Coping with change

Dealing with Change

change is the only constant in life and we can either embrace it or try to run from it, but sooner or later, we have to deal with it!  The following is just some steps on how to cope with changes, both good and bad!

Step 1: EXPECT CHANGE!

We all know that change will happen and that life is full of suprises!  This is the first thing to understand.  Until you accept that change WILL happen and that you must deal with it, you will always be in a losing battle!

Step 2: YOU CAN'T CONTROL THE WORLD

When change comes, you can't stop it or control it.  The only part of the equation that you can work with is your own thoughts, feelings, and actions.  In other words, you always have control over how the change affects you and only you can decide what path to take when the change occurs!

Step 3: TAKE A BREATH

Only you can know how long it takes to adjust to changes, especially major changes like the loss of a loved one or changing jobs.  No one can tell you how or when to get over such changes.  This is not to say that you should dwell on changes, but you shouldn't rush through changes without taking your needed time.  Too often we either reject the change or we try to speed through this step, which can cause the stress to build up without some form of closure.

STep 4: BE RESOLUTE AND SET GOALS

The best way to survive a change is to have a clear goal and path.  This is your focus, your personal mantra of what is best for you.  If you don't have your own core values and ideals, then change will roll over you and leave you feeling lost and without purpose.  This is the feeling most people get when a major change comes.  Suddenly everything they thought was important is gone..now what?  If we have and hold onto what we believe in and what we stand for, then change can only serve to strengthen us, rather than cause us to crumble like so many do.

Step 5:  FIND THE GOOD IN CHANGE

Remember that you can't have darkness without some light.  They say that in our darkest hour, we find our true strength.  This holds true in even the most devestating change!  When we lose a loved one, families unite and find strength as they pull together.  Lose your job and you start learning to be resourceful and find skills you never knew you had!  Change can be stressful, but it can also be an enlightening experience if you approach it properly!

Step 6:  DON'T BE NEGATIVE!!!

The other part of finding the positive is to not build on the negative.  We tend to complain when change comes and we don't know how to handle it.  It's okay to let off some steam, but don't let the negativity consume you!  Let out what you need, then go back to looking for the good stuff!  Becoming overly negative and "grouchy" is a good way to run off your friends and family who are there to support you in your dark times!  

Step 7:  KEEP MOVING FORWARD!

It's easy to refuse to change and try to stay static, letting the world change around you.  Many of us get into routines and build our comfort zones around us.  When change comes, we draw in on ourselves and focus on our old habits, of the pre-change world we are losing.  We must realize that change is a natural part of life, just like growing physically, it helps us grow as a person to work through change!  Never try to go back, but instead look forward to the opportunities that change always brings!

It's not always easy to find the positive in change because some changes are so negative that you feel inadequate to the monstrous task!  Remember that you're never alone!  When the really hard changes come along, remember your friends and family!  They can usually help!  But don't wear out your personal connections!  For serious issues, it's often good to seek an outsider such as a professional counselor or therapist!