Broaden the Size of Your Back Porch – Back Porch Tales Part 5 of 7

Determined to break the bonds of fear and to broaden the size of my back porch, I explored nearby nature spots. As I walked and savored my growing sense of safety and well-being, it felt as if each aspect of nature had a wonderful story to tell.

“Depart not from the path which fate has you assigned.”
- Chinese Fortune Cookie

Introduction:

When I was eleven, a girl of my own age, Betty Jean Necessary, was tragically murdered while walking in the woods. I was so traumatized that I no longer indulged in my favorite pastime of exploring without great fear. Years later, I decided it was time to broaden the size of my back porch. I drove to parks and other places of interests. Following my instincts and inner wisdom, not only did I feel safe, I found that each aspect of nature had a wonderful story to share. Please enjoy the fifth part in my series of Deb’s Back Porch Tales.

May 1, 1999
James Creek Trail to Jakes Gap in Great Smoky Mountains

As you walked upon this trail, you heard the not-so-distant sound of cascades. Finally, you came to the clearing and beheld your first clear view of what you had only heard up to this point. Just so, as you and others walk your life’s path, you may hear indications that you are on the right trail, but it may take minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, or even years before you get visual proof that truly you were charting the correct course. This is part of learning to trust your instincts and even more importantly, trusting God’s plan for you. You will get little or big clues in your life. But you must take it on faith that you will not get visual proof until the time is right. Simply walk, pray, and trust in the Universal, ever-present, omniscient love of God. Trust in peace.

May 1, 1999
James Creek Trail to Jakes Gap in Great Smoky Mountains

First the sound, then the sight of this captured your attention. Down this squarish rock face, constant rivulets of water flows, landing on the moss in this shallow ditch. It made a melodious sound that brought you a sense of pleasure.

The greatest wisdom we have to share is even though you cannot see the source of this seemingly inexhaustible supply of water rivulets, this doesn’t mean that the source isn’t truly there. You must not only reinforce yourself with the reminder that the Universe has provided your every true need (not to be confused with wants), you also must simply take this on trust. More than trust, you need to not just believe, but KNOW that God is. That is the lesson of this picture.

May 1, 1999
James Creek Trail to Jakes Gap in Great Smoky Mountains

As you walked further up the trail, you beheld us. Your thought: it had the look of an island paradise. We are aware of your passion for waterfalls and seeing the source of those waterfalls. Thus far in your life, you have experienced the immediate source but not yet the source behind the immediate source as is evidenced by this photo. It makes it no less beautiful, no less magical. It simply is a reminder that the ultimate source of all we see, touch, smell, taste, hear, and experience in any manner is God. God is all in all. God is the ultimate being and the ultimate goal and understanding. God provides all that we need, including teachers when we are ready. You do not have to go all the way back to that northern island in Norway to re-experience your spiritual Mecca. Notwithstanding that you still may return there yet; in the meantime, you can have wondrous tastes and sensations and learning of that time practically right in your own backyard. And by broadening the size of your back porch, you are increasing the variety and the flavor of that experience. Adventure with joy. You are always welcome.

May 1, 1999
James Creek Trail to Jakes Gap in Great Smoky Mountains

You’re walking up the trail, speculating about all you will see and where this trail will end. Suddenly, you see a delightfully quaint wooden bridge spanning the mountain stream. You come closer, prepared to cross. Beyond it, you see a further trail, sun-dappled and inviting. It beckons to you: come and explore our length. If you find yourself going too deep or too high or it does not seem to lead you back to your starting point, you can always turn back. Come. There is much for you to see. There are important lessons you can learn. Come. Come. Come.

May 1, 1999
James Creek Trail to Jakes Gap in Great Smoky Mountains

You’re standing on the bridge now. You’re less than halfway across. The water looks delightful from this hawk-like perspective. The sun turns the water into emerald-radiance and churning white foam. Enjoy. Linger as long as you like. There is no hurry. You have plenty of time; in fact, you have all of eternity to enjoy and savor all the wonders and curiosities God placed upon this Mother Earth. It is a method God uses to remind us of His ever-present, ever-abundant, limitless love he holds and maintains for us. What a blessed and a comforting reminder.

Move forward only when you’re ready. You’ll walk this path and increase your understanding at your own pace and time. You have free will in which to track this. You have control of the choices you make. God and His helpers are ever available to you as consultants to help and assist you in making the most growth-provoking and beneficial choices, even if the results don’t demonstrate this right away. But with each choice you make, there will come a time and space where you will look back and state, “Ah, now I understand. Thank you for that great lesson.” As one of your former Sunday School teachers was heard to say, “There are no mistakes make, only great lessons learned.”

May 1, 1999
James Creek Trail to Jakes Gap in Great Smoky Mountains

You’ve crossed the bridge now. You turn back to view your progress and see the bridge from the other side. It’s all about perspective. There is growth and increasing wisdom contained in that thought. You sit yourself down on your portable stool and enjoy a brief picnic. Now, from this height, you are able to see the bridge from below. New perspective once again. Yet, as you eat, you turn expectantly to view the path ahead. With no map, you have no clear idea whether this is a loop path or one-way to further heights. You check your watch. It states 2:30. You make the decision to walk until 3:30. By then, if you get no clear indication you are circling back to your car, you will have plenty of time to turn back while the sun is still high in the sky. You walk, you enjoy the sights and sounds, yet you question and re-question the wisdom of this choice. As you approach the hour cut-off point, two humans (or could they be angels?) walk toward you. They indicate that this is a multiple-mile one-way trail. You thank them outwardly and God inwardly that your need is satisfied. Your doubts are put to rest. You walk a bit further and then turn back. No regrets. You see sights of great beauty. Low on film, you take no more pictures. Your walk feels peaceful. Your child soul, long deprived of the innocent exploring of years gone by, feels deeply satisfied. What fun you are having on your Debbie-Adventures. Then you begin your 3.3 mile trek back to your car. You know that at least this part of the path you wish to visit again in the fall.

