An Amateur Beer Snob's Guide to Beer: The P Beers

What you will find below

The listings below will include the name of the beer, my numerical ranking based upon my own scale of 0.1 to 10.0, and a little of my personal thoughts about each beer.

P Beers

Pabst Blue Ribbon

2.8

Of all the supposedly bad beers, I guess I would rather drink this one than any of the others. The smell is vaguely reminiscent of Old Milwaukee (what is it with these Milwaukee beers?) but the taste is a little better, not as fizzy and a bare touch of sweetness. This is a good bowling alley and pool hall beer.

Paradise Ale

8.4

From the American River Brewing Company of Auburn, California. This is a clean, strong, bitter pale ale. Pale ale fans should not pass this up.

PaulanerHefe-Weizen

6.5

A hefe-weizen is a type of wheat beer that has been conditioned in the bottle. This here beer is brewed and bottled by Paulaner of Munich, Germany. This brew is smooth and has a fruity taste that is cool at first but overpowering after a few drinks; this beer would score much higher if the fruit taste didn't become so strong. A good sipping beer for dessert. You could serve this as wine to non-beer drinkers and I believe they would like it.

PaulanerMunchen Original Munich Premium Lager

6.1

Fruity with a little too much carbonation. Has a hint of sourness halfway down the throat. Comes to us from Munich, Germany.

PaulanerMunchen Salvator Double Bock

6.5

From Munich, Germany. Extremely sweet; too much so, in fact. Smooth with just the barest hint of fruitiness. Not for the weak of stomach.

Peroni

4.3

Actually, this beer's full name is Birra Peroni, but the word Birra is small on the label so I figured more people would look under "P" for this beer than under "B." This beer has that foreign-but-made-for-America's-mass-market flavor. Not great, but it doesn't suck. This drink is made at one of four towns in Italy – Roma, Napoli, Padova or Bari.

Perry's Majestic

4.3

Nothing real special here. Just another medium lager with a little fizz. Ho hum.

Pete's ESP (Extra Smooth Pub) Lager

3.5

It seems the folks at Pete's Wicked got tired of all the premium beer companies trying to take away their customers by making cheap versions of supposedly good beers (the Michelob series of flavored beers comes to mind). Well, here is Pete's revenge - this beer is supposed to be a cheap, watery lager to satisfy even non-beer snob's tastebuds. In other words, this beer is competition for Budweiser and Miller. This beer does what it promises and that's about it. There's too much fizz and the only taste is definitely cheap and watery with a touch of sweetness. Beer snobs have to try this beer at least once just to believe that the people at Pete's Brewing Co. would stoop so low. This beer doesn't rank so low because it's awful - it ranks so low because there's little taste.

Pete's Summer Brew

4.8

The bottle says this is a pale ale with a touch of lemon, but it tastes more like a weak lager. The lemon taste is almost non-existent. Too much fizz. Decent to drink with cigars.

Pete's Wicked Ale

6.1

Apparently this is the beer that started it all for Pete's Wicked back in the 1980s. This beer's taste isn't as robust as the color would make you believe, but it's not a bad beer. Still, it's not anything special today (though it definitely was in the 1980s). This is a good beer for novice beer snobs to start with.

Pete's Wicked Amber Ale

6.7

This drink has a very, very slight fruity taste to it, but it is a hardy, stout drink. Pretty smooth and wet going down.

Pete'sWicked Bohemian Pilsner

7.4

This is kind of strong in color and strong in taste for a pilsner. This has just the right mix of wet and fizz. Smooth going down, but not the first pilsner a novice beer snob should have.

Pete'sWicked Helles Lager

6.2

The creation of this beer was inspired by the lagers of Munich, Germany, according to the label on the bottle. Incredibly honey sweet on the first taste, but then the fizz overpowers the flavor some unless you take a big swallow and hold it on your tongue. Not the best around, but definitely worth tossing back a few.

Pete's Wicked Honey Wheat

6.2

According to Pete's Wicked, you are supposed to swirl this beer in the bottle before you pour it - I did but I don't really know if it helped or hurt. This is a great beer for people who like sweet beers. The froth is also tasty. This brew isn't very strong, except for the honey taste.

Pete's Wicked Maple Porter

6.6

This brew actually tastes like maple syrup, except it's bitter instead of sweet (if that makes sense to you). This brew is so thick it should almost be called a stout instead of a porter, which isn’t a bad thing in my opinion. It has a nice maple smell to it.

Pete'sWicked Multigrain Beer

6.5

The taste is a little too complicated here for novices, but a good brew for beer snobs who are working their way up in beer tasting. This is a sturdy beer. This is a good, standard dark beer. It has a very stoutish taste.

Pete's Wicked Pale Ale

6.3

This is about as typical as a pale ale can get. It's not a bad pale ale, it's just not an overly good one. It's a good thirst quencher.

