Forgive! Do you know how to do that?

I say I am fortunate to have experienced someone asking me to forgive them since it made me put myself in their place and then reflect on how they viewed what they said or did that led them to ask for forgiveness.  My character was strengthened with each of the events that happend. I looked at the traits of that person who was asking forgiveness and came to realize they had second thoughts about what they might have hastily said or done. It takes a mighty person to ask for forgiveness, I thought.

One instance in my life was with a neighbor whom I was extremely close to for 15 years. When things were needed by either of us, we asked the other and generally got a positive response. Since Bonnie was rather sickly, it seemed to be more of what I could do for her, rather than what she could do for me. Measuring the number or the times I did for her was not something I kept tally of at all.

There was a gambling problem Bonnie kept from her husband, but asked for my help in paying off a credit card bill she gambled into the danger zone. I was able to lend her money to pay off the credit card, so her worries were reduced. Smartly, I drew up a written agreement, so Bonnie was aware it was going to be a business deal between us. She told me how she could pay it back and I wrote those details down.  Bonnie paid on that loan each month. Nothing was ever said from me, regarding the balance unless Bonnie brought up the subject.  No one likes to get reminded of a stain on their character, so mum was the word on that transaction.

Bonnie's health twisted downward and so did her husband's as well. Bonnie thought for many years, that she would die before her husband, but life was not going to be like that. Bonnie's husband passed away. Bonnie came over to my home with the entire amount to fully pay the loan off to me.  Upon giving me that sum, she looked away and said she no longer wanted to be friends with me. I thought the stress pulled those words out of her, so just waited to see if they were truly meant. Weeks passed by and I gathered Bonnie meant that statement to me so gave her what she asked for by not contacting her. There was no reason for demolishing the friendship. I thought perhaps Bonnie wanted to gamble a lot with the new found money and therefore perhaps needed to dissolve  our friendship so she would be able to gamble as she wanted to without my presence.

Bonnie moved away into a smaller residence and one day drove by when I was outside.  Bonnie asked if I would forgive her for what she said and be her friend again now.  I told Bonnie I forgave her long ago and probably would not be able to be any better a friend than I had been to her for 15 years.

Another person who asked for forgiveness was a friend I had for 20 years. Continually Janet needed money, which I helped her out with during tough times she experienced. I expected not to be paid back and told her each time I helped. Janet called often, but money was not always given. My cat was very ill and I feared Buddy was dying. When Janet called, she did not offer comfort for my dying cat, which she knew meant a lot to me. Her abruptness in conversation to me, hurt. I stopped taking her phone calls until one day, I answered the phone.  Janet asked for forgiveness. I said I needed her friendship to be some comfort to me and she did not offer that to me. I told her I forgave her and could not be hurt again so would not be keeping her as a friend.