May 1, 1999
James Creek Trail to Jakes Gap in Great Smoky Mountains

Timing is everything! If you were wondering why we directed you to walk as far as you did and then to turn back to re-trace your steps just when you did – know that you would not have seen the deer at all if you had not done things precisely the way it happened. What is the wisdom of the deer? Why did a deer cross your path on this particular day and at this particular time and actually seem to be waiting for you? Just prior to that encounter, what questions were you asking? You were asking yourself how you could reach your students in light of the tragedy at Columbine High School in Littleton, Colorado. You wanted to know how you could convince some of your more combative students that the conflict resolution strategies you are teaching are worthwhile and worth trying. The qualities in deer hold an answer for you.

Please note that love, patience, and compassion are the three keys to deer medicine.

You type these words nearly ten years later, in February of 2009. Even though your questions are different, deer medicine still holds the answer. Now you want to know how do you soothe your mother-in-law when she has those frightening, paranoid delusions that occasionally haunt her as she resides in a nursing home. Whether these delusions are medicine-induced or due to encroaching senility, you are not certain. Her delusions are undeserved. She is much loved and treated like a queen by her caregivers; since usually, she is sweet and loving and filled with a great sense of humor. How do you convince someone they are not in danger or that her son is not being tortured in front of her eyes when she sees visions that are invisible to your eyes? How do you soothe her when terrifying fear takes over her body and her mind? To her, these visions appear frighteningly real? How do you dissuade her that what she thinks she sees and hears is not really happening? How indeed?

To repeat, deer medicine holds the key. The answer lies with love, patience, and compassion.

To your limiting mind, the task to soothe and teach students that it pays to exercise their free will to use conflict resolution strategies and techniques and the task to soothe a nursing home resident that she is totally free of danger and convince her that she is absolutely safe because she truly is safe and in a protected, caring environment sometimes feels insurmountable. Deer do not live their lives in fear for what might happen in the future, even a future as far away as five minutes from now. They are totally present in the moment of what is happening at that very instant. They exercise caution. They feed, explore, and sleep, living constantly in the now.

With students, you plant seeds. You expose them to an alternate way of viewing things. You guide and help them explore what they think and feel about different issues. You teach them how to use various tools, strategies, and techniques to deal with conflict in a protected environment. Then, when they are exposed to conflict as part of their daily existence, in that split second between being provoked and their move to react, they might recall a more positive way to deal with the conflict situation than the method they might have elected to use in the past. They have free will; however, they are a bit more empowered to perhaps choose the option of dealing with the situation in a more win-win fashion. All you can do is love them, be patient with them, and have compassion for what they are dealing with throughout their life. It is totally up to them whether or not to use a positive strategy or a negative one. Even if they give in to negativity at their current age, perhaps, as the years pass, they will finally choose to deal with their interactions in a more positive manner. All you can do is plant the seed and nurture the seed within the classroom setting. After that, you must release the outcome. The rest is up to them.

With your mother-in-law, deer medicine also needs to be employed. She’s been in and out of the hospital and nursing homes for a year. Now she must live permanently in a nursing home due to Parkinson’s and the fact that she can no longer walk nor care for herself. She has only been a widow for a little over two months. She lost her only daughter years ago to suicide. Her only child left is her son – your husband. Her only grandchild, now grown, lives far away and never calls or writes. Medicaid basically owns her home and takes all of her social security but forty dollars a month. She definitely has reason to feel grief. Because she does not read much nor watch much television, her main pastimes are sitting in her wheelchair, lying in her nursing home bed, dealing with her physical needs, and thinking. She is terrified that she will lose the only family she has left – her son. Her imagination and these delusions sometimes appear to take control of her. How do you soothe her and bring her heart’s ease?

Her son visits her everyday and sometimes twice a day. He brings her delicious food to eat. The nursing home usually serves food that she likes. Her caregivers are tender with her, attentive, and appear to really care about her. Less frequently, she has other visitors like you, her only brother, and friends. You and your husband take her out to eat sometimes and try to talk her into joining you for shopping jaunts and other activities. She gets her pain and nerve medicine thrice a day. She sometimes agrees to take part in the fun activities provided by the Activity Director. She gets physical therapy, occupational therapy, cognitive therapy. They even have a counselor that meets with her once a week. All that can be done on a physical level is being done. Everyone is striving to make her life as pleasant as possible.

You feel great love for your mother-in-law, yet you feel frustrated how stressed your husband gets when she has one of her bad days. He doesn’t know how to soothe her. You don’t know how to soothe him except listen and give love to them both. How can you help heal the situation? Deer medicine of love, patience, and compassion holds the key.

If the scenes we view in nature could talk, what would they say? This is Part 5 of a 7-part series. View the slideshow of the pictures described above: Back Porch Tales Slideshow

Resources:

Chinese Fortune Cookie

Inspired by Michael J. Road’s book titled Talking with Nature: Sharing the Energies and Spirit of Trees, Plants, Birds, and Earth