out territories, empires and fiefdoms into which strangers are not allowed closed office doors, barrier screens, separate areas for people of different status large working areas or working in one unit that is physically separate from others. Research shows that one of the most important factors in building cohesive teams is proximity. As long as people still have a personal space that they can call their own, nearness to others aids communication because it helps us get to know one another.

2. PERCEPTUAL BARRIERS

The problem with communicating with others is that we all see the world differently. If we didn't, we would have no need to communicate: something like extrasensory perception would take its place. The following anecdote is a reminder of how our thoughts, assumptions and perceptions shape our own realities: A traveller was walking down a road when he met a man from the next town. "Excuse me," he said. "I am hoping to stay in the next town tonight. Can you tell me what the townspeople are like?" "Well," said the townsman, "how did you find the people in the last town you visited?" "Oh, they were an irascible bunch. Kept to themselves. Took me for a fool. Over-charged me for what I got. Gave me very poor service." "Well, then," said the townsman, "you'll find them pretty much the same here."

3. EMOTIONAL BARRIERS

One of the chief barriers to open and free communications is the emotional barrier. It is comprised mainly of fear, mistrust and suspicion. The roots of our emotional mistrust of others lie in our childhood and infancy when we were taught to be careful what we said to others.

"Mind your P's and Q's"; "Don't speak until you're spoken to"; "Children should be seen and not heard". As a result many people hold back from communicating their thoughts and feelings to others. They feel vulnerable. While some caution may be wise in certain relationships, excessive fear of what others might think of us can stunt our development as effective communicators and our ability to form meaningful relationships.

4. CULTURAL BARRIERS:

When we join a group and wish to remain in it, sooner or later we need to adopt the behaviour patterns of the group. These are the behaviours that the group accept as signs of belonging. The group rewards such behaviour through acts of recognition, approval and inclusion. In groups which are happy to accept you, and where you are happy to conform, there is a mutuality of interest and a high level of win-win contact.

Where, however, there are barriers to your membership of a group, a high level of game-playing replaces good communication.

5. LANGUAGE BARRIERS:

Language that describes what we want to say in our terms may present barriers to others who are not familiar with our expressions, buzz-words and jargon. When we couch our communication in such language, it is a way of excluding others. In a global market place the greatest compliment we can pay another person is to talk in their language. One of the more chilling memories of the Cold War was the threat by the Soviet leader Nikita Khruschev saying to the Americans at the United Nations: "We will bury you!" This was taken to mean a threat of nuclear annihilation. However, a more accurate reading of Khruschev's words would have been: "We will overtake you!" meaning economic superiority. It was not just the language, but the fear and suspicion that the West had of the Soviet Union that led to the more alarmist and sinister interpretation.

6. GENDER BARRIERS:

There are distinct differences between the speech patterns in a man and those in a woman. A woman speaks between 22,000 and 25,000 words a day whereas a man speaks between 7,000 and 10,000. In childhood, girls speak earlier than boys and at the age of three, have a vocabulary twice that of boys. The reason for this lies in the wiring of a man's and woman's brains. When a man talks, his speech is located in the left side of the brain but in no specific area. When a woman talks, the speech is located in both hemispheres and in two specific locations.

This means that a man talks in a linear, logical and compartmentalised way, features of left-brain thinking; whereas a woman talks more freely mixing logic and emotion, features of both sides of the brain. It also explains why women talk for much longer than men each day.

7. INTER-PERSONAL BARRIERS:

There are six levels at which people can distance themselves from one another:

Withdrawal is an absence of interpersonal contact. It is both refusal to be in touch and time alone.

Rituals are meaningless, repetitive routines devoid of real contact.

Pastimes fill up time with others in social but superficial activities.

Working activities are those tasks which follow the rules and procedures of contact but no more.

Games are subtle, manipulative interactions which are about winning and losing. They include "rackets" and "stamps".

