Funny School Jokes

Out of the Mouths of School Children. Kindly sent in by Arthur Burley

It's mid-September and school has been back for a while. The children and their teachers are getting to know one another; here are some of their exchanges.

Maths Lesson

The math teacher saw that Daphne wasn't paying attention in class. She called on her and said, 'Daphne! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?'

Daphne quickly replied, 'ABC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!'
Two Sunday School Funnies

1) Finding one of her pupils making faces at others on the playground, Miss Barker, their teacher, stopped to gently reprove the child. 

Smiling sweetly, the Sunday School teacher said, 'Tony, when I was a child, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that.' 

Tony looked up, smiled and replied, 'Well, Miss Barker, you can't say you weren't warned.'

2) Miss Barker continued with the lesson and challenged her children to take some time on Sunday afternoon to write a letter to God. They were to bring their letter back the following Sunday. 

Tony wrote, 'Dear God, We had a good time at church today. Wish you could have been there.'

Touché

Will, when he taught French in Paulsgrove in England, used to write little notes on pupil's translations. 

He was working late one night, and as the hours passed, his handwriting deteriorated. 

The next day a pupil approached Will at his desk with the translation he had corrected. 'I can't make out this comment you wrote on my paper, Sir.' said the pupil. 

Will took her paper, and after squinting at it for a minute, sheepishly replied, 'It says that you need to write more legibly.'

Teacher's Magnetism

Mrs Mollard had been giving her second-grade students a lesson in science. 

She had explained about magnets and showed how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron. Now it was question time, and Mrs Mollard asked, 'My name begins with the letter "M" and I pick up things. What am I?' 

Tim, a little boy in the front row proudly said, 'You're a mother!'

A Question of Physics
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A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted him.

'Why do we have to learn this stuff?' one young man blurted out.

'To save lives,' the professor responded before continuing the lecture.

A few minutes later the student spoke up again. 'So how does physics save lives?'

The professor stared at the student for a long time without saying a word. Finally the professor concluded, 'Physics saves lives,' he said, 'because it keeps the idiots out of medical school.'