Marx and Smith

Karl Marx

Karl effing Marx. I don’t speak German. I don’t plan on learning anytime soon. I seriously doubt that I’ll be learning to write it anytime soon. I just wish they’d do something about this effing vampire that keeps trying to crawl out of the grave and swallow the world.

I feel like I’m constantly dealing with dial-a-derelict. Dial their number, and you get an idiot. Dial another of their free numbers, and you get his French brother: Karl effing Marx! It would have been too easy just to send over some musicians in the nineteenth century to play Beethoven, Bach, and Mozart; no, they had to send over the dynamic duo of stupidity: Karl Marx and his brother, Karl Effing Marx.

One more day with this idiot!! It would be too easy to dwell with one of the great ones in spirit, Abe Lincoln, to think of how profound an idea he had when he admitted that things were beyond his control. “I readily admit that the course of events is beyond my control”, or something like that, is what he said as the Civil War in the U.S. raged. A house divided cannot stand, he said. Perhaps he wasn’t the most original guy in the history of ideas, but at least he wasn’t Karl Effing.

Ze Durgenfried es de zurgenfried. Profound? You want more? Ok, baby, try this!! De Scmittdervotten schambergotten de gurtenblischt.

Coalesce with that for a while, while I try to find something to read besides Karl Effing!@!  It’s nothing personal, but at best, he was one of a couple hundred philosophers that made a difference over the last 2000 years. Put it in the French vernacular. Try Madison. Try Hamilton.

[removed]// [removed] Try the latest graffiti on the bathroom wall at your local Public Library for all I care, but give violent revolution by the Proletariat (and many other of your favorite sha-na-na’s) a rest!!!!!!! It’s a bit like reading a book 1000 times, or watching a movie even more than that. I’m sick of it, so give it to somebody else! Or, let me translate that into my favorite German quote: Ginterbotten vonderschbobt, ze dinterschbeckenmittenborscht wa world!!!!! Too much? Then try one of my favorites from Karl Effing: “Indersbut Eiffel lochtenmoffer”. Marx said something about economic determinism, and the inevitability of violence by the Proletariat. Perhaps it doesn’t translate. Perhaps it shouldn’t have been translated. Maybe it should be filed under “BGD” for Bad German Diplomacy. Next time, just send Bach, Mozart, or Beethoven. Adam Smith Adam Effingham Smith. For the truly uneducated, Adam Effingham Smith is Adam Smith’s brother. Born in Paris shortly after Adam Smith’s death, he was a shame to the Scottish throne, so he stayed in Paris, where he lived and died. Like his brother, Adam Effingham was raised to appreciate the finer things, in both taste and fashion, and wrote many superb treatises on economic theory, practice and education. You can find many of his outstanding works at the NYPL (and for those of you who do not like acronyms, try finding it at the APLJACKA) under SA for “Smith, Adam”, or SAE for “Smith, Adam Effingham”.

Smith’s treatise – Adam Smith, that is, not Adam Effingham – is well-known: “The Wealth of Nations”. It is one of the greatest bla-bla-bla’s in the history of bla-bla-bla-ism. If I have to read it again, I’m going to personally dig his brother Adam Effingham out of the grave and puke on him! His work, like many other comparable works, can be found at Wal-Mart. If you want his work, or any other dimestore trash like that of your favorite TV evangelist, head for Wal-Mart.

His work wasn’t that bad the first time I read it. Nor was Marx’s work that bad when I read it initially. But after I’ve read them so much, it’s a bit like eating TV dinners for the four millionth time. Enough is enough!

Writing in 1776, the year the American Revolution began, Smith set forth some of the basic tenets of capitalism. Marx came along later, and was something of a response to Smith, John Locke, and others.

Humor me. When I need something besides Rousseau, Voltaire, Diderot and Montesquieu, I’ll let you know. Margaret Atwood would be better. Sister Teresa would even be a welcome reprieve. Lest anyone think I’m being too critical, I encourage you, as a matter of intellectual freedom, to go and read all of these thinkers.

But for the time being, I’m sick of Adam Smith. We fought a Cold War over this. That war ended almost twenty years ago, but such Great Thinkers such as Bush and Obama can’t seem to get over it. Do me a favor. Get over it!

“Get over it?”, you may be thinking to yourself. How? Laugh. Spill a drink over yourself and call yourself a Long Island Tea.

 Give me a “G”!

G!

Give me a “E”!

E!

Give me a “T”!

T!

Give me a “O”!

O!

Give me a “V”!

V!

Give me a “E”!

E!

Give me a “R”!

R!

Give me a “I”!

I!

Give me a “T”!

T!

What do ‘ya got: GET OVER IT!!