Closeness is the aim of interpersonal contact where there is a high level of honesty and acceptance of yourself and others.

Working on improving your communications is a broad-brush activity. You have to change your thoughts, your feelings, and your physical connections.

That way, you can break down the barriers that get in your way and start building relationships that really work.

RESPONDING TO PROBLEMS

This section is devoted to ideas of how one might deal with the various problems associated with the volatile situations.

·        If a participant strays from the agenda item, call him/her back: "we should deal with that separately, but what do you feel about the issue X?"

·        If there is confusion, you might ask: "do I understand correctly that ...?"

·        If the speaker begins to ramble, wait until an inhalation of breath and jump in: "yes I understand that such and such, does any one disagree?"

·        If a point is too woolly or too vague ask for greater clarity: "what exactly do you have in mind?"

·        If someone interrupts (someone other than a rambler), you should suggest that: "we hear your contribution after Gretchen has finished."

·        If people chat, you might either simply state your difficulty in hearing/concentrating on the real speaker. or ask them a direct question: "what do you think about that point."

·        If someone gestures disagreement with the speaker (e.g. by a grimace), then make sure they are brought into the discussion next: "what do you think Gretchen?"

·        If you do not understand, say so: "I do not understand that, would you explain it a little more; or do you mean X or Y?"

·        If there is an error, look for a good point first: "I see how that would work if X Y Z, but what would happen if A B C?"

·        If you disagree, be very specific: "I disagree because ..."

FACILITATING COMMUNICATION

In addition to removal of specific barriers to communication, the following general

guidelines may also facilitate communication.

1. Have a positive attitude about communication. Defensiveness interferes with

communication.

2. Work at improving communication skills. It takes knowledge and work. The

communication model and discussion of barriers to communication provide the

necessary knowledge. This increased awareness of the potential for improving

communication is the first step to better communication.

3. Include communication as a skill to be evaluated along with all the other skills in each person's job description. Help other people improve their communication skills by helping them understand their communication problems.

4. Make communication goal oriented. Relational goals come first and pave the way for other goals. When the sender and receiver have a good relationship, they are much more likely to accomplish their communication goals.

5. Approach communication as a creative process rather than simply part of the chore of working with people. Experiment with communication alternatives. What works with one person may not work well with another person. Vary channels, listening techniques, and feedback techniques.

6. Accept the reality of miscommunication. The best communicators fail to have perfect communication. They accept miscommunication and work to minimize its negative impacts.

4 TIPS FOR CONFIDENT COMMUNICATION

The four examples of body language that is counter-productive in developing confidence and how to solve them are:

1. Moving eye contact - people with low confidence levels rarely make eye contact and when they do, as soon as the other person returns that eye contact the person looks away. You do not look silly looking the other person in the eyes. In fact, not making eye contact makes you look weirder and is more annoying to the other person.

Good eye contact will show the person you are listening and that you are interested in what they have to say. However, you can have too much of a good thing. Excessive eye contact is non-verbal aggression. Dr. Peter Andersen, author of The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Body Language, says you will make the other person feel comfortable with about 60% eye contact. With practice I found that you will develop an intuition or ‘gut-feeling’ when you make the other person uncomfortable. As an example when you make to much eye contact, they will begin to not make eye contact with you or maybe fidget. At the moment, too much eye contact probably is not your concern as you are trying to develop confident body language but you still should be aware of the problems with excessive eye contact.

2. Weak touch - otherwise known as haptics, touch involves bodily contact. What area of haptics we are interested in for developing confident non-verbal communication is mostly the handshake. You will rarely use any other haptics other then a handshake in a normal social situation. It is not as if you normally go around patting people on the back or stroking their arm... I hope. That’s just strange!

