My Top 4 Love Quotes

"Love means never having to say what else is new." (Betsy Prioleau, "Seductress: Women Who Ravished the World & Their Lost Art of Love")

You know how a splash of icy-cold water to your face and a cup of hot coffee chases your morning grogginess away? In a similar way, our relationships need a jolts here and there to wake us up, a pinch in the fanny to keep us on our toes.

I'm not suggesting that every moment you spend together has to be an adventure.This isn't about being perverse or combative for the sake of being perverse or combative. It's about refusing to settle into a state of catatonia after that initial "spark" starts to fade. The intimacy and comfort you enjoy with your significant other can turn into boredom and resentment if they aren't counterbalanced and contrasted with surprise, anticipation and, yes, conflict.

"Isn't it weird that we would rather sit around discussing the supposed relationship rather than going out and actually HAVING one?" (Your's truly)

We live in a touchy-feely, talk-show, couple's therapy culture. We've been trained to talk an issue to death rather than address it head-on. Words are not the enemy, mind you, but incessant blathering isn't the solution.

Think about it: What does nagging actually accomplish, other than to irritate your partner to no end while exhausiting and frustrating you? What does tossing around words like "bonding" and "reciprocity" signifiy, besides the fact that you've been reading way too many self-help books? And on the flipside: What does clamming up and hiding your opinions and gripes behind a pasted-on smile accomplish other than to make you bitter and resentful?

If there's a problem, address it and then move on. Words have their place, but actions speak so much louder. Opt for action, and you'll be amazed what you can accomplish in your relationship.

"Love never dies of starvation, but often of indigestion" (Ninon de Lenclos)

I'm not a play-hard-to-get kind of girl, but I do know the value of mystery, intruige and a degree of distance in a relationship. I don't view this as a tactic like the hard-to-get thing, but rather a relationship necessity: You need to stay your own person, regardless of whether you're with someone else or not. For one thing, when you become a half of a couple and stop being a whole person, you get into the habit of leaving your happiness up to another person. That's unfair and not very conducive to a good relationship.

"Don't forget, honey: Never let one man worry ya mind. Find 'em, fool 'em and forget 'em." (Mae West, "I'm No Angel")

This one is for all the single ladies. Screw the so-called double standard: Should you decide to sample the goodies that come your way, feel free to cajole, frolic and seduce to your heart's content and never apologize for it. Don't get me wrong: If you're in a commited relationship, this is a definite no-no. But if you're single and loving it, why not have some fun? The search for love doesn't have to be some biological-clock affair fraught with desperation.