I believe You Are My Father! Girl Mistakes Me for Her Dad! A Missing Person Search
A girl contacted me by email. She was convinced I was her father. How can I best convince her otherwise? By searching for her real father...
Family History is a fascinating pursuit. It educates us not only on the origins of our ancestors, but of the history of their day. We may learn what the Whiskey Rebellion was, what the War of 1812 was about, what coal-miner's scrip money was, what is contained in the Library of Congress, the history of slavery, the origins of the Yellow Fever, what a daguerreotype is, what a barque was, the geography of Alsace-Lorraine, and ever-so-many things more. It also helps us to locate missing persons. A missing person may be long dead. But a missing person may also mean a relative who is still living, such as a father, a sibling, or an uncle.
I used to devote hours a day to my genealogical searches, but eventually branched out in helping others find their missing parents or a sibling who was adopted out. Imagine my surprise, when one day, I went to read my email and found one from an unknown girl with my last name. She was not trying to find out if her family connected in to mine in some way. That frequently happens. No. She felt strongly that she had found her father, her dad. That father or dad, she informed me, was me! Why had I left her?
Visualize a man shoveling up his own lower jaw off the floor. The emotion that came through in that email was almost one of anger, but contained just a slight bit of uncertainty. The only good thing about it was that I knew it couldn't be me. But how to help her appreciate that fact? I couldn't! She didn't really believe me - could sense that fact. What was I going to do to get out of this situation?
I realized I had to find her father for her. I had to find another Vincent Summers in my approximate age bracket, living somewhere probably in the United States. The name Vincent Summers is not overly common, but it is not unique. Still, what if this girl's Vincent Summers provided no online activity and had an unlisted phone number? I began the search.
Now I am pretty much the most prominent Vincent Summers on the internet, so I had all that to screen through. There was also a very prominent Vincent Summers who was in the Iraq War, and who is dead. But there were a few others. I needed to eliminate any obvious impossibilities and find one or more who offered very real possibilities. Even if I could not prove one of them was the girl's father, at least she would see there were other possibilities, and I was not the shoe-in she felt I was.
You can be sure I did my very best to find the missing person Vincent Summers who was Mr. Right. I finally did narrow down the possibility to another fellow, and I got back to the girl. She did acknowledge that I might not be the guy, and I told her I wished her the best, but that I was not her dad. She let me off the hook. Now I know there are ways of proving absolutely one is not the father of another if that is, in fact, true, but I really didn't want to undergo DNA testing or family disruption. So I was quite relieved when she turned her attention from me to seek the correct missing person, her true father.
If she is reading this article, and if she has found her father, I hope she finds this all a bit amusing and doesn't think I hold any sort of grudge against her. But if she is still searching and hasn't found her father, well, my best in your efforts, and if you want me to try again, please know I am happy to give it a go for you. I would want to find my father if he were missing, and I feel deeply you should receive some help in finding yours.
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Hi Vince, I love this article. Also, I hope you are doing well with your recent surgery. Are you home yet? Prayers & Caring, Janet