What did you feel when someone shook your hand with a soft handshake? I bet you wondered if they cared about you at all or if they lacked confidence to show this concern. This is a ‘girly touch’. A good handshake depends on the receiving person. Most of the time you want a firm handshake, but occasionally with say the elderly you don’t want to be crushing their hand! For guys, when greeting ladies be aware that they do not have gigantic hard hands like you so be a little less firm. A firm handshake shows you care and is an initial way of communicating confidence when meeting someone.

3. Stay away – proxemics is body positions relative to one another. What I mean by “relative to one another” is the distance between you and the other person. You are most comfortable with an intimate or well known person being close to you as opposed to someone you just met. People with low confidence will have a much wider radius of comfort. A more confident person will not show fear when someone “breaks” their comfortable proxemics. This does not mean they are comfortable with the closeness, it just means they do not show their discomfort. They desire the other person to stay away but they cope with the situation. Guys, if a lady gets close to you, it is okay to feel uncomfortable. Just do not show discomfort. This will communicate that she does not intimidate you and will increase her level of attraction towards you. An excellent example of proxemics that I can remember is two Australian Politicians on October 8 the eve of the 2004 federal election. John Howard was greeted by opposition leader Mark Latham aggressively. While Mark Latham did pull John Howard towards him when shaking hands (aggressive haptics), Latham made his body position aggressive by being extremely close and towering over the shorter John Howard. Despite this, Mr. Howard non-verbally stood his ground in confidence by continuing the handshake and smiling towards the cameras. I’m sure John Howard

would have felt uncomfortable but he still communicated signs of confidence. It was said Latham attempted to get revenge for Howard squeezing his wife’s hand too hard at a press function which I found to be funny! If only they were both able to read this!

4. Carry yourself - the last non-verbal communication technique I feel is valuable in developing confidence is kinesics. It involves body movement. Possibly the most important kinesics in confidence is posture. A slouched posture not only screams an unconfident person, but it has a physical and psychological effect on the person with the poor posture. The physical effect of slouching your shoulders forward is it causes your chest to compress inwards. Your chest compressing simulates expelling air causing you to breathe shallowly. This means if you have poor posture you will have poor breathing. The psychological effect of poor posture is poorer confidence. I'll use arguably the world’s best golfer, Tiger Woods, as an example. Tiger is taught to maintain good posture as he approaches each shot. By having good posture he is able to breathe correctly and physically get his body into the right state of confidence. From this his mind is able to focus on the shot ahead. It is a trigger-fire action where one causes the other.

I know once golfer’s lose this state of confidence through poor posture, the affects are surprisingly strong. The golfer’s chest begins to tighten and everything heightens. They then lose their state of control, calmness, and confidence causing poor performance. The same relates to everyday life. We experience poor performance when our breathing becomes shallow. Our level of stress and anxiety begin to increase. To practice a confident posture, roll your shoulders forward, upwards, and then back down to almost complete a circle. Watch your shoulders as you rotate them and if they are behind to what they were prior to doing the activity and you are comfortable, you have done the activity correctly.

SELF ANALYSIS- QUIZ

Communication, which occupies approximately 70% of our waking hours, is what many leaders find the most frustrating. The fact is most of us were never taught how to communicate in a way that produces desired results, so we continue to experience frustration, resistance, conflicts, or breakdowns. Think of a recent important conversation. How many of these questions can you answer YES to?

• Did I take full responsibility for the message being heard by the other person? (Remember, it doesn't matter what you say, it only matters what the other person hears.)
• Did I respect the other person's point of view? (Did I have a reaction to what they were saying that prevented me from listening to their full message?)
• Did the other person feel heard and understood? (Did I acknowledge them?)
• If I was asking someone to take a specific action, did I make my request clear?
• Was I speaking in a way the other person can understand? (Speaking in their communication style.)
• Was I communicating openly, without prejudices, expectations and judgment? (Was I focused on having to be right or hearing their point of view?)
• Did the other person leave the conversation feeling good – with some value?
• Did I leave the conversation feeling good – with some value?
• Did I follow-up to see if the conversation was successful – it led to the desired results?
• If the outcome of the conversation did not meet my expectations, did I learn what I could improve upon to better communicate with that particular person?

