Loving Your Spouse With Gratitude: One Secret to Marital Bliss

Two nights ago, as I was relaxing at the couch in our living room with my five month old daughter, my husband made a casual comment on how beautiful and sexy I was. Without thinking I made a hasty response by saying, “Honey, thank you but I think that beauty and sexiness you’ve seen in me are gone long time ago. You must be very tired, you can’t see right!” It was too late for me to realize that my words hurt my partner’s feelings. He turned away with a downcast face.

After marriage and after giving birth, some women’s self-esteem commonly spiraled down, mine included. Physically exhausted due to the demands of marriage life and motherhood, I have very little time taking care of myself physically. On the night that my significant other gave me his adulations, I was far from being beautiful and sexy. At least that was how I felt. My hair was a mess (I haven’t ran a comb to it all day), my eyes were puffy (due to sleepless nights of caring for a teething baby), the house dress I was wearing was not only unflattering due to its size, it also had blotches of baby food spills on it. Most of all, I felt so heavy just reclining on the sofa. I was wondering how my body couldn’t stop accumulating extra pounds everyday which is very frustrating. In short, I considered myself fat, ugly, and overworked. Unconsciously, I felt so unattractive at that moment that I consider my husband’s kind and loving remark as a joke! Fortunately, it doesn’t take much effort to appease my spouse’s sadness. A sincere apology plus a loving embrace and a kiss planted on his lips always melt the clouds away. In less than an hour, we were happy once again and talking about how our day was. How thankful I am for having a husband like him!

In the heart of our relationship, we always value gratitude. In the above incident, even if I wasn’t sure if my spouse was truthful in his comment to me, I still managed to thank him. It just came automatically out of habit. Being grateful for loving each other and affirming that everyday works magic. It helps us make it through during difficult times and keeps the bonds between us strong and intact.
Happiness in marriage doesn’t depend on the material possessions that you have accumulated, although they are necessary part of living a comfortable life with your family. You need to cultivate the love, the passion, and the commitment you have for each other by watering it with gratitude. Plenty, bountiful, and lots of it every moment that you can.

Here are some ways you can show gratitude to your significant other on a daily basis. We practice them because we believe in them. I trust that there are more things you can do for your spouse that are unique and creative. The possibilities are endless.

Wife to Your Husband

1. Lend an ear when he is talking about how his day went even if you are uninterested or busy. Just doing so makes him feel heard and important.
2. Accept and believe his compliments. There is no better feeling you can give to your spouse than to accept his words as true. It boosts his confidence in a significant way.
3. Say I love you always and mean it. Each time you see him, let him know. When he calls, part with these magic words. Or when you are apart, find other ways to relay the message that you love and care about him. It’ll strengthen him and fill his heart with joy and gratitude for having you in his life.
4. Give him some “me” time at least few minutes a day when he needs it. This brief moment is very important for your spouse to recharge and be in touch with his self. It’s one of the best that you can do to keep him happy and feel loved.
5. Once in a while, do something different for him. Make an everyday routine a little bit special. For example, if you usually cook dinner for him when he got home, how about preparing his favorite food with a little bit of twist? Or change a routine for a day? If you usually take shower by yourself when he’s not home, how about you wait and take shower together? Being creative in showing your gratitude to your spouse magnifies your love for him a hundred times.

Husband to Your Wife

Same ways as above but the other way around and many more…