How to handle conflicts with your boss

Those of us who have to work for a living are often forced into a situation where we spend hours at a time with colleagues. This can be fine most of the time, but occasionally, personality clashes occur. Most complicated of all is when such a conflict happens with your boss. Here are some tips on what to do if you experience a conflict with your boss.

Think hard before you act

Sometimes when working on a project, it can become a very personal issue. Before you approach anyone else about the problem, try to think objectively about what has been going on. Perhaps you are being too territorial, maybe your boss actually does have a valid point. Write down everything you can think of about the conflict, then sleep on it. You may find that you are much calmer the morning after.

Talk to colleagues

If you are still convinced that your boss is being unfair, then the next move is to talk to your colleagues, preferably one that you can trust and won't immediately report back to your boss. See what they think. They may think that you are being just as unreasonable as your boss; if that is the case, then listen to them and consider what they say. Then again, they may know of other examples of unfair behaviour. If there is no-one at work that you feel you can trust, then talk to friends or family.

Talk to your boss

If you still think it is necessary, then approach your boss. However, before you do so, make sure you know exactly what you want to say. Write it down if necessary. Most of all, don't attack. State your case calmly. Hopefully, this result in a conversation whereby you find a compromise. Sometimes just talking things through can defuse a conflict - you may well find that there is a reason for the bad feeling and are able to start your working relationship over on the right foot.

If the problem persists, approach your boss' superiors

Hopefully, you won't have to go this far, but if the problem does persist, then you may need to consider speaking to your boss' superiors. Again, you will need to be very sure of yourself first, and having everything written down will ensure that they understand the importance that you place on solving the problem. Have some solutions to hand, but be prepared for the fact that your superiors may not agree with you. Don't resort to name-calling or aggressive behaviour.

Consider changing your role

If you are really unable to work through the conflict, then it may be in everyone's best interests if you move to another role or to a different team. This really is something that you need to consider carefully, however - you really don't want to build up a reputation for being a difficult employee if you can help it. Make sure you have done everything possible to resolve the conflict; if your conscious says you have, then put the issue behind you and move on.

Consider changing your job

If you work in a small company, or it is just not possible to move into a different position, then you may need to consider leaving the job for pastures new. Try to keep control of yourself until you have been able to find another job - hopefully you will be able to get a reference from another member of staff, but if you do need a reference from your boss, then at least he/she should be prepared to give you a reasonable one if you haven't completely fallen out.

Seek legal assistance

In the vast majority of situations, this won't be necessary. However, if you consider that you are being unfairly hounded and your boss is acting illegally, it may be worth seeking legal aid to see if it is worth taking the case any further. You will need to consider this option carefully though; if you stay in the job, it could make your life very difficult, if you don't, you could be unemployed for the foreseeable future and you could lose the case.

Conflicts at work are always difficult, but hopefully a little common sense on both parts will be able to resolve the issue. If not, then consider your options carefully; life is just too short to put up with unfair behaviour from your boss.