So how did you score?

8-10 Yeses indicate you’re the tops. Keep up the good work.

4-7 Yeses is OK. Brush up in certain areas.

0-3 means you have work to do.

Here are four ways to be a better communicator and leader:

Talk less and hear more.

We want to be heard and listened to but we don't always concentrate on listening to others. We focus more on our agenda than on the other person’s thoughts, concerns or issues.

Don’t assume others are mind readers.

We want some kind of action or response from another person. However, we don’t let them know what we really want or how to achieve it. Before assuming the other knows what you want, first inform and then ask for feedback. Take the time upfront to get better mileage later on.

Don’t shot the messenger.

We want to understand but our ability to understand is tainted by our perceptions of the person speaking or the outcome we are looking to achieve. So, we often pass judgment on the speaker and disregard the message. Concentrate on the message not the messenger.

Join forces.

We want acceptance and agreement from others, so much so, that we often become consumed with having to be right or proving our point. We push and push our agenda. Rather, stop, look and listen for areas of mutual agreement. Then work from there to co-create a greater outcome together.

The next time you are involved in an important conversation pause your mental and verbal tape player for a moment. Then start really listening. It’s amazing what you will discover. Perhaps information that can lead to your leadership and business success.

DAILY AGENDA DAY 2

SESSION

TOPIC

MODE OF INSTRUCTION

TIME

DURATION

1

Basic Communication Skills

Presentation and discussion

9:30-11:00

90 minutes

Break

11:00-11:15

15 minutes

2

Interacting with difficult customers

Brain- storming

11:15-12:00

45 minutes

Dominant Communication Style

Quiz

12:00-12:45

45 minutes

Lunch Break

12:45-1:45

60 minutes

3

Practically handling Difficult Situations

Role Play

1:45-3:15

90 minutes

Break

3:15-3:30

15 minutes

4

Develop listening skills

Game 2 /

Discussion

3:30-4:45

75 minutes

Feedback

Discussion

4:45-5:00

15 minutes

BRAINSTORMING

Brainstorming can be an effective way to generate lots of ideas on a specific issue and then determine which idea – or ideas – is the best solution. Brainstorming is most effective with groups of 8-12 people and should be performed in a relaxed environment. If participants feel free to relax and joke around, they'll stretch their minds further and therefore produce more creative ideas.

A brainstorming session requires a facilitator, a brainstorming space and something on which to write ideas, such as a white-board a flip chart or software tool. The facilitator's responsibilities include guiding the session, encouraging participation and writing ideas down.

Brainstorming works best with a varied group of people. Participants should come from various departments across the organisation and have different backgrounds. Even in specialist areas, outsiders can bring fresh ideas that can inspire the experts.

There are numerous approaches to brainstorming, but the traditional approach is generally the most effective because it is the most energetic and openly collaborative, allowing participants to build on each others' ideas.

Creativity exercises, relaxation exercises or other fun activities before the session can help participants relax their minds so that they will be more creative during the brainstorming session.

CONTENT

Give your opinion and creative solutions as to what communication tips and tricks to apply when dealing with the following situations?

• An irate customer
• A person who does not have knowledge about the product
• A price sensitive customer

OBJECTIVE:

Is to challenge the mental faculty of the participants to come up with creative communication solutions for common situations in everyday work life of a salesperson

METHODOLOGY:

·        Define your problem or issue as a creative challenge. This is extremely important. A badly designed challenge could lead to lots of ideas which fail to solve your problem. A well designed creative challenge generates the best ideas to solve your problem. Give yourselves a time limit. We recommend around 45 minutes, but experience will show how much time is required. Larger groups may need more time to get everyone's ideas out. Alternatively, give yourself an idea limit. At minimum, push for 50 ideas. But 100 ideas is even better.

