Types of Friendships

It is often easy for us to connect quickly to people we don't know. We meet new people everywhere. In the grocery store, at a sporting event, in a museum, in a mall, or at a public event. Many of these people we will only meet briefly and never see again. However, some of these people may become a friend. What is a friend? It is important that we understand what being a friend means to us before we develop a friendship. Well, we can describe an enemy as someone we may not like, a person we criticize, or a person we disrespect. So then is a friend someone we like, someone we praise and respect? And yet, there are different kinds of friends aren't there?

New Friendship. A new friend is a person we have just met. We think we are attracted to the personal qualities of this person but may not know fully why. We decide to continue to communicate and interact with this person to get to know him or her better. We may or may not identify this person as a friend in the future.

Exploratory Friendship. This type of friend we may not consider a good friend. We are not sure if we want a friendship with this type of friend. Additionally, we may be in contact with this person because we are in a life transition and our connection with this friend may be part of a temporary support system. This type a friendship may also include someone we meet with or see from time to time but never really get to know well or plan activities with.

Tentative Friendship. Perhaps we are visiting another location for a couple of months and desire contact or companionship while away from home. We may develop a relationship with someone for this purpose. This person can be a new or an exploratory friend but due to the fact that we will be leaving them, the friendship could be considered tentative. However, a tentative friendship can become more consistent if we decide to continue long distance contact or if either individual relocates in the vicinity of the other.

Expanding Friendship. No longer a tentative or exploratory friend, we develop an ongoing, closer relationship with our friend. We meet together consistently and disclosure continues and becomes deeper.

Intimate Friendship. In this type of friendship, we have developed a very close bond. Essentially each person has adopted each other as supportive influences to each other. The friendship is honored and cherished and deepens through time. This is an intimate friendship which includes shared romantic feelings and sexual attraction. Not much more will be mentioned about this since the subject can easily be expanded into another article.

Spiritual Friendship. This type of friendship revolves around spiritual concepts and ideas which become more important than any other activities or efforts. There is overall respect for shared spiritual experiences and content. This friendship may include shared praying or reading of spiritual literature. This is not a true friendship but includes a relationship where trust does not exist, miscommunication or perhaps dishonesty is common. There may be confusion or physical or emotional abuse associated with this type of relationship.

Tips & Warnings

• It is important that examine our current relationships. We can decide to create our own friendship types and place our friendships in these categories. Knowing what types of friendships we have can help us plan for future changes as we encounter life changes.
• Good friendships require commitment and work. It is important that we have some friendships in our lives. It is important that we allow people we trust to get to know us and be a part of our lives. Having such support enhances our health and well being. Additionally, included different people in our lives for different reasons. It is nice to have a variety of friendships where each one adds something special in our lives.