Wat Thamkrabok; the temple that makes you sick!

Desperation brought me to the gates of Wat Thamkrabok temple in Sariburi, Thailand. I had been an alcoholic for years and had almost lost all hope of any cure.  I really was reaching the end of the line. I just wanted it all to end to be honest.  The temple was my last stab at getting sober. If it didn't work out I had already made up mind to just give into my addiction. Stop fighting it.  

Maybe it was my struggle with addiction that was making it so painful?  Fighting the inevitable was plain stupid.  A few years previously I had been told that my liver had been damaged so there probably wasn't much time left anyway.  Probably best just to go with the flow and let my addiction take me where it wanted me to go.  I had seen people with end-stage liver disease and knew that despite how distressing it all looked, the patients themselves were completely out of it at the end. No, the temple would be my last stab at recovery from addiction.

Despite my pact, I did really want the temple to work for me.  I wanted a life after years of suffering.  I had been in and out of treatment centres since the age of twenty.  I had seen plenty of other people win over their addictions.  Surely I could do the same. The information on the temple's web-site sounded promising if not a bit extreme. Wat Thamkrabok was famous for its vomiting treatment and the fact that you could only be a patient once - no second chances. I was tired of second-chances so that sounded great; I just wasn't sure how I would manage the vomiting side of things.

The temple is run by Buddhists monks who are almost  all ex-addicts themselves. I was glad about this because I prefer dealing with people who had been through the same type of suffering and knew where I was coming from.  Despite their religious robes they made no attempt to promote any religion; they just wanted to help me. 

The vomiting medicine turned out to be a really difficult part of the treatment. It worked though. My body quickly passed through detox, and it was far smoother than my previous experiences with withdrawal. This vomiting took place in front of a large congregation of monks, volunteers, and patients who had already completed the process.  It was very humbling, and I suppose in a way that this is part of the secret of the temple.  Most of us addicts are completely self-obsessed and arrogant; the vomiting ceremony gets through that  makes us teachable. 

A Swiss monk at the temple, Phra Hans, explained the temple philosophy to me on the first day.  We use addiction as a tool in life to help us deal with pain.  We are experiencing this pain because we have lost our way in life. The tool we have chosen might work in the beginning, but eventually our addiction turns on us. If we can walk away from it though then we can find our path once again and there will be no need for any addiction. 

I left Wat Thamkrabok temple three years ago, and I've not had a drink since. The things I learnt there have stayed with me and helped me make a wonderful life. Just like Phra Hans promised, I have found my way. I will remain grateful to this special place and this will keep me sober.