A parent or a friend!

     Let me introduce myself, so you will know who has written this information. My credibility comes from being a parent of  three grown, great citizens, of whom I am proud to call my children. No, they were not angelic all their lives with times when they were very difficult. I am singling out my oldest, a daughter to explain some vivid points.

     Like all parents, I was thinking about the times I thought being a parent and friend could be combined.  Now I still think you can be friends, but there comes  times, when they have all the friends they need and they need you to be the parent.Too bad it can't be selected when I wanted to be either of those things. You might be saying why choose? Just be both.I will tell you of one instance that I had to choose and fortunately, I made the right decision to be a parent and not a friend.

    All teen girls have slumber parties. For those of you who don't know what those are, I will explain.Two or more girsl get together and they put on makeup, take it off, try clothes on, take them off, goof around being silly and never tire. The bonding happens with friends that go to another friends home and stay up all night having boy talks and telling jokes.My daughter at 14 or 15 was invited to stay the night at Kim's house for a slumber party with only the two of them attending. I asked my usual 20 questions, as my children so reverently put it, and the night was given my stamp of approval.

      The party was a great success. My Kathryn arrived home to tell me how wonderful Kim's mother was. My daughter actually made me wish I had gone to the party too. Kim's mother played games with them, told jokes and was just "one of the girls". Kathryn said Kim's mother had such a great time with the girls and they will be doing that again soon. Kim's mother referred to Kathryn as a friend of hers.  Sure enough next weekend, Kathryn was again invited to go to Kim's house for another redo of the previous weekend. I suggested the girls come to my home, but Kathryn insisted on going there.

      The unhappy look on Kathryn's face told me something was not as it was the weekend before, when the three had such fun together. Kathryn  said she told an off color joke and Kim's mother came out of her "friend" mode and re entered the "parent" role. Kim's mother reprimanded Kathryn  by saying she was surprised and ashamed of her. Friends are not ashamed of friends, so that alone broke the closeness Kathryn thought she had with Kim's mother. At that time I was glad I chose to remain the parent and not be one of my daughter's friends. Yes, there were many instances I could have chose to be the friend, but then I would not be my daughter's best friend now and very much, always her mother.