How to teach your children to become responsible adults

Teach them to problem solve.

As your child matures regardless of age, they will become frustrated and ask you to solve their problem. Encourage them to articulate their problem. Ask them what they think the problem is and what they've done to fix it. Have them hang around as they observe how you resolve their problem.

While it is so much easier many times to just do it for them, try to make time when you can to go through these steps. It teaches them critical thinking skills and instills in them both how to communicate the problem and forces them to think about possible resolutions. As the child gets older, have them work through problems themselves. For example, if they have a game console problem- have them read the manual. They should make meaningful effort to solve some of their everyday problems.

Have them maintain their grades.

School is a huge part of a child's life. Make sure they are doing their best. What is determined as your child's best is defined only by you and your child's ability. Don't let your child become lazy or settle for less than what they can do. Likewise recognize when a child stretches to achieve more and falls short. If your child takes an honors math class and gets a C when he could have gotten an A in a regular math class, praise them for striving for more. Risk for betterment should be acknowledged.

Teach them to respect others and their possessions.

As school often teaches, encourage your children to respect others sense of space. Children need to learn boundaries and what is acceptable at home is not acceptable in everyone's home. Teach them to respect other's personal space and possessions. If they borrow, make sure they return it to where they found it. If they open candy, they should throw out the wrapper. If they borrow someone's toy, they should treat it gently and so forth...

Encourage them to be a good friend.

Teach your children to be kind. Talk to them about what they watch on TV and discuss good and bad friend behaviour. Talk to them about the reality of mean and petty behaviour. Children cannot be friends with everyone and there will be times when that is not possible. Explain that even if you are not friends, it does not mean you are enemies. Learning different types of friends and acquaintances is important.

Let natural consequences occur.

This of course depends on age and severity. We don't want our children in harms way and we often try to shelter them from learning things the hard way. As children get older, especially into the teenage years, we need to let them face some natural consequences. When your child waits to do their homework and stays up until 4 am doing it, I would still make them follow through on their next day activities. Or if they are late to school because of this, I would not write a note excusing their tardiness.

Teach them household pragmatics.

Most kids will not grow up and have built in laundresses and cleaning help. Your child will have enough changes in college, they don't need to learn how to time manage cooking, laundry and cleaning for themselves too.

As your child grows have them learn some of these skills. When they are little, they will enjoy helping you with cooking, laundry etc. Foster some of these interests. As they get older you will be met with resistance but have them do some of these things for themselves.

As they learn math- explain the role of money.

As your child matures, have them learn how money is obtained, the roles that it plays and that it is limited. Explain financial choices and encourage them to understand how you prioritize how money is spent. When your child gets older, tell them what modern things cost. Give them a sense of real dollars and cents. As your child nears the completion of high school, explain checking accounts, credit cards and credit ratings.

Lead by example.

Don't be a do-as-I-say-and-not-as-I-do parent. Set a good example. If they don't always listen to your words, maybe they will learn by your actions.