Pete's Wicked Red Rush

5.5

The bottle calls this an "American Red Ale." It kind of surprises me that Pete's Wicked has stooped to making a red beer; not that there's anything really wrong with red beers, but during the 1990s red beers were usually a gimmick beer that cheap beer makers used to try and make people think their beer was something special (which it usually wasn't; normally it was just another cheap beer with a red label of some kind and non-beer snobs usually thought they were getting something special). Anyway, this brew is definitely stronger than the average red beers sold in the U.S. This brew has a sweet, burnt maple flavor and a hint of spices that almost makes it taste like one of those obnoxious Christmas beers. It goes down a little smoother the more you drink, and by the third or fourth swallow it has lost some of its sweetness and gained a little more burnt maple bitterness. Worth tasting, but I wouldn't recommend it as a regular drinking beer.

Pete'sWicked Springfest

4.1

New as of Winter 1998 to replace Pete's Wicked Mardi Gras. Goes down smooth but the taste is too spicy, almost like many Christmas beers. The label says this is a malt liquor and an amber bock. Bocks are traditionally a strong, full-bodied beer. This brew has the coloring of a bock, but tastes more like a cheap malt liquor.

Pete'sWicked Strawberry Blonde

7.8

I love this beer mainly because it tastes like real strawberries and not candy strawberry flavoring. There's a little sweetness here, but not enough to be overpowering. A strong, frothy drink. This beer goes good with cheese, preferably swiss or cheddar.

Pete's Wicked Winter Brew

6.4

This beer isn't as strong as many winter brews. It's got a light tea smell to it. It's somewhat watery. Stout enough flavor.

Pike Pale Ale

7.8

The Pike Pub and Brewery of Seattle, Washington, makes this beer. This is a little strong for novices. A solid pale ale with just the barest touch of the sourness usually found in India pale ales.

Pilsner Urquell

8.2

From the Czech Republic. The bottle says "The Only Genuine Pilsner," but that's because this stuff is from the city of Pilsen. Light and smooth but goes down with the strongest bitter I've ever tasted in a true pilsner. Unique and worth your time. Light enough that you could enjoy this after mowing the lawn.

Pinkus MuellerOrganic Hefe-weizen

7.6

Extremely smooth without being flat. Light and fluffy. Carbonation and bitterness grow the more you drink, but not a lot.

Pinkus Mueller Organic Munster Alt

7.8

Has a slight vinegar smell if spilled, but the drinking flavor is fruity and light. Vaguely reminiscent of white ales or even lambics. Made by the Pinkus Mueller Brauerei of Munster, Germany.

Portland Haystack Black Porter

6.6

A pretty good porter with a smooth, slightly-maple flavor but a little too much carbonation. Weak enough that experienced beer tasters could sip this all night.

Portland Icicle Creek Winter Ale

6.3

One of the better winter brews because it doesn't have a powerful cinnamon/nutmeg/spices taste. From Portland Brewing Co. of Portland Oregon.

PortlandMacTarnahan's Amber Ale

6.2

Pretty smooth with a nice, coppery "red" taste common to amber ales. A good drinking beer. Would go well with pub food.

Portland Oregon Honey Beer

7.2

Very light. Goes down extremely smooth with a nice honey backtaste (because it's brewed with honey).

Pyramid Apricot Ale

5.7

Light and fruity with a touch of frothiness. The apricot flavor adds a little zing that's worth trying out. From Pyramid Breweries Inc. in Seattle, Washington, and Berkeley, California.

PyramidHefeweizen

7.8

Light enough that a beer snob could sit around and drink this all day (Wait a second! That's what I'm doing!) Still, the flavor is probably too complicated for non-snobs to enjoy. A touch of sweet going in the mouth, a touch of bitter on the way down. A little fizz. A little froth. A pretty good wheat beer with yeast.

Pyramid Pale Ale

7.0

A tad strong and bitter for a pale ale, but goes down easy and wet. Goes well with Tortellini from the can. Goes down a little fruity. Too heavy for casual drinking.

Pyramid Scotch Ale

6.2

Sturdy and sweet like many a good Scotch ale. The problem for me is this: I don't care much for overly sweet beers, so Scotch ales sometimes suffer in my beer ratings. Still, Scottish ales often make a good sipping beer – especially on winter evenings when you're in the mood to drink but not get drunk. Scotch ales can grow on you a bit, but I wouldn't suggest breaking a case out at a party.

Pyramid Snow Cap Ale

4.8

Fairly strong, but the strength dies quickly as you swallow. Sweet with a nutmeggy flavoring, kind of like those nasty winter/holiday brews. A sipping beer that takes some getting used to.

Pyramid Sun Fest

5.3

A light pilsner beer with the barest hint of bitterness while sitting on your tongue. Goes down easy with a touch of light foam (which I often call froth). Nice and neat, but nothing spectacular.

Quote from Frank Zappa

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.

Other Beer Links

The Amateur Beer Snob's Guide to Beer: The R Beers

The Amateur Beer Snob's Guide to Beer: The S Beers

The Amateur Beer Snob's Guide to Beer: The T Beers