·        Once the brainstorming starts, participants shout out solutions to the problem while the facilitator writes them down – usually on a white board or flip-chart for all to see. There must be absolutely no criticizing of ideas. No matter how daft, how impossible or how silly an idea is, it must be written down. Laughing is to be encouraged. Criticism is not.

·        Once your time is up, select the five ideas which you like best. Make sure everyone involved in the brainstorming session is in agreement.

·        Write down about five criteria for judging which ideas best solve your problem.

·        Give each idea a score of 0 to 5 points depending on how well it meets each criterion. Once all of the ideas have been scored for each criterion, add up the scores.

• The idea with the highest score will best solve your problem. But you should keep a record of all of your best ideas and their scores in case your best idea turns out not to be workable.

  DOMINANT COMMUNICATION STYLE: QUIZ

  Try this fun self-quiz to find out your dominant Communication Style. Afterwards read about the different styles and reflect on how you can work with others of a different style. Choose the number of the statement that most closely resembles you:

  1. At a large social gathering, you are most likely to:

  a. interact with many different people, strangers included.

  b. talk one-on-one mostly with people you already know.

  c. use the opportunity to make important contacts.

  d. leave as soon as it is polite to do so.

  2. When you first arrive at a meeting you are usually…

  a. ...a bit late, and try to sneak in the back without being noticed.

  b. ...purposely a bit late, you like to get there when things have started happening already.

  c. ...arrive right on time and feel impatient if the meeting starts late.

  d. ...arrive early so that you can be ready and organized when the meeting starts.

  3. If you were famous in your field, which career would most suit you?

  a. Movie star

  b. Head of a company

  c. Inventor

  d. Humanitarian

  4. What style of entertainment do you most enjoy watching?

  a. Something warm and friendly.

  b. Something quirky and intellectual.

  c. Something political or satirical.

  d. Something wild, outrageous and/or fun.

  5. Of these four personality traits, you consider your strongest to be:

  a. Compassion

  b. Assertiveness

  c. Imagination

  d. Persistence

  6. The statement that most closely describes you is:

  a. Sensible and frugal.

  b. Rational and quick-witted.

  c. Sensitive and reliable.

  d. Creative and fiery.

  7. Which appeals to you the most?

  a. Taking action on a calculated risk.

  b. Creating harmonious human relationships.

  c. Discovering the secret behind a complex mystery.

  d. Going to an exciting social event.

  8. Which rules you more?

  a. Your heart

  b. Your head

  c. Your wallet

  d. Your libido

  9. New and non-routine interaction with others:

  a. ...usually stimulates and energize you.

  b. ...revitalizes you, if you have a special connection with someone in the process.

  c. ...taxes your reserves, and you aren’t afraid to let people know it.

  d. ...taxes your reserves, so you quietly slip away when no one is watching.

  10. When doing group projects, which part of the process is most important to you?

  a. Creating relationships with people.

  b. Sorting out who is playing what role in the project.

  c. Organizing the way the project is done.

  d. Making sure the process of doing it is fun and exciting.

  11. If you suddenly have some spare time on a weekend, what you usually most WANT to do is:

  a. ...contact several friends and see if there is something fun going on.

  b. ...have some quality time with one or a just a few people.

  c. ...get a number of important things done on your TO DO list.

  d. ...focus your energy on one specific hobby or project.

  12. You want to buy a special gift for a new friend that you don’t know very well. You are most likely to:

  a. Buy the first thing you see that you intuitively think they would like.

  b. Carefully find just the right thing, after much comparison-shopping.

  c. Buy the same special gift you always buy for special people.

  d. Get someone else to buy the gift, or just give your friend some money.

