is He Flirting With Her?!

Is He Flirting With Her ?

It’s a typical Monday at school: the general student body is tired, the classes seem to drag on forever, and there is not a person in school today who would not rather be somewhere else. Girl A stops by her locker at the end of lunch to pick up her homework due next period. As she is busy looking for the elusive assignment that she knows she completed last night, the assignment she currently can not find but must be somewhere in her locker (if she wants to avoid a face-down with her cranky fifth period teacher), a voice interrupts her increasingly more panicked thoughts. She spins around, and sees Him. The boy who has exchanged the occasional greeting with her, who she has noticed every time they passed in the hallways, but who has never tried to hold a real conversation with her—until now. They chat until the lunch bell rings. Then he goes his way, and she hers, completely forgetting about that homework assignment that was oh-so-vital-to-her-life just five minutes before.

So what was all that? As Girl A floats to class on Cloud Seven, her mind is probably engrossed in that last smile he flashed at her, that last wink he sent her way, the witty banter they exchanged so easily with a noticeable lack of awkward moments. One single coherent thought repeats itself in her head on an endless track: Was he flirting with me? So…was he? There is no simple answer to this simple question. As he walked away, was he as surprised as she was at how well those last five minutes of lunch went? Or was he congratulating himself on a job well done? Could he currently, at this moment, be of the opinion that that conversation was nothing more than a quick hello-goodbye? And who’s to say that there isn’t a Girl B, or a Girl C, or a Girl D, E, F, G, in the picture also?

This leads to Rule Number One of flirting: when trying to figure out whether or not a boy is trying to flirt, consider the type of guy he is. If a nice guy does nice things for a girl, chances are he can’t help it. If, however, a boy who dates a different girl every week starts dropping so many clever lines that it is nearly impossible for a girl not to trip over those pretty words and fall for him, that is when it becomes obvious there is a ninety percent chance he isn’t serious. It’s when a boy who is normally considered cold and antisocial starts showing a soft spot for a girl that things get interesting, or when a boy who never usually talks to girls unless he is forced to do so at gunpoint begins to call a certain girl day and night. Basically, when a boy obviously singles a girl out continuously, that is when a girl’s flirting radar should give her a little nudge to start paying attention.

When it comes to flirting, there is a point that desperately needs to be remembered at all times: two people who are dating do not flirt. Repeat: two people who are dating do NOT flirt. Reword: flirting is what a dating couple does not do. This is the Law of Flirting. A boyfriend and a girlfriend can do quite a lot. They can cuddle, they can romance each other, they can fall in love with each other all over again every single day, but they do not flirt . It is not reasonable to suggest that a boy and a girl who are dating each other still need to flirt with each other. Flirting requires an air of mystery. This mysterious atmosphere is what brings all the anticipation and nervousness that comes with flirting, and that, in the end, is half the fun. Mystery is what allows two people to flirt in the first place; it is what allows a single touch, glance (or, in Girl A’s case, a wink), or word from Person One to seem as though it is a hint of a hidden attraction not yet revealed, a truth that is buried beneath the surface like treasure that can be found if Person Two is willing to look hard enough. So it should be obvious now why a couple does not flirt . If a boy and girl are dating, the attraction is pretty much out in the open air between them. There is no hidden truth, no air of mystery. Flirting can only occur between two people who still have much to reveal about their feelings for each other.

So maybe Girl A needs to calm down and think about more than just those five minutes of talk between her and Him. True, the air of mystery required for flirting to take place is present here. But she may want to take his personality into account. Does he usually start conversations with people at random? Is he the kind of guy who flirts with everyone equally, and therefore, really flirts with nobody at all? Such as it is, Girl A should probably get off her Cloud Seven of immortal and everlasting love for the time being and lessen the chance of being knocked back onto Earth by harsh reality sometime later. After all, flirting is a part of life.