How to cope with adult children moving back in with parents, with a child, and a pet

How to Survive your adult kid moving back home..with children.. pets   grandpa and kidlet, soon to be roommate

Picture it, quiet dinner with the family, you are sitting at the table, enjoying coffee and slices of cake that your daughter brought, your favorite kind of cake too. Her child, your loving granddaughter has been giving you hugs and kisses, and has asked if she could sit near you at the table, and even asked you to read her, the book she brought after dinner. Hmmmm what is wrong with this picture?

I'm ok with the dinner, we all have to eat and many times do it together. Your daughter is a fine baker..now. that one time the oil and water mix up happened was years ago...how could a cake be shorter than the batter that went in the oven? But reading the kid a story in lieu of being on the computer and Girls Go Games, which has an icon on the header and in favorite places. And the looks... there are looks going on between people...and not me. Quick reflection on past conversations with daughter have me adding up circumstances, and now, it's coming together. Clearing my throat I finally say...So, how long will it be for? 

Things You'll Need: patience love kindness forgiveness having your adult kid read this Find out a few details. You need to ask questions. And, a lot of the answers you may already know depending on the relationship you have with your offspring. Ok, I'm saying daughter from now on, because I have one. If you have a close relationship, are in contact with your child, you may already know there were signs, warning signs that had you alerted to trouble ahead.

Was there a problem with her job, cost cutting measures are hitting almost every level of every type of business out there. How long on job and job performance is a big part of decisions. And,relationship issues may also be a valid reason, emotional/physical abuse is something no one of either sex should be exposed to. This is something that can happen in the blink of an eye, possibly nothing new to them, however new information to you. And it would not have been new to the child(ren)who had lived with it.

Another big reason could be finances. She may have a job, but the state of rent, food, utilities, credit cards, clothing for her and the children and depending on their ages, daycare, things mount up fast. Is she a single parent? Is the credit problem because of carelessness or living beyond her means? Is shopping a fact of daily life, and she knows her visa card, expiration date and security code on the flip side of the card as well as she knows her phone number.... big issue.

Whatever the reason, ground rules need to be set up at the beginning. Write down what is to be expected of the new roommates. New people in a household brings new angles to your life. Figure out in advance a schedule for when laundry will be done, they will be doing their own... Food can be kept separate, but the easiest is to combine forces, make one dinner and figure out a monthly food bill. Most families have cell phones, so that using your phone shouldn't be a problem. The extra people will change your utility bills, water bills and snacks. Keeping their area is their job. If overflow happens in the, say, living room, they are to pick up what ever is out there. No fuss, just a gentle reminder will be ok. If you have the extra space with an over the garage apartment that would be perfect for this struggling family. This isn't any easier on them. Your child has grown up with the intent to be independent and life threw them a whopper of a flat.

With work on both sides, with good luck it will work

Remember their current ages, and treat accordingly, not their ages, 20 years ago, they have passed that time, and are adults, who need your help. Just keep that in mind. And kids, parents have rights, and have lived on their own for a while now, be understanding, you are cramping their style too. It has to work, both ways. And, it can work both ways. Remember it is not forever, and there are merits to both sides.

Splitting up the workload will go far to help. don't try to do it alone. It may be your house, but you have assistants now. delegates. When asked by a parent to do something, remember back and do it, their way not the way you have been doing your way. It would just drive your parent crazy and she would want to redo it her way, causing hurt feelings from you and then, frustration and guilt for the mom. Leaving her to think she should have just done it herself. And be very overworked. not the way to go unless there is a separate structure or there is a wing, or family room you can have to be your families place, you have to follow rules biggest thing, be kind to each other. please....