10 Things Not To Do When Stopped for DWI/DUI

I am a police officer and have been in law enforcement for 10 years, so I have the occasion to come in contact with a few intoxicated drivers. Beside the obvious things not to do (example: vomit, pass out, urinate, defecate, take a drink of beer, spit, try to hit or try to run away from the police officer, all of which I have seen) there are a few slightly less obvious things to be aware of you if are stopped for driving while intoxicated.
1.  Of course, without a doubt, above all else drinking and driving in the first place. Just Don't Do It. 
2.  Do not call anyone on your cell phone. I know it is tempting, but don't do it. If you are already on the phone hang it up, and if someone calls you do not answer it. If you are on the cell phone when the officer gets up to the window he/she will think one of two things. 1) He or she has done this before, and is already making arrangements for going to jail, or 2) he or she isn't taking this traffic stop or me seriously. Either way you are going to jail. 
3.  Do not ask the officer "is there a problem officer?" I guarantee you if you were pulled over there is a problem and a reason you were pulled over, so skip that question too. The best course of action at this point is to get your driver's license and proof of insurance out when told. 
4.  Do not try to hide alcohol containers you have in the vehicle. Invariably one of two things will happen. You will spill the stuff everywhere, more likely than not on yourself, or the officer will see you do it. A person who has never conducted a traffic stop does not realize how much of the interior of the vehicle an officer can see when he/she lights it up with a spotlight. Any movement is obvious, and intoxication requires a person to make slower and more deliberate movements than normal. Being sneaky is not an option. 
5.  Do not lie. When an officer asks you "have you been drinking" or my favorite "have you had anything to drink tonight," (of course you've had something to drink, but why would you assume I was talking about alcohol?) it is because he/she already knows the answer. When the officer asks you, say yes. Also, believe me, there is not a police officer on the planet that will believe "two" drinks. A better answer, even if you did only have two, is a few or a couple, et cetera. 
6.  Do as the officer asks. Everything the officer does from the point that he/she suspects you are driving under the influence is scripted, rehearsed, and designed to support the court case he/she is building against you. If you do not cooperate, become belligerent, fight, cuss, or do anything beyond polite cooperation it will make his/her job of building a case that much easier. Which for us on the road is great, but for you, not so good. 
7.  Do not try to outsmart the officer, or argue your way out of being arrested. I've seen this many times, and it always ends the same. If a person is intoxicated enough to go to jail for driving there judgment is impaired. That gives the officer a distinct advantage. Not only is he/she stone cold sober and reasonably intelligent to begin with, but also he/she has been trained to deal with the very situation you are attempting to put him/her in. Many officers, myself included, enjoy this part of the stop. No matter what you say, or what you do, the officer is in complete control of the situation and can pick up where he/she left off in his/her routine. Most of the time the intoxicated driver who attempts to argue their way out of the stop or confuse the officer to the point where he/she just gives up and lets them go ends up being more amusing than convincing and goes to jail just the same. 
8.  Do not threaten the officer with a lawyer. Police Officer's by nature respond to challenges. Therefore, if you threaten him/her with your attorney (it always made me wonder why would a person already have an attorney; maybe this isn't their first time getting popped for DWI) he/she will try all that much harder to make sure your attorney gets a chance to prove they are as good as you say they are. Type A personalities and challenges do not mix well.
9.  Do not refuse to admit you were wrong. I am not saying you should say "I'm sorry for getting drunked up and cruising down the highway officer," or anything so dramatic, but admit that you have made a mistake. You have, after all, and there is a very good chance that the officer who stopped you kept that mistake from costing someone their life.
10.  Make your own call on sobriety tests. If you refuse to take the field sobriety tests it can be just as damaging in court as actually completing the tests. If you think you can do the tests, do them. If you don't, don't. Sobriety tests are just one of the many deciding factors officer's consider when making an arrest for driving while intoxicated. Just remember that the more you can cooperate with the officer the more likely either he or the court will give you a break. The last sobriety test you will be asked to do will be the breath test. I've heard lawyers tell people to take the test and not to take the test. In my State if you do not take the test you automatically lose your driver's license for one year, while your first DWI suspension is thirty days. Also, more often than not the court will offer probation to a first time offender. This gives the offender the opportunity to keep the DWI conviction off their permanent driving and/or criminal record so long as they comply with the probation. A driver's license revocation for refusal to submit to chemical tests is a permanent mark on your driving record, and there is a distinct possibility that the offender will also be convicted for the DWI.
The list provided here tells you what not to do when stopped for driving while intoxicated, but there is one thing I believe you should always do when your stopped for any reason. Remember that the officer is a person, just like you. He/she has troubles, worries, concerns, and a life just like you. He/she is also not perfect, just like you. Of all the officers I have worked with there have been very few that wouldn't be understanding and lenient if given the right circumstances. Police Officers do not believe they are perfect, and don't expect anyone else to be. They are just doing a job that they believe in, and are trying to make a difference in their community.
There is one final thing I believe this list needs. A disclaimer. I have in no way provided a get out jail free card. There is a more than average chance that even if you follow guidelines 2 through 10 that you will still go to jail. The only fool proof get out of jail free card is to follow guideline 1. Don't drink and drive, ever.

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