  13. Which description most fits you?

  a. Hard working and ambitious

  b. Animated and gregarious

  c. Focused and efficient

  d. Cooperative and gentle

  14. Most of the time, when working, you prefer:

  a. To do your job quietly on your own.

  b. To be an integral part of a team working together.

  c. To influence the team in new and creative directions

  d. To be the leader and structure-maker for the team

  15. When the phone rings do you

  a. ...answer it immediately and talk at length.

  b. ...look forward to the call, but wait a few rings before answering.

  c. ...deal with whoever it is quickly and efficiently.

  d. ...hope someone else will answer it.

  16. Your favorite type of clothing to wear:

  a Something comfortable, practical and low key.

  b. A unique ensemble that makes a statement.

  c. An expensive-looking power outfit.

  d. Something easy-going and nice.

  17. Which genre of fiction to you most prefer:

  a. Mystery, documentary or science fiction

  b. Feel-good story or romance

  c. Epic, historical or action

  d. Comedy, psychological thriller, glitzy

  18. Which is more admirable:

  a. The ability to organize and be methodical.

  b. The ability to take charge in a chaotic situation.

  c. The ability to motivate others to succeed.

  d. The ability to make people feel comfortable and included.

  19. In terms of comedy, I most closely identify with people who can:

  a. …tell a heartwarming, funny story.

  b. …tell a good joke.

  c. …create great characters through movement, voice, costume, etc.

  d. …tell a witty one-liner, pun, or wordplay.

  20. If a conflict arises between a friend and I, my first reaction is to:

  a. …make sure they understand my position on things.

  b. …make sure the relationship doesn’t get damaged.

  c. …avoid that person for a while.

  d. …find a compromise, where we both get at least part of what we want.

  Communication Style Quiz - Answers

  Circle the answers you chose. Then, count the number of A’s, D’s, N’s, and C’s you have at the bottom

  1.             a. D           b. N           c. A           d. C
  2.             a. N           b. D           c. A           d. C
  3.             a. D           b. A           c. C           d. N
  4.             a. N           b. C           c. A           d. D
  5.              a. N           b. A           c. D           d. C
  6.             a. C           b. A           c. N           d. D
  7.             a. A           b. N           c. C           d. D
  8.             a. N           b. C           c. A           d. D
  9.             a. D           b. N           c. A           d. C
  10.            a. N           b. A           c. C           d. N
  11.            a. D           b. N           c. D           d. C
  12.            a. D           b. N           c. C           d. A
  13.            a. A           b. D           c. C           d. N
  14.            a. C           b. N           c. D           d. A
  15.            a. D           b. N           c. A           d. C
  16.            a. C           b. D           c. A           d. N
  17.            a. C           b. N           c. A           d. D
  18.            a. C           b. A           c. D           d. N
  19.            a. N           b. A           c. D           d. C
  20.            a. A           b. N           c. C           d. D

  Total A’s _____

  Total D’s ______

  Total N’s ______

  Total C’s ______

  Total should come to 20

  Read on about the various Communication styles. Keep in mind, the descriptions that follow are extreme examples to illustrate how they differ. Most people are a combination of the four styles, and some people are so unique, they don’t fit into any quadrant. Use the descriptions simply as a guideline to help you see how workplace communications can be greatly affected by an individual’s style

  Demonstrators

  Demonstrators are people-oriented, fast-paced and enthusiastic. They usually have more open and casual body language. They tend to be animated and outgoing, and prefer an informal atmosphere. Demonstrators can be outrageous, spontaneous, excitable and sociable. They ideas people who like to be in the limelight. If over-balanced in this style some weaknesses may show up such as being unreliable, self-centered, overly optimistic and indiscriminate.

