Kids of Divorce: What to Say to Them During this Painful Time

They are not bad kids but I know it is a child's nature to lie if they feel they will get in trouble. I swore I would never do was talk bad about him in front of her; no matter what my feelings were toward him. Children need to form their own opinion about their father. They will start to believe he moved out because of you and they will hate you for it.

Always make sure your kids understand that whatever happens between mommy and daddy they had nothing to do with it. Tell them over and over again that you love them and that will never change. If you have to repeat it
20 times a day, do it. This step is so important, that they may begin to think you don't love them anymore and they won't tell you.

Your child will have questions and it is very important that you answer them, try not to give too much detail because there are certain things a child doesn't need to know.

I remember my daughter asked me all sorts of questions. She was only 2 at the time and she didn't fully understand why daddy was never going to live with us again. She asked me questions off and on for months.
The one thing I made sure to tell her was, "you didn't do anything wrong and, this was not your fault."

Another very important step that I experienced as well. You must remain calm; no matter what happens
never let them see you get angry. If have to go some where and scream or cry, don't do it in front of them.

Don't expect your children to take sides, they love you both and that would put them in a very uncomfortable position. Talk to them when they are ready but don't force it. A divorce does not need to separate you from your children. This is when they will need you the most.

My daughter had a lot of mixed emotions and I wanted her to talk to me about them rather than keep them in. As she got older she came to terms with the divorce, and she was able to understand that it had nothing to do with her. She never felt unloved or detached from the family. I made sure I surrounded her with people who loved her and daddy was only a phone call away.