The marriage blues

                                                       The marriage blues

          ‘Arranged marriage’ continues to be the in-thing  in India even now. Surprisingly, the  highly educated young maidens too  would ask their parents to find a suitable  groom for them, instead of choosing one on their own . The reason is that  many such marriages have ended in divorce due to incompatibility which came to light only after a few months into the union.

          An Indian considers Marriage as a life time bond.  Therefore, one has to be extremely cautious at selecting the right candidate. In this regard the Parents would be the real achievers. The  success rate of arranged marriages is  as much as 75%. 

          In this model, it is the parents of the Boy who would be on the look out for eligible Girls in their neighbourhood. They could be  spotted  in Temple gatherings or Church or some public  functions  or mostly in someone else’s  wedding  reception.  There is a saying that ‘one marriage’ results in many, in that, the women invitees, dressed in their best with moony faces, would capture  the attention of prospective  parents-in-law and that will be the starting point of  a quiet  verification.  If all parameters are met, the  groom’s parents would approach the bride’s parents for a ‘seeing  ceremony’. The aspirants  then  get a chance  to see each other from close quarters  for  some seconds for assessing the suitability of the other.  Looks and first impression would play a major part. It’s almost like ‘love at first sight’.

          Once the participants  give their approval, the parents would gear up and start the negotiations and possibly fix the date of marriage as well.

           In the seeing ceremony if the bride is not a good looking person, she is out even if she has several slender qualities and qualifications. In actual fact, the parents themselves  won’t let  their son see such a specimen at all.

           If so, what happens to the pumpkin faced, pimpled and ugly looking females?
 Bad luck. They have to remain spinsters for life.  No man would accept them.

           But, all that is going to change, I fear.  It had now been officially announced that according to a  recent survey, there are only 1000 women for every 1200 men in India. In some Indian States the ratio is 722  for every 1000 men. This means, that 200-300 men out of every 1000, would not find brides at all.  This imbalance has come about because every  married couple in the past had been opting for sons and the moment they came to know that the baby in your wife’s womb was a girl species, they went in for an immediate abortion.

       What’s the result of this step?  The Girls have become  less in number. If a Man wants to get married, he has to accept any girl who comes by.  He cannot be choosy any longer. Any female would be acceptable  so long as she is healthy and has a reasonable physique.  The looks won’t matter at all.   “Are you young with a proportionate body?”  That’s all men would want, in the unbalanced scenario.

       What if the men to women ratio goes haywire, like 3: 1?  The marriage market then  would go into a spin,  wouldn’t it ?  Women might even  become greedy and accept to take you as the ‘second husband” or even as the third ? Why not? If  in Muslim countries, a man is allowed to have up to 4 wives, why  couldn’t a woman take on  more than one husband in India?  The Govt may even pass a law that any woman could have up to 3 husbands. [Four is one too many, don’t you think?]

         I know she would have  a hard time in bed if she has three H’s.  But it can’t be helped.  She has to bear the brunt.

        Her own standard and style of living would double and treble  up because all the husbands would have to handover their earnings to the wife, who would be the house manager.  

        What is more, an young man would  try to become a candidate of great income;  ordinary- income - types would be  rejected wholesale by the prospective bride.  Mind  you, this is for your second or third position.  To be the first husband, you have to be an extraordinary man with five or six figure salary.

        And in such homes  the wife will  have the last word.  She would, in fact, be the dictator. If the female foeticide  continues, woman could even think of divorcing one of the husbands and take another in his place.
        
         And  here is a piece of advice for the pregnant women.  If the scan tells you that you are bearing a female child, thank God and preserve it.  It’s your real lucky charm.  You don’t even have to spend much money on its education etc.

          Dowry? There would be no question of any man ever asking for a dowry from the parents of a woman. But if you happen to carry a male child….?  May God help you and be ready to spend millions on his education and job and yet with a possibility of  permanent bachelorship.