A Voice to a dying person

When you are summoned to visit with a dying person you love, you cannot, in very many ways,  prepare yourself for that encounter. I have always looked at the opportunity to improve myself and give comfort to the dying person. This is an event most people would rather not experience, however try in any way possible, to accept.

1.   I pray for the wisdom to say the comforting and useful things to say to the dying person even before I leave my home.

2.   I put myself in that dying person's place and bring some little gift that they can enjoy after I have left them. It is amazing how often a person can look at something and recall friendly or loving words that are attached to a simple momento you were thoughtful enough to bring to the dying person.

3.   When you arrive for the visit with the dying person, ask if they would liike a short visit from you. Many independent choices have been removed in hospitals, nursing homes and extended care facilities. Your  voice in asking their permission, gives them a say in allowing the visit or not. Honor their choice.

4.   Keep a lower tone to your voice when talking to a dying person, unless they have impaired hearing. The softer volume tends to have a sweeter tone  than a loud voice has to a dying person.

5.   Ask the dying person to let you know when they want to rest or sleep. You can, at that time say you will be there when they are more rested or inform them that you will be leaving before they wake up again.

6.    Let the conversation be governed by the dying person. They can discuss anything they want with a captive, caring person listening. Do not interrupt, let them talk all they want. Make sure some water, with a straw is near by if they want that to moisten their mouth as they continue the conversation

7.    Problems and annoyances in your life should be left somewhere else and not discussed with the dying person. If you can find a smile to give to the dying person, drop them off with this visit.

8.    When you are asked about your life, mention good events or something on the amusing side. If there is a pause for you to fill with words, select something of the past that was an accomplishment that dying person left as a positive impression on your life. The time they saved the puppy who was running around in the parking lot at the department store, a hobby they did so well would be very pleasant events to recall. 

9.  When you leave, let the person know you are ending the visit. If they are asleep, leave a little note. Ask if the dying person would like for you to return. Keep your intention to revisit.

10.  Anything that is said by the dying person stays with you. That is unless it will honor the dying person, be the truth and will honor the person it is about as well. You might be told some very special messages when the person is dying. Treasure them always and treat them carefully to preserve the dying persons dignity. You could ask if they want anything shared with specific people.

11.  Ask if there is something the dying person wishes you to do for them.If possible accomplish that request and then tell the dying person you did what they asked of you.