What is the most frequent cause of divorce?

The most frequent causes of divorce and why they happen in the first place.

The following causes below are the most frequent causes of divorce based on statistical data and most popular reasons cited by those seeking a divorce. It is important to note that most of these causes lead to communication problems and distancing of partners which ultimately decreases the value of the marriage and many times ends in divorce.

1.) Financial- Contrary to public belief, this is in fact the most common cause of divorce. Many couples fail to openly discuss financial situations before marriage such as individual debt, spending habits, salary information, etc. This can lead to one partner thinking the couple is living within their means, while the other partner sees the couple as financially spinning out of control. Also many couples fail to establish feelings of who should do the bread-winning or if the task should be split.

A common situation is one from a wife who was socialized to believe the husband is the breadwinner, while the husband beliefs they should share financial responsibilities. It is crucial to form prenuptial agreements prior to marriage because it can protect either partner against financial ruin should the relationship fail.

2.) Infidelity- Obviously this reason is cited quite often and seen as an irreconcilable difference. Many couples work through a cheating occurrence, some couples allow open relationships but in general many marriages fall apart due to infidelity as it greatly blocks the communication pathway between spouses. The following reason is one of many causes of this reason.

3.) Sexual Dysfunction/Lack of Sexual Relationships- Despite many people saying that physical intimacy is not as important as emotional, spiritual, or family intimacy; the fact is that sexual problems or lack of sexuality in a marriage is still a top reason for divorce. As humans we are biological animals and are driven by biological desires and needs to be physically intimate. A common stereotype is that men cite this reason more for their reason for leaving, however women often feel frustrated by a lack of sexual activity or pleasure. If not resolved this issue can lead to infidelity, marital dissatisfaction, and more tension between the partners.

Habituation (ie-boredom) can also occur after the first few months of marriage (and even in relationships) within the bedroom so it seems important to keep sexual intimacy fresh and unique within the relationship. Going hand in hand with lack of sexual intimacy is when one partner is unable to become sexually aroused or has other health problems that limit their desire or ability to become sexually active. If not treated or faced, these problems can be misread by the spouse as sexual disinterest.

4.) Major life changes- Many men cite mid-life crisis as the reason for divorce, but it can also happen in women. Realizing you seek something different in life whether it be in your career, your sex life, or your social life can be a cause of divorce. Unlike the other common causes, this cause is harder to resolve as it really comes down to the idea of saying 'Really, its me and not you.'An internal conflict within a person is one that can not often be attributed to the spouse and thus is harder to resolve.

There are literally hundreds of causes of divorce, but the most frequent causes are those listed above. Sexuality is deep seeded in any relationship and we may not even realize its importance on our decision making and relationship success/failure.