Mirror Personality, is it an asset or not?

Some things are so new and some are as old as the hills and twice as dusty.  No, I am not making light of a clouded situation, but I was first initiated into the mirror personality by marriage.  Yes, I married a man I knew for 6 months, but many people know a  person less than that and are still married today.  I am, unfortunately not one of the married ladies anymore.  When the unusual things happened, I first thought it was me who was creating some awful circumstance of everything.

Let me start at the beginning so you can relate anything I might say to what you are living or are about to accept for your life.  I met Carl through a mutual friend. We talked on the phone for a month since there was a 5 hour driving trip between us with winter conditions not looking better for that time. We both decided that would be best.  NO, I said it might be wiser for us to get to know each other better and let the winter roads govern our first meeting. He agreed. I kept emailing and he answered in a day or two.  Carl went phesant hunting and did not send me a note that he would be gone for a week. I deleated him from my address book. He came back to civilization and emailed me. I added him to my address book and said nothing. Nothing was said to me about me possibly wondering where the dickens he went. In conversation I found out he was out for the birds.

The spring thaw arrived and I thought twice about driving alone on still snow covered roads. I opted to fly to meet Carl. He thought that was a good idea. I asked him if he would pick me up at the airport and he agreed.

Do you see a pattern of me doing, saying and suggesting and Carl agreeing with it all too?  This is not simply something to dismiss.  Two heads rarely go on the exact wave length.  When they do, there is potential danger. Not always, but there is a margin of danger.

We met and he was hiding behind several people. I actually approached one man thinking it was Carl, when Carl stepped out to greet me.  Shyness in a 50 plus man is unusual.

We dated for 2 months when he asked me to marry him. Carl had been married 5 times and only told me of 3 of them. I learned about the others when we took marriage counseling sessions together at my suggestion. The pre marital counseling days were viewed a nonsense by Carl.  He said he just wanted to marry me and get on with life. I reflect back now that he might have been having a difficult time holding things together much longer, so if the wedding day came, there would be relief.

During our 6 months dating, I got some of the most beautiful flowers I had ever seen. I was lavished with presents, notes  and lots of shows of affection.  My doors were opened, his hand was offered as we walked, my coat was held and he smiled a lot at me. He treated me as I always wanted to be treated.   I did many of the kind, gentle, giving attentions to him as well. I have all my life, so that came easy with a person I truly loved.

We were married and it was as if a sheet was dropped from the sky covering my nice guy. For a month I thought of what I could and did do to create the downfall of my kingdom.  When I went to a counselor for help, that is when I was told about the mirror personality.  I was told by a licensed, professional marriage counselor with many years of experience and degrees with the words to back all that up too, that this was classic mirror personality.

During many sessions, I found out a person with this personality does what the other person wants, gives them everything they like, is just about their servant on bended knee, until the time is up for them to reveal the true self.  Up until that veil lifting event, the person is only mirroring the person they are working on gaining the affections of in their life.

Then and only then, when the core of the person is known will a person actually see the true being. All the rest was a play with acts that were followed.