How to help a co-worker who is being bullied

Being bullied is terrible experience. It can make you lose your self-confidence and can seriously affect your mental health. If you are aware that a co-worker is being bullied, particularly if it is by someone you come into contact with, there are a number of things that can be done to help.

Reach out

It may be tempting to keep your head down and not get involved. You may be concerned that the bully will turn on you if you do. Certainly, if this is the case, then you may want to be very subtle in your approach, but a few kind words of support is the least that you can do to help your bullied co-worker. Let them know that you are there to talk if they need to. Try and help them out where possible and keep an eye on them - if they are constantly disappearing to the toilets and returning with puffy eyes, then they could be heading for depression.

Agree to support your co-worker

Your co-worker may resist your support at first. Bullied people are often deeply ashamed and angry with themselves for not being able to cope. Be gentle with them and keep on trying to speak to them. Hopefully, barriers will eventually be broken down, especially if they have nowhere else to turn. Let them know that you are happy to help them in any way that you can. Take them out of the office for lunch or drinks after work if they are too afraid to talk at work. This may simply be helping them complete a task so that they are less likely to incur the wrath of the bully. Or it may be suddenly appearing whenever the bully is near to their prey.

Make a list of times and situations

Ensure that your co-worker starts to make a list of all the times that the bully approaches them, including what was said and done. You should also do this. A witness is always useful, particularly if you later have to back your co-worker up on a complaint. If you are really concerned with the level of bullying, you may want to try to record what goes on. Remember though that this is an extreme measure that can only be used for your own records or to prove to your bosses that the bullying is taking place - it is almost certainly not legally admissable, nor should it really be required if you act as a witness.

Speak to the bully

This is another option that you should consider carefully before acting. Depending on your situation, it may or may not be a good move. If you are senior to the bully or are confident in your position in the company, then you could speak to them privately. An accusation is not a good idea, but you could offer to mediate, saying that you have noticed that there is a problem between the two parties and that you would like to try and resolve the issue. The bully may have reasons for his/her behaviour and they may not have realised how they are affecting the other person. If you are worried about the repercussions, then it may be best to keep quiet.

Report the person in question

If the situation doesn't seem to be improving, despite your advice and support, then it is time to report the bully. Ideally, your co-worker should do the reporting themselves; however, if they are reluctant to do the deed, then you should consider doing it yourself. Bullying is not good for company morale and your bosses should know about it. They will hopefully act immediately and try to resolve the issue. If they don't, there could be scope for legal action. This is definitely something that your co-worker will have to do for themselves, although you can always support them by helping them find out how to go about it, for example.

There are too many bullies in this world, and they get away with too much because most people are afraid of them, or simply don't want to get involved. However, think about how you would feel in the same situation. Don't watch someone be broken down when you can do something, even if it is only silent support, to help.