My Child On Drugs? No Way!

Think again because drug abuse is something that is not picky about income, race, or age.  Drug abuse is something that can happen to both children who have "perfect" parents who spend all their time thinking about their kids and parents that don't.  Drug abuse is something that can affect anyone.

But I've Been a Good Parent!

How "good" your parenting is often does not have the biggest role in your child's choice to experiment with drugs.  There are many reasons that kids choose to try drugs and lack of time with their parents, lack of communication, and lack of information is not always the reason.  Those three factors do often come into play but just because you've spent a lot of quality time with your kids and speak to them about everything under the sun does not make them immune.

So why do kids do drugs?  Here are some of the reasons:

• Boredom – they may be bored at school or they may just be tired of the "routine" of life.  So they create their own excitement.
• Availability – that's the main reason kids try drugs.  If their friends are doing it or if it is easy to get they are more likely to try it.  My daughter told me once, "Mom, I could walk out of this house and find someone to sell me a gram (of weed) in five minutes."  And yes, she does have a drug problem.
• Curiosity – they figure that they can't know the truth about drugs until they try it first hand.
• Insecurity – there are so many reasons to be insecure when you're in your teens and I don't think I need to tell you all of them.  But drugs puts a big blanked over all those feelings of insecurity and makes kids feel like they are just – more.  It may be temporary but at their age they'll take what they can get.

There are other reasons as well – just ask any kid that does drugs.  But the bottom line is that how "good" or "bad" your parenting is, all kids are at risk of drug abuse.

So How Do I Know If My Kid Is Doing Drugs?

Well, the only way to know for sure is with a drug test or to ask your child if they are doing drugs.  They might be truthful but it is more likely that they will try to cover it up.  But of course, there are signs that you can watch for.

1. Personality Changes – Yes, personality changes are a part of the regular process of puberty but there are some parts of personality that don't have drastic changes overall.  I'm not just talking about a "leave me alone" attitude every once in awhile – during the teen years kids need to have time to themselves and sometimes we forget that.  But if they suddenly have no desire to talk to anyone in the family, start taking all meals in their room, and give you only grunts and murmurs when you speak to them, you should start watching carefully for other signs of drug use.  If your once very active child would suddenly rather stay home than go to their hockey game keep your eyes open.  If your normally quiet child starts getting invited to parties every weekend and is eager to go watch for other symptoms of drug use.  Any extreme change in personality could potentially be a sign of drug use or drug abuse so start keep your eyes open to see if there are other signs.
2. Change in dress and hygiene – When a generally well kept child starts wearing ripped clothing, dirty clothing, and grungy hairstyles you should be aware that this kind of dress tends to be associated with drug use.  Girls may start dressing more provocatively and wearing more make-up.  I tend not to put too much stress on this sign though because the teen years are a time of learning who they are.  Some kids just feel the need to not look like everyone else and will generally try to look any way that other kids do not.  But if it is combined with other signs of drug use it can be very meaningful.  Especially if you start to see things like weed symbols on their hats or t-shirts that is definitely a clear sign.  You should also watch out for gang colors.  Find out what the gang colors are in your area.  Don't think there are gangs where you live?  You're likely wrong.  Talk to the manager at the community centre nearest you or a youth centre.  They likely have rules about wearing gang colors so they will know what to look for.  And yes, gangs almost always mean drugs!
3. Apathy – When you talk to your child do you get a lot of grunts and shoulder shrugs?  Do you get complete sentences from them or all they all mono-syllables?  If your child is not talking on a regular basis or uncommunicative for an extended period of time it could be a sign of drug abuse.  At the very least it is the sign of some underlying problem and if they won't talk to you, you should find someone for them to talk to – a close relative, a member of your church, a teacher, a counselor – anyone that they feel they can trust.
4. It's in the eyes – Yes, it is true that the eyes hold the answers to many things.  Watch for red eyes or extremely dilated or glassy eyes.  These are conditions that don't occur naturally.  Found Visine in their purse or pockets?  I hate to say it but kids don't buy Visine unless they are huffing or smoking pot or are hardcore swimmers.
5. Friendships – have your child's friends suddenly changed?  Noticed that there are a different class of friends hanging around?  Noticed that the friends they have been friends with for years suddenly have stopped calling?  All of those are good signs that something is up in your kids' life.  If you know your child's friends' parents give them a call.  They may know something but be hesitant to tell you because they think it is none of their business.

Be Aware

One of your best lines of defense may be just keeping your eyes open.  Don’t just brush it off.  Don't ignore things.  Don't assume it is just puberty.  Many of these drug abuse signs can simply be a sign that your child is going through a tough time and trying to figure out who they are.  But combine these signs with things like missed curfews, skipping school, deteriorating grades, and a bad attitude and you may have a drug problem.

In future articles I will discuss ways you can deal with this as a parent, ways to help your child deal with drug abuse, and where to go for help.