The Bioman Made Me Buy This Cellphone

As a kid watching the Bioman, the Japanese TV series that featured five people who can transform into high-kicking, kung-fu-fighting robots with costumes the color of the rainbow, what truly amazed me--what truly, truly amazed me--was not their special powers nor any of their weapons.

What truly, truly amazed me was their mobile phones.  Ok, they didn't exactly call it that.  It was more a regular watch they wore on their wrists, but one they can use to hold conversations with each other.  (We won't call it a walkie-talkie because Peebo, their android friend-recruiter who showered them their powers, presumably came from a more advanced universe than ours; walkie-talkies were so beneath him.)  Every time the Bioman held up their watch to their lips to communicate with their teammates, I would beam with intense jealousy.  Me and my sisters and my cousins could use some.  And yet back then, this was technology beyond our years.

And now the mobile phones of today do more than just let us talk to each other.  Now mobile phones let us play games, play a Bjork song, send a smiley to someone,  take pictures and videos of our dogs, cats, hamsters, find the nearest bookstore, oust a President, be an alarm clock, etc.  It seems there is nothing our cellphones can't do today.

Our cellphones have become our bestfriends, our confidantes, our ever-reliable life managers.  Through our cellphones, we are spared from the burden of loneliness our cellphone-less ancestors had to go through in the past.  We can stalk a crush, send obscene text messages to the clueless, hapless broke.  Bored?  Lost?  Found yourself in a bad party, or a strange new land?  Just whip up your cellphone and push any button, and instantly you won't feel out of place anymore.  Without our mobile phones, we just don't know how we can ever lead purposeful lives.

Imagine the Bioman with the cellphones of today.  Imagine what else they can do had Peebo only bequeathed them a Blackberry, or an iPhone, or even a simple N90 series.  Dr. Man would have to find a career of villainy elsewhere.

There is one other thing I would love my mobile phone to be able to do though.  Something the phone manufacturers haven't thought of yet, or might already have but are still getting the Court of Laws' approval for the technology.

I recently lost my phone at the MRT.  Ordinary rush hour, the train arrives, I get on, massive pushing ensues, and the next thing I know my cellphone is gone.  The evil bastard, whoever you are.  I wish my phone had a bomb activating device.  I would just have to call my own number, say the magic word, and BOOM!--your arms are shredded meat.