Death to Shoelaces (Plus How to Buy Sensible Shoes)

Last night we paid a visit to our good friend Jegs who works at the Skechers department at SM North.  We're there to deliver his kid Dave's birthday pics and to sing at the videoke with him after his shift.  

Jegs in charge of Skechers shoes for kids, which cost so ridiculously high that I am reminded why I vehemently refuse to sign up for parenthood.  

One time we were there, with just a less some thirty minutes before closing time, a rich mom and rich dad bought a pair for their pampered darling daughter.  A kid's shoes for 2,500 Pesos +!  Of course we're glad that Jegs is making a sale.  But if I were that kid's parent, she better be good all year or else I will make her eat her 2500 Pesos shoes.  I didn't even have my own pair of Mighty Kid shoes when I was a kid.  

So the Skechers shoes for kids have this Z Strap thing going.  In lieu of the cumbersome shoelaces we have assiduously tried to learn to tie properly when we were kids in order to feel responsible and competent, Skechers have simply provided a snazzy velcro strap.  Now today's kids don't have to learn the valuable, time-honored skill of tying laces.  They just simply snap open, snap shut.  No questions asked.  

Skechers even has a Z Strap cartoon superhero.  Imagine the instructions for the artist commissioned: invent a cool-looking superhero who will endorse Z Strap.  Doesn't have to have superpowers or character background, or motivations for all his actions.  Just good at strapping shoes.

Times like this makes me think of buying shoes now.  Yeah, yeah, I get it, I'm complaining of having no shoes when I haven't yet met a man with no feet.  My fake 350 Pesos Chucks are still serviceable, but it's starting to rain again, and damn it.  

Whenever I'm contemplating on buying shoes, my head unconsciously assumes a bowed position as I scan the shoes my fellow human beings are currently wearing.  If I'm contemplating on buying a hat, maybe the opposite would happen, but let's stick to shoe wear.

After you're done with the head bowing and shoe gazing, here's what to do next so you can buy the perfect pair of shoes.

1. Buy shoes in the afternoon, when you've done most of your walking and your feet have settled to their normal size.

2. Buy shoes personally. Do not rely on feet-traced-on-cardboard.  Cardboards cannot tell the difference.

3.  Wear socks. Clean ones.  And take a bath too.  It pays to be kind to the salesperson.

4.  Wear both shoes and walk around in the store to see if they're comfortable.  Be sure to come back.

5. Check if the quality warrants the price. Look, for instance, for stitching on the sole and on the sides.  If you like taking long walks, check if the sole is made of strong material.  This means that you are looking at a sturdy pair which will probably be around long after you and your feet have decayed.

6.  Function over form.  Form over function.  Your choice. What are you using the shoes for?  If it's to stalk your long-time crush, then look for stealth features in your shoes (non-squeaky, non-marking soles, etc).  In short, buy a sensible pair of shoes you need for your lifestyle.  I used to have an Adidas shoes for a specific sports which up to now I still don't know, and this mystery is not good.

7. Bring a friend along.   For comments and suggestions.  Ask "Are these shoes me?" several times to get his honest opinion.  Be honest with yourself too.  Especially if your budget can't handle the pricetag.

6. Remember just because you've tried the shoes on and walked in it for an hour doesn't mean you have to buy them.  You can say no if you feel it's not the right pair for you.

Time like this I remember Forest Gump and his immortal line about shoes: Momma always says there's an awful lot you could tell about a person by their shoes. 

So what can I say about kids who have Skechers Z Strap shoes?  They owe their mom and dad big time.