The Screw and a Few Other Jokes

It is the Late 1950's in the Midwestern United States with Teens Driving their Fast Cars  with Loud Rock-n-Roll on the Radio. So the School Prom is Tonight and Jimmy is Picking Up Christine to take Her to the Special Event. So Christine is still getting Ready Dressing. So the Father goes to Jimmy to Talk to Him. I know the Kids Today are doing the Screw the Father Said. Jimmy Looks at Him in Disbelief. The Father says again it is Okay. You can do the Screw with My Daughter, I know all the Kids are Doing it Now. So Jimmy and and Christine Leave for the Prom. Then after Midnight Christine Returns Home all Messed Up with Her Dress Torn and Her Hair in a Mess. Her Father Asked What Happened. She says I Don't Know.  What did You Tell Jimmy. The Father says I Know You Kids are Doing  the Screw Today, it is Very Popular. I Told Him He can do the Screw with You. Oh Know Daddy it is a Dance and it is Called The Twist

At the Seniors Citizens Center the Administrators wanted to do something Real Special for the Residents for the Entertainment Show. They also Wanted the People to Relax More as Things are Tough with the Economy. So they Decided on a Talented Hypnotist Who Works Wonders with People. So they Call Him to Set Up the Appearance. So it is the Night of the Show and Harry the Hypnotist Takes the Stage. He Talks to the Audience He Introduces Himself and Stuff. He says In My Pocket I have this Beatiful Gold Watch. He takes it Out it so Shinny. He Instructs All People Look at the Pocket Watch as it Hits the Light after a Few Minutes. All of the Audience is Hypnotized and Under His Control. He Tells Everybody to Relax as the Watch Spins as He has it by the End of the Chain. But it Suddenly Slips Out of His His and Hits the Ground and Smashes to Pieces. He Then Yells Out "Oh SHIT". He Spends the Next Three Weeks Cleaning Up the Auditorium