Anecdote about Blodes

Lori, a young blonde woman, was seen going into the woods with a small package and a large bird cage. She was gone several days, but finally she returned.

Her friend, Susan, never saw Lori looking so sad. "Heard you went off in the woods for a couple of days. Glad you got back okay. But you look so sad. Why?

Lori said, "Cause I just can't get a man."

Susan replied, "Well, you sure won't find one in the middle of the woods."

Lori said, "Don't be so silly. I know that. But I went in the woods because I needed to find something there that would get me a man. But I couldn't find it."

Susan said, "I don't understand what you're talking about."

Lori replied, "Well, I went there to catch a couple of owls. I took some dead mice and a bird cage."

Susan asked, "So, how is that gonna help you get a man."

Lori answered, "Well, I heard the best way to get a man is to have a good pair of hooters."

A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds."

When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds. "Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?"

The blonde nodded, "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day."

"From hunger, you mean?" asked the doctor.

"No, from skipping."