  How to recognize Demonstrators

  They tend to:

  • be somewhat disorganized

  • have trouble being on time and keeping track of details

  • wear bright colors

  • sit in an open posture

  • take the initiative in the conversation

  • laugh easily and loudly

  • are fun-loving

  • like to talk about themselves

  Types of professions where you find many Demonstrators

  • Salesperson

  • Trial Lawyer

  • Entertainer

  • Public Relations Officer

  • Advertising Executive

  • Social director

  Famous people who are predominantly Demonstrators

  Steve Martin

  Carol Burnett

  Robin Williams

  Jim Carey

  Lucille Ball

  Jerry Lewis

  Elvis Presley

  Zig Ziglar

  Pierre Trudeau

  Marilyn Monroe

  Charlie Chaplin

  Assertors

  Assertors are fast-paced and direct, like Demonstrators, but are more task-oriented, than people-oriented. They tend to be hard working, ambitious, leader types. They are good at making decisions quickly and efficiently. They are goal-oriented, assertive and confident. Assertors are the take-charge people who let nothing stop them. If over-balanced in this style some weaknesses may show up such as being too impatient, competitive and judgmental.

  How to recognize Assertors

  They tend to:

  • like timeliness and efficiency

  • look and appear powerful and formal

  • sit in an erect posture

  • be highly discriminating in many areas (people, opportunities, food, etc.)

  • laugh less frequently than demonstrators, maintain a more serious demeanor

  • take a leadership role in most situations

  • ask pointed or challenging questions

  • have strong opinions and creative ideas to share

  Types of professions where you find many Assertors

  • Corporate CEO

  • Politician

  • Stockbroker

  • Lawyer

  • Hard-driving newspaper reporter

  • Independent consultant

  • Drill sergeant

  • Film/TV Director

  • Entrepreneur

  Famous people who are predominantly Assertors

  Jonathan Winters

  Bea Arthur

  Joan Rivers

  John Cleese

  Muhammed Ali

  Carroll O’Connor

  Ed Asner

  Clint Eastwood

  Candace Bergen

  George C. Scott

  David Letterman

  Margaret Thatcher

  Contemplators

  Contemplators are task-oriented like Assertors. However they are more indirect and slow-paced. Contemplators tend to be analytical, detail-oriented, thinker types. They are persistent, good problem solvers, and pride themselves on their orderliness and accuracy. Often seen alone, they tend to have quiet, low-key personalities. If over-balanced in this style some weaknesses may show up such as being too withdrawn, rigid, closed-minded, and overly pessimistic.

  How to recognize Contemplators

  They tend to:

  • wear conservative, simple, functional clothing

  • sit in a closed posture

  • keep to themselves

  • not initiate conversations, wait for you to do that

  • take copious notes

  • maintain meticulous organization

  • stay serious, rarely laugh

  • like to hear facts, figures, statistics and proof

  Types of professions where you find many Contemplators

  • Accountant

  • Secretary

  • Bookkeeper

  • Repair person

  • Engineer

  • Draughtperson

  • Electrician

  • Plumber

  • Jeweller

  • Scientist

  Famous people who are predominantly Contemplators

  Albert Einstein

  Rick Moranis

  Steven Wright

  Woody Allen

  Leonard Nimoy

  Paula Poundstone

  Deepak Chopra

  Victor Borge

  Carl Sagan

  Al Gore

  Angela Lansbury

  Narrators

  Narrators are slow-paced and indirect like Contemplators, but they are more people-oriented like Demonstrators. They are warm, friendly, gentle and cooperative. They highly value relationships over goals. They are good at listening, have a sweet temperament, and tend to be open-minded. Most people find them to be loving, and emotionally intuitive. If over-balanced in this style it can show up as overly meek and easily sidetracked.

  How to recognize Narrators

  They tend to:

  • come across as very accommodating and helpful

  • wear casual, simple clothing, nothing too loud

  • take the initiative to create relationships, like to both talk and listen

• have pictures of family on their desk

• laugh quietly and often (but sometimes they’re laughing just to be polite)

• show gratitude easily

Types of professions where you find many Narrators

• Counselor

• Teacher

• Minister

• Human Resources Manager

• Nurse

• Social Worker

Famous people who are predominantly Narrators

Mary Tyler Moore

Bill Cosby

Jean Stapleton

• Tags:

• eye contact

• communication skills

• body language