Can a Person Choose to Not be Gay?

Lately, there has been serious debate over whether an individual’s sexuality is a choice. Some people believe that being gay is a choice that an individual makes and that they can "choose" to be straight at any time. Others argue that a person is born being gay or straight or that their sexuality is determined at a young age. The fact that most gay people say that they are born that way or that they knew they were gay when they were very young, makes it clear that this must be the case. Gay people do not choose to be gay; they just are gay.

Most straight people can tell you that they have always been straight. They may have had some doubts during their formative years or during certain situations, but they knew they were straight. Why would this be any different for a gay person? Why do many straight people assume that a gay person has a choice, but a straight person does not? If you asked a straight person if they could just choose to be gay and start living that lifestyle, their answer would likely be, absolutely not.

When a person is young and first coming into their sexuality, they usually have dreams or hopes of who they will marry, who will be their date for the prom and so on. It is hard to believe that a young person would choose to have hopes and dreams of a same sex lifestyle with all of the stigma that comes with it. Why wouldn’t they just choose to be straight, so they could fit in, if they had the option of choosing? Instead, they are compelled to repress feelings that they have because so many people think that it is wrong.

Throughout history, gay people have been punished for their sexuality. In some cases their punishment is horrific. Gays were persecuted and placed in Nazi camps during the holocaust; countless gay people have been beaten for their sexuality, some to death; gay teens have been teased to the point of suicide; families have shunned their loved ones for their sexuality. That seems like an odd path to choose with all of the obvious risks involved. Perhaps that is because there is no choice.

It is quite possible that when a straight person tells a gay person to choose to be straight, that they are causing that person to be confused about something that they need not be even more confused about. It is obvious that this is not an option, so why does it even get discussed? If you want to know the answer to something, go to someone who has experience with the topic. In this case, gay people have the experience and their answer is nearly universal. They had no choice.